Thursday, 20 July 2017

Can't get by without you. . .

And I'll have all the love I need to keep me satisfied. . . 

I've been feeling a bit reminiscent of late.  Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it isn't.
I've been spending time with people that I normally don't get to see, particularly during this two week holiday break when I'm not in schools so much, and also because are here from overseas and will be returning to their own work as well.  What do we take notice of when we talk to people?  If I'm in the car, the first thing I notice is the music - what songs are playing in the background.  Today's blog post features one of the songs I heard in a car today.

When I leave your door
When we say goodnight it hurts me more and more, 
Cause girl it just ain't right to end a day like this, with no more than a kiss
And spend the night just dreaming of the things we're gonna miss

The opening of the song reminds me of some classic Barry White number that I can never remember.  It's quite typical and formulaic of the songs of that era.  When you say goodbye people do you often think about the things that you're going to miss?  I don't think we sink ourselves heavily enough into the moments, drinking them in, taking notice of all the little details that make that moment.  Sometimes we are so single-minded in the moment that we forget about the bigger picture at play.  We only think about the desires that come to mind that contribute to our own pleasure. We neglect to think about what is happening in the moment for someone else.  Why should the end of the day end with more than what you expected?  Why should you presume so?

If I have my way, girl we'd be together more and more each day, 
We'd go on forever, lovers hand in hand, 
Can't you understand
Girl you've got to be my woman, I've got to be your man!

If someone wants you to be their woman, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen.
If they are half hearted about what that really means for them, then the simple answer is just to shift your focus and energy into something else, or someone else (hopefully yourself).  Why would they talk about having things their way and not ask you what you want for yourself, what you want for each other, for the "us" that you are going to be?  Why does he have to be your man?  How much better is your life going to be with him?  Do you really need him?  What if his quality of life significantly increases because you're in it, but not vice versa?

'Cause I can't get by without you, I need you more each day
The way I feel about you, leaves nothing more to say
'Cause I love you, girl I need you
And I can't get by without you, no way!

If someone can't get by without you, it should make you wonder.
Why is it that they need you to be dependent on - why can't they do things for themselves?
If someone loves you, they will respect the fact that they won't necessarily protect you from everything, but they should know that it is important to be upfront in that relationship.  It sounds cliche that all good relationships are founded on honesty and being honest with each other - because well, I don't really see the point in hiding things or lying about things either.  I wonder about the tone of desperation - is it warranted?  Would you sing a similar sort of song in return?  I'm trying to rack my brains thinking of a female equivalent to this song - there probably is, but I just think there are more male songs about this kind of topic - wanting to hold on to someone who does not want to be held.

It's a sad affair, wasting precious time that you and I could share, 
Girl it's such a crime to hear you call my name
It's a crying shame
When we're not together, there's only time to blame

There is something to be said about patience.
Very few people have it, and the ones that do, are already impatient with the ones that don't.
When we go to call out people's names and tell them what's up - do you know what you're trying to say without having to filter it all the time?  Maybe we call out people's names to tell them to stop, to tell them that it's enough, that you want to stop the merry go round they keep trying to put you on and just get on pushing yourself in your own direction.  Is it any wonder that you would rather be apart with all the time in the world, than be together and know that time is an illusion?

There will come a day, girl I do believe it's not too far away
When I can say goodnight and still be by your side
To dry the tears you've cried
And I'll have all the love I need to keep me satisfied

At this point you're probably thinking, wow, she really hates this song haha.  Not at all.  I actually like this song, but I guess because of what's happening around me at this time, the song makes me think about how being apart can be a really good thing.  That when things are meant to be, they will naturally run its course and things will happen in due time.  Why are we impatient for satisfaction that can't be rushed?  The longing that people have for each other, sometimes has to be exercised with restraint.  Maybe people just stopping believing and gave up?  What does each passing day hold for you?  I hope that despite all of the challenges you face in your life, that you are able to count the blessings rather than the blemishes that you think hinder you.  Too often we can focus on our mistakes, our downfalls, our pride and hearts being smashed to pieces.  But how can we move forward?  Even if you think you can't get by without me, I actually feel the opposite, that I don't feel I can't get by without you. . .