Tuesday, 27 December 2016

One more try. . .

When you're not ready to give up just yet. . . 

I've had enough of danger
And people on the streets
I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't then just let me go

The value that you can place on real and meaningful connections is priceless. Yet the world would have you believe, at its worst, that such connections don't really matter, that instead the emphasis should be placed on the activities and events that people are caught up in, the movements and causes that we attach ourselves to, but neglect to really have real and meaningful connections with those who matter in our lives the most.  There is even much more emphasis placed on people who are famous to lend their voices or clout to things that can make a difference.  Good on them I say.  But even famous people have problems like ordinary folk and we must remember that success, wealth and fame do not necessarily guarantee love, hope or happiness.

'Cause teacher
There are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

When it comes to lessons in love, who has taught you these lessons?  They might not have even come from the objects of your affections, but instead have stemmed from the most unlikely of sources, and even more unlikely - yourself.  What lessons have you been explicitly taught?  What lessons have you learned implicitly because you were hurt?  There is an expectation that love brings with it all of the joy, peace and happiness that one hopes to hold in one's life, to make one's life extremely fulfilling and warm, to permeate through all occasions that may even detract from that happiness, stall it even, we continue to seek the joy that eludes us when we think we need it the most.

When you were a stranger
And I was at your feet
I didn't feel the danger
Now I feel the heat
That look in your eyes
Telling me no
So you think that you love me
Know that you need me
I wrote the song, I know it's wrong
Just let me go

I think the most interesting lessons in love emerge when there is completely no sense of timing where a situation is exactly where it needs to be or should be, there is in fact a total sense of love being incomplete. What does it mean when we know that something is completely incomplete?  What are we meant to do with that?  When we love someone and they don't love us back, or they might love us but we realise it's not a good idea to love them back or maybe we do love each other but it's just the wrong time.  What needs to happen then?

So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're not that strong
Let me go

That complete mismatch exists all too often.  When relationships end, you can't even begin to analyse what went wrong until all feelings about the situation have been processed, where you are able to step back quite easily and see your part in that context without bias.  Have we confronted ourselves in the mirror with the honesty that we needed to truly understand ourselves?  We might have figured out different ways of being since the relationship or connection has ended in order to continue living the life that we have created for ourselves in the now.  We might still continue to stay connected but instead have found alternative ways of communicating that even though things are never really addressed, resolved or even said, but you have arrived at a comfortable enough space, at an agreed plateau where you have decided that it is ok to be comfortably uncomfortable.  There are so many grey spaces now.  Nothing is as black and white as people would believe.

And teacher
There are things that I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because there ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Who just isn't willing to try

What makes us stop trying?  When do we decide that enough attempts have been made?  Could it be as easy as they do in sporting competitions such as in track and field, those field events in particular where there are an agreed number of attempts that you can make that weed out the competition, that whittles down all of those suitors who would dare try to compete for your affections, until a clear victor emerged.  Would that be easier?  It shouldn't be this hard to be happy, because happiness stems from what you are willing to emanate to the world from within yourself.  You shouldn't need to miss someone that bad, because you should have hope that things are what they are meant to be.  If you are unwilling to try right now, then it might be a good idea to shift your focus elsewhere and improve all other areas of your life so that you prepare yourself for what is to come.

I'm so cold inside
Maybe just one more try. . . 

I hope that when we are ready to try anything, it doesn't need to be when we are ready to engage in our feelings about love, it could be any number of significant things that you are struggling to gain a handle on at the moment - I mean, you could even do a stocktake of the year that was and hone in on what you know needs developing, what areas you would like to strengthen within yourself and explore how to transform your weaknesses into the strengths that you know you were always meant to show.  Even if you do feel cold inside, why not just go for it, you never know what you could achieve with maybe just one more try. . .