Sunday, 22 October 2017

You don't do it for me anymore. . .

So don't hate me when I say. . . 

I see the future without you
What the hell was I doing in the past
A love just like ours wouldn't last
I won't fall for your games
So don't hate me when I say

The more you learn about yourself, the more you start realising a few things.
Are you clear about who you see a future with?  Granted you can't really predict who you will surround yourself with and who the important people should be (they might be there right now or not).  If you're someone who has been constantly dragged into other people's games and played the fixer, like you're some kind of Olivia Pope (without the scandal) then you'll understand perfectly where I'm coming from (or at least what this blog post is about).

That you don't do it for me anymore
No you don't do it for me anymore

When someone doesn't "do it" for you anymore, you might want to be clear about what they actually "did" for you that makes you think that it's not worth doing.  Whatever stuff you were expecting to get from people to fill the void in your life, you have to start to question things about yourself.  Why do you have to rely on others to get what you need to instil for yourself?  The biggest thing is definitely around self esteem. I remember watching a comedy show by Katt Williams once and one thing he said about self esteem.  It's that joke where a woman blames a man for destroying her self esteem :

Woman: You f***ed up my self esteem!
Man: Bitch, it's called self esteem. It's the esteems of ya mutha f***in self bitch! How did I f*** up how you feel about YOU!

Despite profanity (which don't get me wrong, sometimes when you're really angry about something, it's always easier to just let it rip with a couple of curse words to get the emphatic meaning of your intention across without any misinterpretation), it's the last line of that joke that gets me every time.  How did I f*** up how you feel about YOU! The only reason we allow our self esteem to be diminished by others - is if we allow them to do so.

Money won't pay for your problems
You gotta fix them yourself
Vices and pity won't solve them
Stop feeling for bad for yourself
I won't fall for your games
So don't hate me when I say

I have probably written so much on this topic before, particularly when someone always expects you to fix their problems (that they created - you didn't create them) because you're just good at fixing things and making their situation better.  If you are doing this for someone - who continually keeps doing it, making the same mistakes, asks you for advice and doesn't take it, but still repeats those same mistakes (you've lost count how many times), then that makes them an askhole.  These people should stop asking for help - when obviously they don't know how to fix themselves - or clearly don't want to, because you will always be there to fix it.

That you don't do it for me anymore
No you don't do it for me anymore

You should also be at a point now where you are also sick of trying to fix things for the other people in the equation who also want help, but then they really don't.  It's not the askholes, but the other parties who want to be featured quite prominently in the askhole's life, when in actual fact, they have a life of their own - so we're talking about cake-eaters here - those who want their cake and eat it too, but there are gluttonous cake-eaters - who are the next level and eat other people's cakes as well.  This sense of insatiable appetite from an identified cake-eater is someone that you want to avoid.  That gluttonous cake-eater has no idea that they have a problem and continue to build their self esteems by stealing other people's as well (I know, gifted right?) to fuel their insatiable appetite and gluttonous behaviour.  So, askholes, cake-eaters and gluttonous cake-eaters are people that should most definitely not, do it for you anymore.

I'm not sorry for honesty I could not bear
To lie to, to lie with you
I'm not sorry
When I lie with you

There are other minor characters that are attached to the scenarios for these askholes, cake-eaters and gluttonous cake-eaters - but they aren't really worth mentioning unless they become a huge feature of the real life drama that you find yourself co-starring in.  I had a good conversation with an old friend who now lives in Australia and we talked at length about people and how we interact with each other.  He talked a lot about the idea of healthy cynicism and asked me if there is such a thing.  I replied - sure there is, it's called skepticism.  He laughed about that.

You don't do it for me anymore
No you don't do it for me 
Don't do it for me

I hope that you know what you need to do with your life.
We need to focus less on what we can do for others and what others can do for us.
We must instead focus on what we need to do for ourselves in order to make a positive impact on people and collaborate together in a more meaningful and healthy way - for all involved.  We shouldn't be relying on others to do it for us anymore.  We must do it for ourselves and as hard as that might seem for the time being, it is something that you must prioritise and learn if you are to reach your full potential - not someone else's potential - your full potential.  Otherwise what's the point in living?  We are born for a specific purpose, to live a specific destiny that brings specific impact to those who need our light the most.  So learn to recognise what you do for yourself.  Because I certainly will not be holding onto people who don't do it for me anymore. . .