Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Fall at your feet. . .

When you can't help but fall at someone's feet. . . or you continue to fall at theirs. . . 

I'm really close tonight
And I feel like I'm moving inside her
Lying in the dark
An' I think that I'm beginning to know her
Let it go
I'll be there when you call

Have you ever felt close enough to someone that you felt that you could see inside their thoughts?
You might find yourself so far removed physically from their vicinity, but because you connect with them so well on planes that you're only just starting to explore, it is no wonder that it feels like you're moving inside them.  How do we know when we are beginning to really know someone?  Sometimes I think that when we are just starting to get to know people, we try to find commonalities that will broke some kind of connection.  We strive to find a semblance of sameness to make all the difference.

And whenever I fall at your feet 
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

The simplicity of the bass, drums and guitar during the verses make me think of the intimacy of what sits behind the lyrics.  The chorus however, brings other elements into the mix, such as the harmonies and background vocals, the rhythm guitar and piano that you almost miss if you don't strain your ears to hear the chords.  Most of the time when I write these blog posts, I focus solely on the lyrics and the meanings that sit behind them for me.  But for this particular blog post, the instrumentation is quite hypnotic for me, just as the lyrics are.  Have you experienced something similar in your world?  Have you felt tears falling from someone's face and land on you, when you are at their feet?  I imagine different scenarios that would bring someone to weep in such a way that ignores someone falling at their feet.  Have you been depleted like that?  That maybe you are gripped with some kind of inconsolable pain you just need to be able to push yourself through; no matter how well-intentioned people are to try and help you process what you are currently feeling.

You're hiding from me now
There's something in the way that you're talking
Words don't sound right
But I hear them all moving inside you
Go, I'll be waiting when I call

Do people know when you aren't saying what you really mean?  Do people know when you are hiding your true feelings, that you are choosing to only show them a smaller view of the actual entire composition of chaos that is actually your life.  Do you sometimes think if people really understood the level of crazy that is your life, they might never really talk to you again?  I am sure if you are an astute enough individual, you are able to listen carefully to people and really hear what words aren't coming from their mouths?  I think if you are able to really focus on how their mouth moves, what their eyes say when they are talking and what their voice sounds like when they are speaking - you should be able to hear the sincerity and genuineness in their voice.  If not, then they are better actors than you would like to think.

And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

I can understand why you would let your tears rain down, especially if someone keeps touching your slow turning pain.  Why do people do that?  Have you come across people who like to touch wounds that you are trying to heal?  Why do they enjoy making you suffer?  Does it make them feel better?  Sometimes you feel like your life is like a soap opera where it's drama after drama, sometimes because you've created it or people like to lay their dramas at your feet.  Is this why they fall at your feet?  Because you're probably the only person that is able to show sympathy when you should be showing tough love and be brave enough to have those tough conversations that might possibly end everything, completing change your world as you know it.

The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead

How can blame implode and indicate responsibility for itself in this way?  Does blame fall at its own feet in this way like seppuku, falling on its own sword?  Maybe you're just getting mixed message.  I mean, people can want you to be around and want your help, but not only can they not trust themselves around you in case they create even more dangerous situations or scenarios that threaten your safety, but you might not even be able to trust that you would want to be in that position, and struggle to know how to escape that.  I often think about what we would be able to do if we had knowledge in advance about certain situations - whether we would be able to advance or impede what happens.  It instantly transforms the event into an "almost happened" or a "never happened".  Very rarely are we afforded opportunities to explore options and construct the best outcomes for scenarios that show different pathways of things we never thought possible and things that are so convicted will happen.  There's just something about the utter confidence of knowing that doesn't allow anyone to dissuade you from destiny.

I fall
Whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I fall
Whenever I fall

I hope that whether you are someone falling at someone else's feet, or you're at the receiving end of people who always fall at your feet, just press pause.  It helps to decide whether what is happening is something that belongs to you - or belongs to someone else.  I think it helps to be mindful and present in the situations that you find yourself in.  Granted it might be a bit difficult to understand how to behave in situations that we have no control over.  Life isn't meant to be manipulated in that way, and most importantly, people are not meant to be either.  I guess you just need to know what leads you to fall, know what you look like when you are falling but most importantly, recognise what triggers that path.  Because even with all the planning, good intentions and treading with care - expect the unexpected, especially whenever I fall. . .