Thursday, 16 November 2017

Someone to watch over me. . .

Where is the shepherd for this lost lamb? . . . .

There's a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we're often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind

I love old songs like this one.  I think it reminds me of the jazz standards that we played back in high school when I was in the jazz band playing trumpet.  We didn't play this particular song, but I do remember it from Mr. Holland's Opus.  Which certain lad (or lass) do you have in mind?
You think you know exactly what you want in a person, or you think you understand what you have right now.  But nothing is ever is it seems.  I don't think we should go searching for anybody to fill any type of void in our lives, until we have figured out who we are as individuals.  I've seen it too many times before.  Seen it fail too many times when you rely on someone else for your happiness.

Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet
He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

We may look back in our lives and think about the lost loves, the past connections we have had.
We may find that those sepia tinted memories are exactly that.  Just memories. In the cold harsh light of reality, it wasn't as romantic as you thought it was.  Things may surface that you never noticed before and what you thought was mysterious and dreamy, may actually be hiding the truth that you needed to know all along.  They say we shouldn't live a life of regret, that we shouldn't become bitter; and we shouldn't.  So what should we do?  Learn from those big affairs.  Learn from those regrets that simmer beneath the surface.

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

It should take a lot for you to add someone's initial to your monogram. Why you ask?
Because your monogram is your insignia, something that everybody will be able to see and take notice of, so you want to be able to display those initials proudly. Does that mean if a monogram is a personal possession of yours, that by having their initials placed on it, does it make them your personal possession too?  I guess you could put down some fake initials if you wanted to hide your connection, or just be obscure and use the fake initials of a pet name.  Ah, it's just too much hassle isn't it.  I question if the initials on your monogram would be the same person as the shepherd?

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone to watch over me

Who have you been longing to see?
When you yearn and long for someone, it is because they are not currently with you.  They not be able to be with you because they just can't.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever reasons they can't be there.  I'm not sure if who you're longing for is the same person who should be watching over you.  What do you think?  I guess it depends on why we long for them.  The real reasons.  We can delude ourselves into making excuses that suit our purposes, but we have to stop looking out the window and start looking in the mirror and confront our current reality.  What decisions are you making for yourself that have created your current situation?  If we hope that just maybe, on the off chance that somebody will be the possible someone to watch over us, is that blind love, some kind of hope that we can't possibly let go?

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

I guess it also depends on whether the person who watches over you is someone who actually has good intentions for doing so.  I mean, having someone stalk you because they're obsessed with you is not a healthy scenario to describe someone who watches over you - they just watch you.  Maybe we should start being good to those who watch over us in ways that make our lives better.  Those who we have forgotten to acknowledge along the way, the ones we go to in our dire times of need constantly, hoping to talk some sense into us, taking away all of the fears and worries that we carry with us everywhere.  Are you that guardian for others in your life?  My older brother used to say to me when we were young - it's really hard to be good.  I have never believed that on so many levels until I was faced with situations that required me to be good, even when I didn't want to be, didn't need to be, because I had been mistreated.

Although he may not be the man
Some girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

The only thing that matters is that whoever watches over you, knows that they are doing a stellar job.
Physical attributes aside - they can be reassured that those are not the qualities that you wish for in a man.  If he is secure with himself in the knowledge that he is able to "embrace his own vulnerability, and to use emotionality as a radical tactic against a society which teaches you that emotions are a sign of weakness" (thanks Female Collective) then it is no wonder that he will have the key to your heart.
There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who knows his own beauty in how he lives his life.

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

I hope that whoever watches over you in your life, that you are able to create more magic moments.  There are so many stresses that life brings and if we're not careful, we can let them consume us when we're not looking.  I understand now that I am a serial emotional being of platonic intimacy - and that's a good thing.  At times it might threaten others because they don't understand what that means and how absolutely non-threatening it actually is - but that says more about their own insecurities about intimacy, which they may only think can be physical.  I had a music friend tell me once that he was emotionally unavailable and I replied me too.  I don't think he was expecting me to agree with him, but that's life isn't it.  Just when people think they have you pegged, that they have you sussed out, you go and keep them guessing and surprise them with the different layers of you.  Maybe that's why sometimes, even when I totally resist it, I might need someone to watch over me. . .