Thursday, 30 March 2017

Send my love (to your new lover). . .

When you accept the new lover on the scene. . . 

Just the guitar

This was all you none of it me

You put your hands all over my body and told me, umm
You told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I'd be your last love everlasting you and me
That was what you told me

The promises that a lover makes can often be made in the heat of the moment (literally) and those are the moments when things are super heightened, when you think that dreams are possible, impossible plans seem easy and life fluffy candy floss, sticky and sweet.  When someone is prepared to make a huge commitment to you, it is natural to feel like this is when your life together will begin and you believe that things are going to go how you want them to.  You rely on the words shared in moments of love because the words surely must express the actions that it accompanies.  In some situations there might be some "take-backs" in love.  People might have made some grand gestures or made some promises that reality gently reminds them, are not possible to follow through.  How many rude awakenings does one have to be subjected to before you realise things for what they are?  What is everlasting these days?  Sometimes words aren't enough to hold on to anymore.  They come and go as easily as the sun sets and the moon rises; things we can't control and are inevitable, they just happen.

I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free, oh

You can give someone up or forgive them when you understand that they are not meant for you.
Sometimes these opportunities never present themselves because the other party isn't willing to acknowledge that they may have given you false hope or lead you astray.  You might then start to wonder - why do people do that?  Why do people treat others that way?  Make them believe something that isn't true or make them believe things that never were?  I think people are sometimes afraid to be genuine, real and authentic in their intentions.  Maybe they think they need to be deliberately deceptive because they believe that they need you in order to bring other things in their lives to fruition and they just can't do it without you.  Granted there are easier ways to achieve this, but they just didn't know how to articulate that before.  It's all just a bit silly really isn't it.  I guess there's nothing to forgive because that's just how people are.  The easiest way to overcome betrayal and disappointment is just to accept that people are the way they are and no amount of explaining your position or trying to be reasonable or provide some kind of rationale is pointless. They're just not equipped to understand what and who you really are.  That's the thing about belief aye.  Presented with all of the available evidence - people will still believe what they want to.

Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more

What ghosts are haunting you?  When you come across an ex lover in the street are you able to take them at face value and ignore all of the could-shoulda-woulda's that seem to float around them?  If you aren't kids no more, you are prepared to accept the harsh reality of why people do the things they do.  I have always been hopeful that people I have been associated in the past have been able to move on and become better for others who choose to engage in relationships with them.  If there are ghosts that linger we might be mistaken for thinking that ghosts linger because there is unfinished business that needs addressing, but no.  That's not why ghosts hang around.  Yes, they might want you to complete some unfinished business for them (blame Ghost Whisperer for that) but it's also more to do with things that you need to be conscious of that needs addressing.  You just might need some external assistance pointing that out to you.  Will you pay attention to the signs along the way?

I was too strong you were trembling
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising (rising) umm
Baby I'm so rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down (down), umm
There's only one way down

I guess the thing about falling down is the idea that you're coming down or crashing down to reality.
When you are in a different space or at a different pace to the other person who wants to engage you in a relationship, there might be some serious talks that need to be had about how things will work.  I'm not saying that relationships are work, but I am saying that you do need to work on communication and ensuring that clarity and transparency are the order of the day.  I've been finding that I've had to be much clearer and more transparent in everything that I do lately.  In the past I might have been angry or annoyed about having to justify myself but now I realise that some people require multiple explanations and approaches of things that you say because they don't have the same life experiences as you.  When you are tasked with explaining things to people and you are being relied upon to do that - it makes perfect sense that you try to hone your craft and become open to criticism because if it makes you the best version of yourself possible, isn't negative criticism the best thing?  When people can't handle you or what you are about - help them understand what you mean and give them opportunities to understand.  But I guess if you don't want them to know you or where you stand, continue to be enigmatic haha.

I hope that people who have left you to be with other people, new lovers or whoever they happen to be labelled as, that you are ready to move through it and remember who you are in the process.  Sometimes in breakups or in relationship breakdowns we struggle to understand what we demand of ourselves, because we've been too busy giving ourselves to others, we give so much, if not, all, to our detriment, that we forget what we want for ourselves too.  We forget that it's ok to want things that don't include other people.  We forget what being free really feels like because we feel that we need to feel connected or belong to people, maybe even to as many different people as possible.  But I disagree.  I feel that you should just think about what you want for now, and just think about how you want to be, just be, but only if you're ready, if you're ready. . .