Thursday, 29 December 2016

Freedom. . .

This blog post is a song request by Rachel Vaipa. . . 

Continuing with the tribute to George Michael this week (tomorrow I will feature a Debbie Reynolds track, still trying to make sense of her sudden passing as well!), this song is one that I remember from my childhood, not the music video, but definitely the song.  The 60s inspired track with the steady drum beat, the characteristic stepwise motion of the bass line in the verses which become more adventurous in the chorus with larger intervals, is complemented well by the horn section and background vocals.  Live performances will show female backup singers but the track features Michael on the vocals quite prominently.

Everyday I hear a different story
People say that you're no good for me
"Saw your lover with another and she's making a fool of you"

I don't know about you, but people can be overly curious about your relationship or some significant other in your life.  If you don't really show that side of yourself at your job because you choose to be professional and keep things separate, that's totally your prerogative.  If you're the type to openly mention and show pictures of your partner to all and sundry, then that's still totally your prerogative.  I guess it's when rumours come back to you that are circulating because people have set ideas about how your relationship should roll.  Of course, things may never be as black and white as they seem.  Nobody ever really knows what's going on in other people's lives, so just bear in mind what you may think you know, may in fact, be completely off the mark.  Who's the fool then?

If you loved me baby you'd deny it
But you laugh and tell me I should try it
Tell me I'm a baby, and I don't understand

When we don't come to an agreement about what the truth is in a relationship or connection, then we have actually arrived at an impasse.  The focus stays fixed on who is right rather than moving forward with any sort of progress and making strides (lengthen them if you wish), and working together to cherish the time well spent.  Instead we let ego get in the way, we play silly mind games and lose sight of the bigger picture - what are we actually trying to achieve here?  Will I be better off or worse in entertaining this relationship or connection? Accusations may continue to fly and you have a decision to make - whether to accept what you have been accused of or make efforts to rectify the situation and stand up for yourself.  Why do we waste time not being real and authentic?  Why do we hide our authentic selves?

But you know that I'll forgive you
Just this once, twice, forever
'Cause baby, you could drag me to hell and back
Just as long as we're together
And you do

Forgiveness once given, brings peace of mind to the giver, but also complete exoneration from the guilt that they should be carrying for actions taken that have created this dynamic of victim and oppressor.  What have you done when you have forgiven someone?  Have you let things slide and let things go back to some sort of easy way of being again?  Pick up where you left off?  Pretend that you didn't get trampled all over the show?  You might forgive. but you won't forget.  So it's important to remember that trust is something once lost, may take time to restore.  What are you prepared to do in order to regain the trust of someone who you value and know their worth?

I don't want your freedom
I don't want to play around
I don't want nobody baby
Part time love just brings me down
I don't need your freedom
Girl all I want right now is you

If you don't want their freedom, then what do you really want?  If you don't want them to spend every waking minute with you and yet you don't want them to play around either, how will this work?  Part time love, no matter how glamorous or exciting it might seem to be, is never as glamorous or exciting as people make it out to be.  There is an emptiness and vacant space where your heart is meant to operate while you are in that space.  How will you convince the object of your affection that you will be content with only just having them?  No strings attached and no other package deals put together?

Like a prisoner who has his own key
But I can't escape until you love me
I just go from day to day knowing all about the other boys
You take my hand and tell me I'm a fool to give you all that I do
I bet you someday baby someone says the same to you

I hope that you won't torture yourself too much with the seemingly overload of clarity that you are gaining in your life.  If you are a prisoner with your own key, then you are your own worst enemy aren't you?  Why do we do this to ourselves?  We tend to overthink, over complicate matters and make things worse for everyone affected.  Do we not think too much (or not enough) about what needs to be done, so that we can avoid situations like in the future?  When we accept our destiny for what it is and don't question or doubt it, we will be able to live in our present moments much more easily.  Why do we give all that we are to others?  It's human nature I guess.  It's what we do when we're in love.  And I bet you someday baby someone says the same to you. . . 

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

I knew you were waiting for me. . .

This blog post is a tribute to Carrie Fisher. . . 

Like a warrior that fights
And wins the battle
I know the taste of victory
Though I went through some nights
Consumed by the shadows
I was crippled emotionally

As I write this blog post, another legend has left this earthly plane, ready to join the stars that made her famous - Carrie Fisher.  Her light in this world extinguished just as we near the end of the year.  She had many battles and fights throughout her life that we have been lucky enough to read about in her writing or hear about in her various television interviews throughout the years.  When I think about her extraordinary life, with parents who have always been in the public eye, she really didn't have much of a choice but to join the family business.  She has talked about the struggles of being a woman, her bipolar disorder and has used her time being consumed by the shadows and being crippled emotionally to help others get through their own struggles.

Somehow I made it through the heartache
Yes I did, I escaped
I made my way out of the darkness, 
Kept my faith, I know you did
Kept my faith

Her love life had a lot of ups and downs, but when has anybody had smooth sailing in matters of the heart?  I think the adventures that people can have in love is totally dependent on how much you put into it, and how much you are prepared to lay your vulnerability down, to bare all; your heart, soul and mind to someone that you want to spend your life with.  When you escape relationships that no longer resemble the love that you thought you had, what do you do?  I guess the only thing you can do is keep the faith that when love is lost that it is because it has run its course and there will be people who will be there to support you once you accept that.

