Sunday, 11 December 2016

I didn't plan it . . .

When you didn't even plan your best laid plans or your best laid plans are the best unplanned. . . 

Go ahead throw your rocks at me
From your little glass house
And then take off running
You're no better than me
We've both made mistakes intentionally

When you recall the moments in your life where you have had disagreements, arguments or fights with people, can you remember the words that were said or actions that played out?  We can often blame each other for things that happened, but timing never quite makes it right or maybe it's perfect timing gone wrong because we catch the tail end of things like a bad comedy of errors.  Maybe you made mistakes on purpose to test or check what was happening - to see if any of it was all real.  Why do we play games like that anyway?

And I won't do what you keep doing
Sitting in judgement of a house I ruined
I don't claim to be proud but
My head won't be hung in shame
I didn't plan it
But the light turned red and I ran it
And I'm still standing
It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here

Are things as simple as saying it was a case of it felt so good, it can't have been wrong?  Regrets may plague your life because any choices you make that hurt people are eventualities that you didn't account for.  Sometimes when you focus a lot on your own feelings, you forget to consider what's going on for others around you.  What houses have you ruined?  When we don't mean for things to happen, but they do, how do recover from it?  There are always difficult lessons to be learned and we may choose to see them for what they are or completely ignore them and stay in denial.  But we all know what happens when we choose denial.  Things just keep popping up until you admit defeat and concede; finally admit to what you need to accept in order to move on.  It's not an easy road is it?  In fact, it's a less travelled one, but one worth taking if you are keen to get to where you need to be.

I understand it
A story written by my own hand
It's life biting right at your heels
I didn't plan it
But it's finally something to feel

When was the last time you ever really felt anything?  When people talk about or ask others 'how do you feel'? - I sometimes think that's probably the most asked and yet misunderstood questions of all time.  We can ask people how they feel and they can choose to lie to us - and tell us things are ok.  They might decide to tell us the truth and give us a sense of how things really are, go into too much detail, and completely put us off ever asking them that question again (whether they intended for that to happen or not is another story altogether).  What stories written by your own hand are you willing to read aloud?  There might be stories that you know should never see the light of day.  There might be stories that you're quite willing to broadcast for all and sundry.  I guess it depends on why you would want to do such a thing.  Do you want to go incognito or do you prove a point and explain yourself?

Look around you
Ain't no saints here baby
We're just all looking for a little less crazy
And sometimes it's a hard left turn
Down a road you'd never thought you'd see
Don't you think dealing blame is a hazard
I'm not the only one whose dark side has her

Would you like your life to be a little less crazy?  It's simple enough to fix.  To eliminate the craziness from your life, there are few things you need to remember.  Here's a brief list to start you off:
1) stay away from crazy people i.e. people who make your life more chaotic than it needs to be
2) stay away from crazy ideas i.e. these tend to stem from number 1, so if you did number 1, this wouldn't be here and 3) stay away from crazy drama that you don't need to attract into your life.  But rather than blaming others for the craziness that might exist for you, try thinking about what your role is, within all of this chaos.  Do you let your dark side come out to play more than you should?  The thing about your dark side is that if you let it come to light too many times, it might eclipse your light.  It's bad enough when others try to dim your light, but when you do it to yourself, then the only one to blame is yourself.

I didn't plan it
Taking back what's been taken for granted
'Cause I can't stand it
I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free
I needed saving
And a good mistake needed making
Maybe you needed the same thing

There must come a point in your life when you decide, the merry go round has gone on long enough and it's time to finally get off the ride.  If you find yourself going in circles like this, where history repeats and you can't tell when something begins or when something ends, it is definitely time to take stock of what you intend to do.  What things have been taken for granted in your life?  Has someone taken you for granted?  We often create barriers to block ourselves, blame others for constructing these barriers, but it's how situations play themselves out.  Every action has a reaction.  Every reaction creates a chain reaction.  I sometimes laugh and think if you're going to make mistakes, you might as well make some pretty spectacular ones so that you know emphatically that they are mistakes.  Maybe if we focused less on saving other people, we could save ourselves in the process, maybe even save ourselves first for a change.

I didn't plan it
Taking back what's been taken for granted
I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free
I didn't plan it
But it's finally something to feel
Something to feel. . . 

I hope that you take back what's been taken for granted in your life.
In the act of waiting for things to happen, we don't realise that the power to move and power to make the necessary changes within our lives was inside us the whole time.  Are you going to wait to live your best life?  I think the only thing you should try to plan is how to feel again.  I think that's probably where I'm at right now, where I am in this moment.  There are probably equal parts of things that I know for sure, and things that I don't know, but maybe that's a good thing.  I didn't plan it, but it's finally something to feel, something to feel. . .