Saturday, 23 December 2017

Angel. . .

May you find some comfort here. . . 

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

How long have you been waiting for your second chance?
It might have been something or someone that you've been waiting for.  There might have been signs along the way that presented, that made you think that you the chance was coming.  Did you believe it would be as easy as all that?  We beat ourselves up thinking that we're not worthy to receive love, not worthy to live as we want and so we put ourselves last, put the things and people away, push them away because we think we don't deserve any of that.  What distractions have you been filling your days with lately?  Distractions can be helpful or they can hinder you.  Sometimes when we focus too much on something, it detracts from us being able to relax and let things take their natural course.  What memories are you bleeding out from your veins?  Are they memories that you are trying to forget?  We should acknowledge the things and people that bring us pain and decide what we are going to do about it.  There's no point in making any decisions that will not bring you peace tonight.  What does Christmas symbolise?  The bringing of peace and goodwill to all men. 

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
Far from this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Where would you fly to?
How many dark cold hotel rooms have you found yourself lying in?
People may not be aware of the darkness that you have lived through.  You might be thinking that you will never show that side of yourself because it's your own private space that doesn't require an audience.  When we get stuck in those places, we should only be in them as long as we need to recognise that it's time to escape.  People have different ideas about what hotel rooms can offer.  Depending on what activities you are invited into or find yourself in, you can't really know how you are going to react to what you find.  What is the endlessness that you find in those dark cold hotel rooms?  Where will the arms of the angel come to offer you some relief and comfort from the drama or situations that plague you?  Do we know enough angels that we can call on to help us when we need it most?  Where would you fly if you had the chance to fly?  The endless moments that you would rather end - totally depends on how strong you become to end them yourself.         

So tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting 
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make a difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

Life isn't mean to be lived in a straight line. 
We have so many plans as teenagers, that careful stage of dream time when we think that there's so many opportunities out there and start to learn how to push our own boundaries, to push the boundaries of others.  I naively thought that my live was going to be lived in a straight line, but it didn't turn out that way.  Now I think, I don't think I would have enjoyed the life I lead if it had been all straight.  There have been many other lines that came from nowhere and that I followed, some eagerly, others somewhat reluctantly, but they all lead me to one place.  The best of me.  Despite whatever challenges and obstacles I faced, I have learned to value all of the experiences I have had.  They are the lines that have lead me to the straight line that I thought connected me directly to my destiny.  We soon discover that no matter how many times we escape, we can never run away from who is staring back at us in the mirror.

In the arms of the angel 

Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

I hope that you continue to have silent reveries.
The deliberate contrast of the wreckage and our silent reverie makes us think about perception.
Does what we see and what others see about the same situation the same?  I wonder when I will feel the arms of the angel.  I think if you can believe what those arms will feel like and the kind of comfort that you would receive, it helps you figure out what kind of life you should be leading, how hard you are prepared to live life.  I often wonder if that wreckage I've been pulled from in slow motion will come to a head (literally) and I will be able to see it before it hits - that moment of impact where the silence is deafening and everything slows right down until all you can do is feel the damage that is caused.  I guess then, and only then would quiet relief from an angel would suffice.  Only then would we be able to end the endlessness that we continue to manifest and create with our anxiety and worry.  I am thankful that I will be in the arms of the angel when I need them the most.  I hope that you find the same.  May you find some comfort here. . .