Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Rise. . .

Now I'm ready to rise again. . . 

I know that it's over
But I can't believe that we're through
They said that time's a healer
And I'm better off without you
It's gonna take time I know
But I'll get over you

When you come out of a traumatic state, a significant phase in your life, you start to wonder how to regroup and how to make the most of what you've learned and gathered along the way.  It is important to remember to grieve for what has come to pass, what new learning you are becoming to accept.  When our beliefs are tested and we are starting to realise how much of what we are thinking and feeling has more to do with ourselves and less with others, then and only then, will we be able to make some improvement.  Changing how we see ourselves, changing our ways and morphing into who we want to be should be things that we keep at the forefront of our minds.  What are the things that you do, that help you to rise?

Look at my life, look at my heart
I have seen them fall apart
Now I'm ready to rise again
Look at my hopes, look at my dreams
I'm building bridges from the scenes 
Now I'm ready to rise again

When you experience setbacks, they are only reminders that let us know that we are meant to prepare for comebacks.  People go through life trying to dodge pain and experiences that they try to avoid.  You cannot only expect the good to come.  The bad is also there to help you build character and help you to realise your true priorities.  I laugh at myself sometimes when I think about how much time and energy I have wasted on things or people that didn't really need me.  But if you truly think about such situations, time is never wasted.  Otherwise how would you know your own worth?  How would you know that not everybody who needs you, deserves to have you?

Caught up in my thinking, yeah
Like a prisoner in my mind
You pose so many questions
But the truth was hard to find
I better think twice I know
That I'll get over you

If you are surrounded by people who love to make their problems, your problems, move on.
These types of people who like to create problems and drama because they know you can fix, doesn't mane that you should always go to their rescue.  How much accountability do we expect from people when we are in fact enabling them to continue to be this way?  To treat us in this manner?  The truth is only hard to find because you are either in denial or you've been lied to so many times that you don't know what the truth looks like anymore.  It's a very sad sad day when we have been lied to so much, that we can no longer discern the truth from the lies.  It's like telling people that the media is fake news when you're confronted with hard hitting facts, common sense and logic and still in denial about your own part that you played in lying to your voters.  There is nothing worse than being a prisoner in your own mind. I refuse to allow anyone to try and keep my thoughts locked up and bottled inside, threatening me to not be able to express what I am thinking and feeling.  If you know people like this in your life, either stop hanging out with them, or school them on who you are.

Much time has passed between us 
Do you still think of me at all?
My world of broken promises 
Now you won't catch me when I fall

I hope that you don't deal in regrets anymore.  That's something I'm learning day by day.
We shouldn't have to wonder if people still think of us at all.  You wouldn't even need to ask - you would know.  There will be people that you will give up on, because they never make the effort to engage with you.  There will be people that you will give up on, because they don't have the same understanding of what it means to be a friend to you.  We need to take responsibility for our own actions too. Nobody is perfect.  Sometimes it's just the way that we react to each other because we don't want to get hurt, that gets in the way of open and honest conversations.  Once pride, jealousy and envy rear their heads, it is difficult to really know how much you are willing to divulge, disclose and just plain lose.  Regardless of where things stand between me and any other person who either wishes me the best, or less, I will always take comfort in my determination to always rise again. . . 

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

You can find me. . .

To find your happy gotta lose control. . . . 

Thinking about those nursery rhyming days
When it was all fun and games 
Never had a care in the world
When did it all begin to change
Go back to the merry-go-round
Laughing and acting like clowns
Stay in this moment til'
We see the sun go down

Wasn't life simpler when you were a kid?
When we face things as adults, where we have to grow up and face facts. we find that we wish we were young again, so that we don't have to take responsibility.  Have you had those days?  Where we just pretend like we don't have to do anything that we don't want to, that we can just do what we like, when we want and with whom we want.  What moments are you keen on staying in?  We need to all remember that time is fleeting and that we make the most of the moments that we can create or let slip by.

I treasure your heart of gold
I'll be your shadow when you feel alone
'Cause nothing changes when I'm on the road
To find your happy gotta lose control

Are you fed up with people who only turn to you when they need help?
Real friends and loved ones will always reach out when you need them to.  It's one of the perks of being close to someone who knows you better than you seem to know yourself.  Sometimes if we allow somebody else's shadow to take over your light, then we are allowing ourselves to shine a little less.  Why would you do that?  Granted you can't expect people to try and find favour with you, especially if they don't really understand where you're coming from.  Why doesn't anything change when you're on the road?  Are you really that happy with what little happiness we have?  Either be happy or have control.  Sometimes we need to let go in order to gain/

If time between us gets a little uneven
Don't you worry 'cause you will find me here
Never broke a promise, never been dishonest
Don't you worry 'cause you will find me here
Oh oh you can find me, find me
You can find me, find me
You can find me, find me
You can find me, find me

Who do you make yourself available for?
Sometimes you might need to take a back seat and really take stock of who or what you need to spend time on.  It might be difficult to figure this out at first, but once you refocus and reassess your priorities, you realise how much is at stake for yourself.  It's always been easier said than done to think about yourself first, putting your needs, dreams and goals first - because nobody is able to achieve them, except for you.  I often wonder what I need to find sometimes - it's the self belief that eludes me that I need to hold onto, latch onto, and never let go.  All of the answers lie within me if I look hard enough and just push through.

