Monday, 30 October 2017

Rose colored boy. . .

Low key no pressure, just hang with me and my weather. . . 

Rose colored boy
I hear you making all that noise
About the world you want to see
And oh, I'm so annoyed 
'Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me

Life will throw so much at you and you have to make some tough decisions.
You have to decide whether you will take it all lying down or you stand up and pick up what gets thrown at you and hurl it back.  If you've played King Dodge or Dodge Ball as a kid for gym class or physical education - you know exactly what I'm talking about.  I can still visualise those round red rubber balls, just a bit bigger than the circumference of our pre-pubescent pelvis' - that were often deliberately or accidentally stung by said rubber balls.  Is this how you live life?  Running around trying to avoid being hit by these rubber balls, or do you try and catch them on the full and throw them back?  There will be some that you can easily avoid, but you have to take courage, take that chance and grab hold, fling it back in the faces of those who seek to continually oppress you.
I had to break it, the wars are raging on
And I have taken my glasses off
You got me nervous
I'm right at the end of my rope
A half empty girl
Don't make me laugh, I'll choke

People will mean well when they try to offer you some advice - but sometimes it misses the mark.
They don't understand that they shouldn't be comparing their first world problems with yours, because if they knew what your life was like - they wouldn't try to seek to comfort you by belittling your crises with insignificantly way-off examples of empathy that just piss you off even more.  So they should be prepared when you get snappy and tell you to just not to do things, to walk away from things.  Because in all honesty, while you're busy fixing their lives and getting drawn into all of the things that take up your headspace, energy and at its worst - even your will to live - hopefully they will realise that they are responsible for you being the half empty girl that is standing in front of them.

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain't gon' smile if I don't want to
Hey man, we can't be like you
I wish we were all rose colored too
My rose colored boy

Crying is not a sign of weakness.
If you are upset about something and you can't afford to be angry and go throwing chairs around the room (I've heard that helps sometimes) then you have to find some other ways to exercise that cathartic release.  We can't all be like perennially rose coloured people, and sometimes it isn't as simple as looking at the bright side as well.  Sometimes we need to stay in the funk for a little bit - not too long mind you - just enough so that we start to understand what it means to be grateful for people and things in our lives that bring us both blessings and pain - because we can't have the good without the bad.  It's how we react to the bad that pushes us to create some solutions  - or rather some pathways - to move forward.

I want you to stop insisting that I'm not a lost cause
'Cause I've been through a lot
Really all I've got is just to stay pissed off
If it's all right by you

There is nothing worse than someone telling you what to do.
For me it's when people try to tell you how to feel.  That's the absolute worst.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone said - don't be mad, don't be angry, don't be like that, you shouldn't feel that way - I would be a millionaire.  There is nothing more irritating than someone who doesn't understand how you feel - telling you how you should feel.  To these people I say - step back thanks.  Nobody asked for your five cents.  These types of people who feel entitled to offer their opinions about your feelings should be told to leave you alone. Such people though, are almost always the same people who can't even sort out their own damn feelings - so why have the nerve to tell you how to feel?  Smh.  I say, if you want to stay mad about something or someone - stay mad long enough to help you push through to a breakthrough.  If you stay too long, that only opens the door to another pathway that leads to destruction and you might not be able to recover from that.  So choose wisely.  Know yourself enough when to pull yourself from the brink.  Stay away from people who think they know you better than you do.  Chances are - these people are partly responsible for pissing you off in the first place. Ha!

Leave me here a little bit longer
I think I wanna stay in the car 
I don't want anyone seeing me cry now
You say "We gotta look on the bright side"
I say "Well maybe if you wanna go blind"
You say my eyes are getting too dark now
But boy, you ain't never seen my mind

I hope that you are able to give people space who need it the most.  Have a think about how much you can support someone through their crises (yes, as they might be multiple, but you don't even know) and just be a good friend that way.  If you can take care of your own business and can pull yourself together, then maybe they might be prepared to accept from you, being low key no pressure, just hang with me and my weather. . .