Monday, 23 October 2017

More than one of you. . . .

This blog post is for Austin Mason 
Thanks for sharing this song with me. . . 

Make it level
Don't misunderstand
Make it level
On the other hand

Trying to understand where you fit into the scheme of things comes from a place in trying to understand your relational self.  I've been seeing this pop up every now and again in the research literature I've been reading and I guess it's something that's fascinated me for a while, particularly when I was teaching and now that I'm involved in working with principals, senior leaders and teachers in schools.  There are three types of selves: individual self, collective self and relational self.  The toughest to try and work through is of course, the individual self, because it forces you to take a long hard look in the mirror, to really examine who you are, what it is that you know about your sense of self, and whether what you know about yourself can be transferred into how you contribute to your respective collective self, where you learn to be part of a group and relational self, how you connect with significant others in interactions that require you to participate.  How do you make it level?

Every age is a different colour
Deeper for the memory of the sun

When you think about the significant periods of your life and how quickly things change or people change, you would probably be able to see things in different colours, in different hues.  Things could become brighter and provide more contrast, or they become more dull and fade in the harsh light of the sun.  What memories will the sun hold of your significant times?  You might even argue that no, there hasn't really been any significant times to be honest.  You keep expecting the other shoe to drop, for some calamity and disaster to take hold and ruin everything that you are trying to plan - so what do you do?  You shut down and then stop planning anything anymore.  We find that it is much easier to just let things fall away and never understand that we have a chance to live our best lives, should we choose.

If you want to take your place
Find a present everyday
If you want to answer yes
We don't have to double guess

Our indecision to commit to things, to ourselves in our journey means that we don't really want to do anything meaningful with our lives.  We might want to live a life without pressure or pain, but that would mean that you would live an unexamined life.  I'm not saying that life should be a series of trials, exams or pressure tests, but I would like to think that people would try to find the goodness that exists in their life - and produce more of that to help them move into the future.  If you want to pursue something that is worth doing - and you want to say yes to it - go and get it.  There are too many barriers that we construct for ourselves as excuses to getting to where we need to be.  We shouldn't be comparing us to our peers or people that we admire - granted they make for great role models - so appreciate them in that way.  Don't hate other people who are genuinely doing what they do for themselves.  I'm pretty sure people don't wake up and think - right, today I'm going to piss off so-and-so and post it all over social media so I can gloat about being who I am.  Gees. Really.  Is that what we're doing today?  It comes to intentions.  If they are clear and genuine, nobody would have to double guess about you, double guess what you do.  Instead of talking about it behind your back - they would approach you and just ask.

There is more than one of you
But only one of them is true

In Japanese culture they talk about this notion of omote (the public face) and ura (the private face).  Everybody practises this. There's no point in denying it. We exercise this all the time when we host people at events in our home or at public functions where we want to present our best, show our hospitality and use that as opportunities to put our best foot forward.  This is when we choose to show our omote - the public face, the image that we want people to see.  The ura or private face is the actual reality of our lives.  It focuses on the myths and lies being stripped away and we are laid bare.  Think of it like all the skin care commercials that we've grown up with over the years - when all of the makeup and gunk from the day comes off and you are left with your bare face, where the honesty seems to be easier to see.



Make it level (make it level)
When you take a breath
Make it level (make it level)
There is enough time left

It might take you a while to figure out how to make it level.
We get so impatient trying to get to our goals, or to try and find some goals to live by, that we don't take the time to breathe.  When was the last time that you took the time, to take a big long deep breath?  We need to be more mindful these days you know.  Take the time to listen to yourself as you breathe in, listen to the sound you make as you inhale slowly.  Hold your breath and listen for the stillness around you.  Then release that breath slowly back into the air around you.  There is enough time left to practice taking such breaths.  We need to just pause for a moment, and connect with our surroundings and know where we are in the moment. 

If you want to take your place
Find a present everyday
If you want to answer yes
She'll follow you right into bed

How do you want to take your place?
You might have to figure out where your place is.  Too many things might have gone by, might have happened to steal your confidence in your decision making.  Do you even know where your place is?  There might be people who want to oust you out of a place that someone else has afforded you.  Sometimes you don't ask for special treatment, in whatever way possible.  You're just being yourself and it makes people suspicious of your motives, or they make up things in their head that don't even exist.  But that is entirely possible right?  Someone would only blindly follow you somewhere because you weren't completely honest.  You might have made promises that were far outside the scope of your actual capabilities.  Why did you switch into build ups mode?  Who wants that person to turn up.  Nobody.  That's who.

But there is more than one of you
But only one of them is true

If you really think about it, you do have to question whether there is even a true side to yourself.
There are so many facades of you that nobody really knows which one is real, which one is meant for them and which one you were sucked into, in the first place.  So what now?  Be selective about which one of you that you want to put forward.  Which one do you feel comfortable looking at in the mirror?  Which one is the most accurate representation of you?  Which one is the one that you are most proud to show the world?

Running around her
Knowing that 
There is more than one of you
But only one of them is true
Only one of them is true
Only one of them is you

I hope that you realise that you don't need to run around anyone.
You can acknowledge all the different types of you that exist, and decide which one you want to be.
Be around people that ensure that you don't have to keep showing those different sides of you that are the furthest away from your authentic self, the furthest away from the person you actually are.  If you have to pretend so much and try to please people all the time, you are not really living your best life.  Know which people in your life value you, value what skills you have that make you unique.  Make time for people that know not just one side of you, but know all that there is about more than one of you. . .