Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Don't miss you at all. . .

No, I really don't miss you at all. . . 

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin', laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

What do you do with memories that play back over and over in your mind?  Do they play because something in your current life triggers the memory and it plays?  A sudden whiff of a scent, a taste of something that you eat or a sound that instantly transports you to somewhere else in your distant past, does all of that help you to remember a smile that you are trying to forget?  Someone that you don't miss at all?  Maybe you really don't miss them, because they hurt you in some way or they've gone far away and you can't get to them anymore.

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see lights going dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

There might be moments where you don't see them again, but because you think of them, they could suddenly appear when you least expect them to.  Has this happened to you?  Those chance meetings, unplanned moments that make it seem too good to be true, why would they happen at all?  What distant memories do you have in your mind?  Are they stored and archived in specific periods of time, like you associate your personality with defining moments that came about through interactions with people you once cared about, people you were willing to give up or forgo because they didn't fit in with your master plan.  Is this why their dark eyes try to haunt you now, because you pushed those dark eyes away?


And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand

If we can go through life without having someone define us, that we don't need to be associated with someone, even if we were married or closely linked to another individual who the world seems to think we are bound with, does this make you wonder who you are without them?  When connections are severed we often think about who we are - what we are meant to see in the mirror staring back at us when relationships ends, when misunderstandings happen and fly so freely between people in awkward silences and in stilted conversations that you would rather not engage in, where once there were warm touches of hands, only cold absences of emptiness exists.  Society would have you believe that being on your own is a bad thing, that you need someone to complete you and help you to make sense of the world.  It's completely up to you how you choose things to be and more importantly, the you, that you would like to become.

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

Contemplation, reflection, meditation and edification are all important when you are considering how to watch the snow fallin' down.  You might not have experienced that conversation, might not know any other way than having warm touches of hands to comfort you. How will we learn resilience if we solely rely on the comfort of others to keep us warm?  Can we be brave and strong enough to create new spaces and niches to become who we want to be without adhering to conformity?  Is this why they say that something that doesn't conform is called deformed?  Conformed I imagine to mean something with shape.  Why should deformed mean something that is devoid of shape?  It's just in a shape that is not acceptable to society, to social norms that make rules that block people from being who they naturally are.  I guess it's during those times that I don't miss you at all, I don't miss you at all, I don't miss you at all. . .