Thursday, 19 October 2017

A woman's worth. . .

This blog post is dedicated to Sophie Kaulima - know your worth!

You could buy me diamonds
You could buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
(Baby you know I'm worth it)
Dinner lit by candles
Run my bubble bath
Make love tenderly to last, to last
('Cause baby you know I'm worth it)

As I write this I've just finished having a bubble bath myself haha.
All of the trappings (i.e. gifts) that a man gives you to show his love.  Count the ways he expresses how he feels by the actions he takes.  What does he need to do to prove to you that you are worth it.  Is you worth defined by what he gives you?  What you do for him?  I'm a fan of Alicia Keys.  I'm probably not as a big a fan as my friend Kerry who obsesses about her.  I did fall in love with her debut album where this song hails from.  It was just such a good mix of songs that taught women how to just enjoy being women and not to apologise for it.

Wanna please wanna keep wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough but to show that you know she is worth your time
You will lose if you choose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can find a man who knows her worth

If you aren't being treated right by your man, will you go and seek other men who will?
Spending time together is important and you quickly know when that time makes you feel good about each other, about a future together that will be spent growing old together, or about a future filled with uncertainty and second guessing yourself - whether you've made a great decision about being with him.  What would you do if you aren't being put first?  The best thing someone can spend on you - is time.  It just isn't reciprocal when a man steals your time and demands it of you, when you barely have any time for yourself. 

'Cause a real man knows a real wom' when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

How does he know that?  Do real individual recognise each other's realness?
That expected reciprocity is something that you think is quite common - but sometimes we can't see.
We don't realise (until it's too late) that there are other people who see the worst in us and still care regardless, or see the best in us, when there is nothing of the sort to be had.  If a real man is put first by a real woman, why can't he do that same?  What can he possibly do that would be pleasing?  Apart from the painfully obvious, is there anything else? 

If you treat me fairly
I'll give you all my goods 
Treat me like a real woman should
Baby I know you're worth it
If you never play me
Promise not to bluff
I'll hold you down when shit gets rough
'Cause baby I know you're worth it

Be careful who you shared your goods with. 
There isn't the same level of loyalty as there once was.  You can have platonic friends who swear black and blue to defend you and do what needs to be done, but whether that actually happens - that remains to be seen.  Is this all tied up in this crazy notion of knowing what a woman's worth is?  Who got to decide that anyway?  What if the woman doesn't know what she's worth? What if she didn't know that despite all her best efforts and willingness to save the world (and their first world problems) that she had compromised a bit of herself, lost a bit of herself along the way?  Would anyone remember to pick up those scattered remnants in her wake and deliver them to their rightful owner?

She walks the mile makes you smile all the while being true
Don't take for granted the passions that she has for you
You will lose if you choose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can find a man who knows her worth

If you have a good woman in your life, respect her.
It's too easy to take people for granted and think that they will always be there to support you because that's what you have known them to be in your life - the one with all the answers, to take you through the storms that you refuse to go through to get to the other side - so she bears the brunt of it all.  If you lose her, not only because you've not chosen to put her first, but even more basic than that - just refused to really acknowledge how the little things in life see easy to get through, because she holds down the big things - don't forget that.  I don't necessarily agree that she will have to find another man to recognise her worth though.  She can just look in the mirror for self validation.  The moment we have to keep seeking approval from others to validate who we are as people, because we can't value ourselves - that shows how little self esteem we really possess.  Things to work on I suppose.  The struggle is real, and it's a daily struggle.  This track makes me think that if you have a mutual understanding about where you stand - and that involves mutual respect - then you're going to ok, more than ok. 

No need to read between the lines spelled out for you (spelled out for you)
Just hear this song cause you can't go wrong when you value (better value)
A woman (woman's) 
Woman (woman's)

I hope that you don't have to read between the lines too often.
How many times do you have to be subtle about things before you just give up all pretence at niceties and just call people out for the smack talk that they do and the fabrication of lies that they have built for themselves?  I guess what Ellen Degeneres - although plain and simple - is actually quite right.  Be kind to one another.  If you can get that right - you will be well on the way to understanding what you need to do in order to know a woman's worth. . .