Feeling like I've been misunderstood 
Like I heard she's gone to Hollywood
Couldn't be more wrong if you tried
Think you should take a hard look
It's not hard if you try
Try to see, through my eyes

As I leave Dunedin to return home to Auckland, from another work trip, I think about the reflections that educators have shared about their learning today.  I talked about Multiculturalism and how we need to exercise tolerance and love for each other.  How we must learn to value each other and respect human life, by embracing differences other than our own.  I can't but think about Charlottesville and how we can see each other, through each other's eyes.  How much are you willing to change about yourself in order to be more tolerant, accepting and more caring of others?  Sounds simple doesn't it?  But why is it so hard to achieve?

I guess unless you are willing to come to the party, to come to the table, and see how I see the world through my eyes, only then  will be able to , only then you can find me, find me. . . . 

Monday, 7 August 2017

Love my life. . .

I love my life. . . so I'll help you learn to love yours. . . 

Tether your soul to me
I will never let go completely
One day your hands will be
Strong enough to hold me

I turned 40 years old last Friday.
I spent the day doing things that I loved with people that I loved.
Granted not everybody that I wanted to spend the day with were available (either busy with unforeseen circumstances or they no longer walk this earth), and I don't want to take the day away from those who made a special concerted effort with me either.  Life happens sometimes and despite all the plans, sometimes things happen and not everything goes according to what we want, no matter how hard we plan.  For all of the unexpected turns of events throughout the day - I had a wonderful time with people who made the effort to leave their homes from around New Zealand and come and spend time with me.  The greatest gift you can give someone - is your time.  The best present is presence.  The best present is just being present.

I might not be there for all your battles
But you'll win them eventually
I'll pray that I'm giving you all that matters
So one day you'll say to me

There are some friends or family that you don't really see that much, but you know they will always be cheering for you in their own corner of the world.  These are the kind of people that you want to stay connected with.  These are my type of people.  I had a conversation with my mother about people.  She asked me why people aren't forthcoming like she is.  The question made me smile.  My mother has a tendency to wear her honesty like a crown.  She is unique like that.  She gives more information in a conversation than is required, and sometimes I worry about her.  Because I can see that people take advantage of her, because she loves to help as many people as possible.  Some people might say that I've inherited that from her, but I think I'm more discerning in being able to smell dishonest people from a mile away; those who seek to exploit me for their personal gain.  If we extricate ourselves from situations that people are hell bent on including us in, then maybe it needs to be said that we learn to distance ourselves from said people.

I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life

You should be able to go through life knowing how important you are.
When you are constantly being bombarded with negative statements that people throw at you, there is no obligation for you to wear it.  When things don't go your way, there is scope for you to understand that there are your ways of being that will completely mystify people.  That's ok too.  Not everybody is meant to know exactly who you are - just as long as you do, that's all that matters.  I think we should start focusing on the awesome things in our lives.  I have noticed that playing piano more often and creating more music gives me such a sense of joy and wonderment that I can't place anywhere else.  The magic I find within from playing songs and music that uplifts my soul - that's the kind of magic you need to experience daily for yourself.  I am more mindful of the little things that bring me joy, that bring me excitement and anticipation that can never be erased.  Create your own magical moments, rather than relying on someone else to create them for you.

I am not my mistakes
And God knows I've made a few
I started to question the angels
And the answer they gave was you

Don't you think if we were all our mistakes and wore them around our necks like garlands, that we probably wouldn't be able to hold our necks up?  The sheer weight of all the dumb, stupid and hurtful things that we've ever done would be worn everywhere we went, until we decided we were worthy enough of new beginnings and salvation to have the courage to remove it.  Do you have conversations with angels?  I have had my fair share of conversations with angels.  Most of the questions will probably never be answered until I'm no longer earth bound and then I can truly see things for myself.

I cannot promise there won't be sadness
I wish I could take it from you
But you'll find the courage to face the madness
And sing it because it's true

Have you come across people who try to take away sadness from you?
They mean well, have good intentions, but don't understand that sadness is a necessary part of life.
Without sadness we wouldn't know the difference between that and happiness.  We wouldn't know what rainbows look like after a rainy day and we wouldn't appreciate the warmth of the sun on our faces.  People have expected me to take their sadness away from them, but I can't.
It isn't my sadness to remove and they need to hold onto their sadness for a little bit, until they have learned all that they need to ensure they understand the place of sadness in their world.  It is something that we cannot ignore but something we must process.

Find the others
With hearts like yours
Run far, run free
I'm with you

Do you know where you can find people like you?
The only way we can do that is to truly talk to people and discover their inner light.
I anticipate there will be lots of opportunities for me to travel the world soon and I'm looking forward to it; a chance to learn more about myself, to run far, run free, and see where life takes me.  I don't know exactly when that's going to happen, but I will know once it does how I will feel and finally, I'm where I wanna be. . .