Sunday, 9 April 2017

I Don't Know How It Feels To Be U. . .

Listen up, so you know how it feels to be me. . . 

There's something about this song that is really appealing.  I'm not sure whether it's because it's Friday afternoon here in Aotearoa New Zealand, it's close to the end of the workday and all I can think about while listening to this song is playing it full blast on repeat while sipping a glass of my favourite elixir in a bubble bath, surrounded by scented candles.  Bliss I tell you.  Just pure bliss.

I don't know, I don't know how it feels to be you
Though I try my best to understand what you're going through
I don't know how it feels to be you

When a man says he doesn't know how it feels to be you, he should be asking what he needs to know in order to feel what it is like to be you.  What does he need to know in order to understand your experiences as a woman?  To know what your challenges are?  To know what discrimination you might face on a daily basis, or things that he's doing that just adds unnecessary pressure or takes away the focus on what you need to be getting on with.  I guess what we could be celebrating is that acknowledgement that a lack of understanding is taking place and that they are willing to push through with learning all there is to know about you.

Though I try to learn your steps
I don't know what makes you dance
I don't know what turns your grey skies back to blue
Though I try to see your side
And swallow all my pride
There is no way I can take a step in your shoes

Maybe he's out of touch with learning the steps, because he's never really had to learn dance steps from anyone else before.  He hasn't taken it upon himself to learn the steps and win someone over.  You might find yourself coming across such men as this quite often in your life.  People start to question whether you are deliberately attracting them to you, but it could just be completely taken out of your hands.  You can't help who you are and if people want to be around you, because you make them feel better about themselves, are you able to limit that?  When you argue with people (or don't), and you are expecting an apology for an insanely long list of crimes against common human decency, you might find yourself waiting for hell to freeze over.  Face it - an extremely long time.

So lay your cheeks upon your chest
Tell me everything that haunts your mind
Oh wow oh oh oh
I may not have all the answers
But if you let me I can at least try
(Let me try baby) uh uh uh 
And when I'm sure I've had enough
The angels tell me just to wait a while oh oh oh 
And baby I am sorry for being so hard on you sometimes

Have you had someone offer to listen to or try to remove the things from your mind that's weighing you down - but they weren't the right person?  You can be forgiven for getting increasingly frustrated at people who think they can say inappropriate things to you.  Maybe you just need to be a lot clearer and have an opportunity to tell them to their face, when they are brave enough to show it.  In the meantime, continue doing what you usually do.  You know your intentions and what you are trying to do.  It just gets a little draining having to justify yourself all the time doesn't it?  When I've disagreed with comments that a friend has made, it depends on how I think that particular friend will react, that dictates how I will interact with them.  I have friends that may not have all the answers but at least they try.  I have friends who have more questions than answers, because they're not equipped to arrive at their own solutions.  Then there are the friends who think they have all the answers and like to make comments, give opinions or pass judgement on things that they are not required to.

Every I ask myself 
Are we really on the same page oh huh
And everyday I wonder, is there something that I'm 
Supposed to say, I wonder baby

When you have disagreements with people, how long do you leave it until you address the issue?
You might not even address it all and just pretend nothing is even there.  You might have to find other opportunities to have that hard conversation.  But whatever you decide to do, just don't waste so much time wondering what it is that you are supposed to say to people.  Just be who you want to be and say what you need to say because it comes from a genuine place and most certainly, from a place of love.

'Cause you and I are so in time
Maybe I'm just picking the wrong lines
'Cause I feel it in my heart, you know I adore you
But sometimes you can't even look me in the eye
Why oh why oh tell me why I don't know

I hope that people will start to say the right lines to you.
But even if they don't, it might be because it will take them a while to figure out how to say any type of lines to you, get it wrong a few times, before the lines are right.  I started this blog post on Friday and so much has happened since then and now it's Sunday evening.  It has made me reflect on how quickly change has come about and what it is that you can do to make your life better, even when people around you cannot sometimes be relied upon, disappoint you or will never truly understand how it feels to be you. . .