Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Trust in you. . .

When all I need to do is trust in you. . . 

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I try to win this war I confess 
My hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, king of the fight
No matter what I face, You're by my side

I never knew what it meant to really take hold of my dreams until I had failed to reach them.  I held onto them so tightly for fear of having them not come true or not knowing what to do with myself should they slip through my grasp.  I smile to myself when I think about all of the distractions that I allow to take me away from my purpose and focus.  Because when I spend time away from what needs to get done, I will always be guided back to what I need to do.  I think about all of the biblical characters who were called to do some great feat that they thought was far beyond their calling, far beyond their human comprehension.  The true rest that we think we will find in this world, we never will.  I guess this is what they mean when they say that it is only when we die, that we will have eternal peace.  I'm not saying that we should be in a hurry to end our lives, but rather, we should live our lives to the fullest so that when it is our time to leave this earth, that we have done all that we could to help others and leave them better than we found them.  Fix the broken ones if you can, but know that they can only fix themselves in the long run.  It's the only for people to learn how to self generate in this current generation.

When you don't move the mountains
I'm needing you to move
When you don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don't give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you

Often what we want and what we are meant to do can be completely different things.
When we become still in the moment we find ourselves facing our toughest challenges, so we need to really focus on what it is that we are meant to decide.  When the universe doesn't bend to our will, is this because there are things that we are meant to do before things flow easily to its place and we arrive where we need to?  I sometimes think, if so many people cry out to You, what does that collection of voices sound like?  What is probably so deafening to us, must seem like music to Your ears.  Amidst all of the noise, You can probably make out each and every individual who seeks You in their hours of need.  Trust is such a hard thing to come by.  When people place trust in other humans to get by in life and then they are disappointed, it is no wonder that building trust again, gaining that trust that was betrayed can be really hard.  What progress you think you might have made, can seem to elude you again when you least expect it.



Truth is you know what tomorrow brings
There's not a day ahead you have not seen
So let all things be my life and breath
I want what you want Lord and nothing less

How many more times do we steer clear from You before we realise and come to know that being close to You is all we need to do?  I reflect sometimes when I am at my weakest point.  This could be when I have given so much and there is absolutely nothing left in the tank.  You go through cycles of self loathing because you're not really thinking at all about how much pain you are going through, but more that you hate seeing yourself like this and don't like what you see in the mirror.  As much as people see all of the trappings of your success and think that you're so lucky and that you have it made, they will never really know what you are going through because they don't really want to understand.  I have been having lots of conversations with friends, where they openly agree that people only want to find out things about you so that they can label you into categories that help them to make sense of who they think you are, rather than try to understand you for who you want to be.

You are the strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation
The rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There's not a place where I'll go
You've not already stood

Man being of the flesh, means that when we die, our flesh erodes and we cannot count on them being able to sustain us in our times of need.  We enter the world alone and we leave this world alone.  I don't mean to sound melancholy.  I'm just stating facts.  I think the older we get, we accept a certain amount of matter-of-factness that being a young child doesn't understand because there are so many possibilities.  It is important to know if you are able to believe in something greater than man; whether it be a higher being or other forces that aren't human to help you transcend out of your earthly form.  Being able to visualise where He has been and how He has survived those different planes, makes me hopeful for a future that we cannot begin to fathom right now.

When you don't move the mountains
I'm needing you to move
When you don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don't give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you
I will trust in you
I will trust in you
I will trust in you. . . 

I hope that my soul finds peace soon.
At my job people openly make jokes about me not having enough sleep and working so hard.  I don' expect them to understand how I live my life and what decisions I face or what I do for my family and people who rely on me.  They only see what they want to see anyway and that's perfectly fine.  Strong people shrug things off and carry on regardless of what is thrown at them.  What can you do right?  I think what you can do is not rage against the machine as much.  If you find yourself at a crossroads in your life, and wondering what you should be doing, take a moment to stand in that fork in the road and consider carefully what path to take.  Have a good long look about what is to come, try and see as far as possible what you are expected to undertake and what you are expected to sacrifice.  If things or people do not move the way you want them to, when you don't get the answers to your questions as quickly as you would like, just trust in the moment that in time all will be revealed.  As much as people will reassure you that they are there for you, sometimes those things can't be guaranteed.  So what can you do?  I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you. . .