Monday, 12 June 2017

Just the way you are. . . .

I just want someone that I can talk to . . . 

Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before 
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I was just over a month old when Billy Joel released the album The Stranger where this track belongs.  I've blogged about so many of his songs, mostly, strangely enough, from this particular album and I'm not sure whether it's because I must've been hearing it a lot during my first few months in this world.  When you think you're too familiar with someone, you try to find new things to talk about because you don't want to feel stale or stagnant, you want to be vibrant and constantly on the move.  But if that isn't naturally how you are, not naturally your way of being, does it become more about what you expect to be, rather than a natural progression to that state?

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

There's something to be said for people that are only with you in the good times, but never stick out for you in your bad times.  I've been having conversations lately with people who have been going through some tough times (when are people not in tough times - just seems to be more of it lately than ever before it seems), but everyone is at different stages of difficulty, struggle and loss in whatever they seem to be facing.  My ears and empathy are always attuned to hear and receive what people are saying with their words, how they say them and whether they are aware of the aches and pains, the anguish that seems to seep into their words that they don't see.

Don't go trying some new fashion 
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care 

Is it a bad thing to want to alter your physical appearance?  Cosmetic changes may be something that you feel make you feel good about yourself.  When people aren't willing to show you their passion, but have shown it on so many other occasions - does this mean that they have stopped caring?  Why do we keep testing people to check whether they are suffering without you?  When people don't respond to what you're saying, maybe they don't know how to respond to what you're saying or they have nothing they feel is significant enough to say?  What new fashion are you going to try today?  are always going to be quick to judge you on your physical appearance - it's normal, it's what they see.  I had someone compliment me just tonight on the way to dinner, asking me if I was training because I looked slimmer.  I just said I'm smiling more, so I must look happier.  They didn't buy it.

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

Maybe you want clever conversation because you've had other things before and they never mean as much.  When I expect someone to be able to talk to me, it should be effortless to a point, but only because you spent the time getting to know someone so that it eventually does become effortless.  It takes time and energy, really careful listening and a genuine appreciation of people, despite first impressions.  I actually really like clever conversation - but not the intentional clever kind.  I like clever conversation where you bounce off each other and things just fall into place and you discover meaning together.  Like happy coincidences or happy accidents that are serendipitous.  Not the opposite of that, which is like, oh well, shit happens.  We shrug our shoulders, brush it off and move on.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me?
The way that I believe in you?

I think when you come to rely on someone to be a certain way for you, it can be natural to think that they will always be like that forever.  When do you realise that they have changed though?  When they exhibit behaviour that deviates from what they have expressed to you in the past, you start to question the change.  When people do change, they might make some big announcements about why they are changing and then hope that they are able to sustain this rate of change.  This mismatch of belief in each other, may not be because of you not having enough faith in someone, but more to do with them not having any faith in themselves.  

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are

I hope that you find someone who loves you even better than you think.
We think so little of ourselves and don't remember how amazing we actually are, because we listen too much to the negative voices, to the people who do not care to champion the things we love, the people we want to uplift and wish success for, just as much as we would for ourselves.  If someone wants you to change for them, have a think about it.  Change because you want to, because it makes you happy and you want to try it.  Otherwise just know that you're beautiful just the way you are. . .