Thursday, 1 December 2016

For myself. . .

I write this and smile . . . for myself. . . 

What does destiny hold for you?  It's the greatest thing to have in life - no, not love.  Although love is important.  I'm talking about hope.  If hope was a person, it would always anticipate meeting me around the corner of a building and jump out to surprise me and hug me.  That thought always makes me laugh.  Hope would hug me and we'd hold each other tight and laugh about all the other times that she (yes, she is a she, naturally) pleasantly surprised me too, especially when I thought that I had lost her, when I had lost all hope.  I guess this is why hope is so important to me.  I can shape shift into Hope for others too.  Is this why I can be Hope personified?  I'm excited about the endless possibilities.  I'm excited to listen to people around me who easily share things that they never shared out loud.  

For myself
I must learn for myself
Not from what someone else
Has said or done
And so I live my life
From day to day
Try to smile
While feeling my way
Just like a child

It is only natural that we look to others to help inspire us, keep us motivated and to learn from them about how to be better people ourselves.  But we must not forget that we can learn so much from ourselves, by looking inwards.  What do I hope to learn about myself?  Anything and everything really.  I think we spend too much time trying to hide our true selves, concealing our authentic selves.  Irrespective of whether people understand you or not, what can you hope to achieve in a day?  How do you choose to live each day?  People may ask you - how's your day?  Did you have a good day?  You may decide to be as open or as closed as possible. Depending on your closeness with that person you may choose to reveal as much or as little as possible.  There are people that may come across as being genuine, but then are not.  Do you know how to deal appropriately with them?  There's nothing worse than having to put on a face to combat disingenuous people.  Smiling more often is a good start.  Keep a memory bank on constant play in your mind as you go about your day.  It's important to smile and cherish or relish really wonderful memories - it's what I have learned to do for myself.

For myself
I must learn for myself
The future that someone else
May say will come
May never be
What destiny holds for me
Let me see 
For myself!

When you think about your life, everyone is a critic.  It's like if someone filmed you and what goes on in your life, I imagine there to be some kind of director's cut DVD commentary about the scenes that you star in.  People with good intentions may praise you and say really lovely stuff about all the gifts and talents that you have, how you make them feel in their lives.  I had a Christmas work function last night and I had a couple of colleagues tell me that they remembered vividly some conversations that we had throughout the year that resonated with them.  I am always grateful for being of service to others and when people say that I have a big and bright future, it can often be difficult to hear because you grapple with the humility and modesty that you have been raised to know.  But I have never really had a doom and gloom outlook on my life either.  What about you?  I'm not saying I'm a Pollyanna by any stretch of the imagination, because it's also important to be realistic or have a reality check.  But I guess I'm more of a dreamer than a realist and I've been able to take what I have dreamed and convert these into reality.  That's the exciting part.  What do you see for yourself? What will come and what will never be?

All I can do is continue to hope.  Or continue to be Hope personified.  I guess when I lose hope, she finds me, hugs me, then morphs into me, becomes part of who I am.  I guess that's what destiny holds for me.  That's what hope lets me see for myself. . .