Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Me. . .

This track is a song request by +Pikihuia L 

I just want to be free
Swinging my titties from tree to tree
Sipping ginger tea and Hennessy

Looking good without a weave
Let me be as the sea
Can I flow
Can I go
To the corner store
In a pink robe
Lip gloss, tight cornrows
Fresh flip flops, pedicure toes

You can be forgiven for not being able to vibe out to this song because of its lyrical content, but it's because of its lyrical content that I feel drawn to the song in the first place.  I had never heard of this particular track before and had never heard of the artist before either.  I had asked +Pikihuia L for a song request last week and she instantly named this song.  The first time I listened to the track, I must admit it took my ears by surprise, but in an exciting way that I hadn't heard new music in a long time.  It reminded me of the flashes of images that go through my mind when I hear new music; I don't know what to expect, I don't know where I will be taken and I let go of anything that I think it's supposed to be and just allow the sound to soak itself in me.  As soon as I played the opening bars of the song, it became very clear to me that I would be able to recognise how all of the elements worked together to produce a soundscape that I could feel myself seep into.

I just want to be clean
Keeping the flesh in between
Ripe like I'm 13

I've been feeling like a queen
I bought a globe, now the world is mine
Telescope and now I see the signs
The stars align, in front of my very own eyes
I'm the kind to open up my mind before I open my thighs
Can't f*** with that format, say your goodbyes (keep it movin, right along this way)

I imagine this song would be something that if you were a woman, you would play while you were relaxing in a hot bath after a long day, playing in your car as you took yourself off on a long drive somewhere out on the open road, or played in the background to provide some ambience at an intimate gathering with close friends.  Are you the kind of person to open your mind before you open your thighs?  I think we often engage in the physical too quickly, too often without engaging with people's hearts and minds, getting to know what sets people on fire and being able to see what ideas ignite their souls.  What do you see with your telescope?  What signs do you now see that you thought only you could see, maybe because you've trained yourself to see so vividly?

I just want to be me
Lotion my titties and lotion my feet
This great feat
I fight to blur the lines between dark and light

All skin is intimidating 
Reflecting power equally shared within
Quit the hating 
Such treasure could never be measured
Every day walking my head up 
Pointing my chin conscious of situations I'm placed in
All comments overcame
My mind vacant

I think women have all too often been made to feel ashamed of their bodies.  I'm not saying that you need to overtly be sexual about anything, but if you are comfortable in your skin and you are ok with showing it off in public, then go you.  Are you able to blur the lines between dark and light?  I think about whose dark and light are we talking about here?  Depending on what we are all going through in our individual lives, definitive and indefinable moments, it is all reflective of what we hope to be able to achieve on any given day.  Do we spend time being intimidated by situations that we find ourselves in, when we put ourselves out there and become strong enough and strong willed enough to expose our tough skins to help quit the hating that can threaten to overwhelm us, if we let it.  Being able to wear what you like, being able to wear what makes you feel good inside, is a daily exercise that can also be tempered by what you are expected to wear to conform, or expected to wear to help other people feel comfortable about themselves and where you fit within their landscape.  Why do we keep doing that to ourselves?

The vision came to me through a zephyr
Everything is light and whatever is whatever
Where is my lighter?

I've been rolling in trees
A little ashy
Nappy, happy
Limbs intact, doing dandy
Life is sweet
Fruits are the earth's candy
What would I do without Brandy, Fox, Kim and Missy
Patra and Erykah
Proof there can be more than one without replica
Truth in the booth you can read through my retina

More often than not, you will spend your entire life trying to help people see things from your perspective.  You will spend time trying to get them to understand whatever commonalities or similarities exist between you so that they can feel some sort of connection, some sort of bond that makes you less alien, less challenging and just less than whatever threat you might even accidentally pose.  Are you able to stand alongside other pioneers or other women who have never been afraid to be who they are?  They appear to be so staunch and uncompromising in who they are, what they stand for and able to spout their beliefs and values without pretending to be someone else.  It might pay to surround yourself with people who are without replica, that they are one of kind originals who help you to rise above the worst of who you are, help to bring out the best in you and help you to see your authentic self in a world that wants you to be as fake as possible, wants you to lower your standards so that you don't surpass or exceed expectations that never were.  I'm just saying that I won't be apologising anymore for what I see coming through my retina.

What's a world to do when the world's against you
Throw it in they face, let them know what you meant to
F***ing the mental while you stroking the soul
That's what you call f***king self control

I want to own my sanity
Minimize my vanity
My hair defying gravity
Melanin so high, opacity

It might take a long time for you to come to terms with your own sense of self and acknowledge that even when the world is against you, as long you are strong enough to stand for you, to stand up for yourself, be your biggest fan, isn't that enough for you to be able to sustain whatever injuries come your way and push through?  Are you able to own your own sanity?  What does that even mean for you?  Sometimes I think it means being able to be crazy in your own head without showing a single sliver of it to the world, like it never sees the light of day, because you are in control of what you choose to expose or repose.  What self control do you have?  I think as much as we think we know people, we probably only know about 30% of a person, because they only show us versions of themselves the rest of the time, or never show us who they really are inside, for fear of being rejected.

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine

Best believe it'll leave you blind, hopefully remind
Mankind, open up your mind
Show 'em the drive
Running deep in it from behind
'Till it touch the spine
Can't sleep and you can't recline
'Till you have arrived
Paradise where the soul resides makes a soldier cry

There should never be a time when you become complacent.  There is too much going on for you not to be a part of it and make your contribution felt.  What drive are you hoping to show others who will benefit from it most?  I think if we make the most of what gifts and talents we are given so that we are able to advance our current generation to build the next one coming through, this is the only way to build legacy leaders who we can safely and quietly affirm, relinquishing our control over things we cannot, because this is just the way the world has panned out right now, and nothing is ever as it seems.  Nothing is a sure thing anymore and I guess we just need to know what matters to us as people, know what is worth having a spine and backbone for, because it helps to define what we are about and how we want to operate in this realm.

Rest in peace, Bernie Mac
Rest in peace, Maya Angelou
Rest in peace, Kanye's mother

I hope that you get to a state of peace soon enough.
Why should we wait until we die before the life escapes our bodies and leaves us to rest in eternal peace with those lifeless bodies.  Trying not to be morbid here, just sharing some observations.  I hope that despite what life has to offer, what the world does to us sometimes, especially during the bad, sad and mad times rather than the glad times, that we are able to find peace somewhere.  Whether we are able to find peace in creating objects or experiences that bring us extreme joy, or become immersed in places and spaces that help to celebrate who we really are on the inside.  I know that this is what I will spend most of the time doing for you, because I will do whatever is in my power to do so to help you in this way, it's what we sign up for when we made promises to love, ourselves and the wider world.  This is something that I can do for you, as well as something I can do easily for me. . .