Tuesday, 3 January 2017

Am I that easy to forget. . .

This blog post is a tribute to Debbie Reynolds. . . 

Before she was famously known as the mother of Princess Leia, Debbie Reynolds was a colossal star in her own right.  She carried on raising her two children when her husband left her to be with her friend Elizabeth Taylor.  It is easy to think that this song accurately sums up the situation that Debbie would have found herself in but I would like to think that she carried on living just fine without going through such a public spectacle at the time.  Her daughter Carrie Fisher made such a perfect joke about the consoling that her father did in her book.  Rest in peace Ms. Reynolds - you are missed.

They say you've found somebody new
But that won't stop my lovin' you
I just can't let you walk away
Forget the love I had for you

When love ends because someone decides that it is over, it might take some time for you to be able to adjust to the change in the situation.  What would you do?  Try and make them see sense and realise that they can't just give up everything that you accomplished together and give up on your love for them?  When does them walking away and you standing there taking them walking away start to be less painful?  When you want to keep remembering the love that you had for them but they have no qualms about turning their back on you and walking away? 

Guess I could find somebody too
But I don't want no one but you
How could you leave without regret?
Am I that easy to forget?

Then you start entertaining thoughts about finding somebody else in your life.  It is easy enough to try and make sense of something that isn't meant to make sense.  Love is a very messy and real thing that people forget involves real emotions (if you do it right, if you are honest and lay yourself vulnerable to truly experiencing love in all of its fullness).  When someone is able to walk away from you without regret, it is because they are patiently waiting for something else to happen or they are going to leave well enough alone.  If love is real and genuine, there will never really be anything that is forgotten.  



Before you leave be sure you find
You want her love much more than mine
'Cause I'll just say we've never met
If I'm that easy to forget

Pride will soon start rearing its head when you can no longer take the fact that the other person is willing to forget you.  Crazy thoughts fill your head and you start to question whether everything was real and if you had imagined all of what has passed, all of what has been conveniently stored away and never to be reopened.  You almost start to think that you have opened a Pandora's box if you decide to take one long last peek.  Nothing good can from it right now, so what do you do?  As my American professor says all the time - what can you do?  It always makes me question whether any course of action will be fruitful - but rather, it is easier to just sit on one's hands and not make a move at all.

Guess I could find somebody new
But I don't want no one but you
I couldn't leave without regret
You're not that easy to forget

What is the point in finding somebody new?  As a widow, it almost becomes the furthest thing from one's mind.  It isn't because you can't bear to live without your love anymore.  It might have more to do with not being able to fathom that there is a possibility of having another love like the one you have lost.  There is no way that you could experience unconditional love like that twice in your lifetime right?  I don't know if I want to keep my heart open.  I don't know if I want to let anybody in and why should I?  It is perfectly natural to be wary and not have to decide in no uncertain terms whether you want to have love again in your life.  

Before you leave be sure you find
You want her love much more than mine
'Cause I'll just say we've never met
If I'm that easy to forget

I hope that you will trust your heart to know what the right course of action will be.
We sometimes think that love is meant to be painful and make us do crazy things but no I disagree with that.  I'm not saying that it should be straight forward either. but I think once we stop doing drastic things and hide behind facades and walls that block us from actually being able to see what it is we actually want from other people, and even listening to what our hearts want from ourselves, before we demand it from others; you might be able to ask yourself am I that easy to forget. . .