When the river was deep I didn't falter
When the mountain was high, I still believed
When the valley was low, it didn't stop me no no
I knew you were waiting, I knew you were waiting for me

I am a firm believer in understanding how we can tap into the deepest corners of ourselves and still coming out on top.  When we are able to conquer obstacles that come our way and get through to the other side, it might be because we had someone encouraging us who had already reached the other side before us.  Do you have a good enough support crew who is able to coax you along, keep you motivated and focused on where you need to spend your energy?  I think I have always been someone to wait for others and push them along to achieve their personal best.  Part of that is because they ask me to or I see something in others that needs to be realised.  Potential I think we call it.

With an endless desire, I kept on searching
Sure in time our eyes would meet
And like the bridge is on fire, the hurt is over 
One touch and you set me free

On the flip side though, when you are on a quest, you always think that you are spending time trying to find someone to accompany you.  But what if the person that was meant to be waiting for you, is actually just an elaborate journey of self discovery?  When we accept that the only thing all along that we have been waiting for is actually our inner selves to grow and blossom, to take the seeds that are planted deep inside during dark times that are now ready to bloom - then you can set yourself free.

I don't regret a single moment
Looking back
When I think of all those disappointments
I just laugh, I just laugh

We can never have any regrets.  We can play alternate endings over and over in our heads or even replay our favourite scenes which are now memories in our minds, but what is the purpose in looking back?  We should only look back to see how much we have grown and how far we have come.  We can laugh about things now that in the past would've been earth-shatteringly difficult to bounce back from, but we soon realise that there are better things and people to focus our energy on - namely yourself.  What disappointments do you continue to focus on?  Don't waste time and energy on what didn't work or what was taken away from you.  Instead laugh at those moments because we can transform those disappointments into laughter every time.

So we were drawn together through destiny
I know this love we share was meant to be
I knew you were waiting, I knew you were waiting
I knew you were waiting for me. . . 

I hope that are able to live your destiny.
As we come to the end of 2016, think about and reflect on what you have achieved or received.
Are you satisfied with how things have gone?  What more would you like to achieve or receive before we face the new year ahead?  I am grateful for the example of life shown by Carrie Fisher.  She has said some pretty cool things that I think as a woman will help me into the next phase of my life, the next decade of my life. She has once famously said "I don't want my life to imitate art, I want my life to be art".  Thanks for the all of the wonderful memories Ms. Fisher.  I see you're now drowning in moonlight and strangled by your own bra.  I feel like we were drawn together through destiny. . . 

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

One more try. . .

When you're not ready to give up just yet. . . 

I've had enough of danger
And people on the streets
I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't then just let me go

The value that you can place on real and meaningful connections is priceless. Yet the world would have you believe, at its worst, that such connections don't really matter, that instead the emphasis should be placed on the activities and events that people are caught up in, the movements and causes that we attach ourselves to, but neglect to really have real and meaningful connections with those who matter in our lives the most.  There is even much more emphasis placed on people who are famous to lend their voices or clout to things that can make a difference.  Good on them I say.  But even famous people have problems like ordinary folk and we must remember that success, wealth and fame do not necessarily guarantee love, hope or happiness.

'Cause teacher
There are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

When it comes to lessons in love, who has taught you these lessons?  They might not have even come from the objects of your affections, but instead have stemmed from the most unlikely of sources, and even more unlikely - yourself.  What lessons have you been explicitly taught?  What lessons have you learned implicitly because you were hurt?  There is an expectation that love brings with it all of the joy, peace and happiness that one hopes to hold in one's life, to make one's life extremely fulfilling and warm, to permeate through all occasions that may even detract from that happiness, stall it even, we continue to seek the joy that eludes us when we think we need it the most.

When you were a stranger
And I was at your feet
I didn't feel the danger
Now I feel the heat
That look in your eyes
Telling me no
So you think that you love me
Know that you need me
I wrote the song, I know it's wrong
Just let me go

I think the most interesting lessons in love emerge when there is completely no sense of timing where a situation is exactly where it needs to be or should be, there is in fact a total sense of love being incomplete. What does it mean when we know that something is completely incomplete?  What are we meant to do with that?  When we love someone and they don't love us back, or they might love us but we realise it's not a good idea to love them back or maybe we do love each other but it's just the wrong time.  What needs to happen then?

So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're not that strong
Let me go

That complete mismatch exists all too often.  When relationships end, you can't even begin to analyse what went wrong until all feelings about the situation have been processed, where you are able to step back quite easily and see your part in that context without bias.  Have we confronted ourselves in the mirror with the honesty that we needed to truly understand ourselves?  We might have figured out different ways of being since the relationship or connection has ended in order to continue living the life that we have created for ourselves in the now.  We might still continue to stay connected but instead have found alternative ways of communicating that even though things are never really addressed, resolved or even said, but you have arrived at a comfortable enough space, at an agreed plateau where you have decided that it is ok to be comfortably uncomfortable.  There are so many grey spaces now.  Nothing is as black and white as people would believe.

And teacher
There are things that I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because there ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Who just isn't willing to try

What makes us stop trying?  When do we decide that enough attempts have been made?  Could it be as easy as they do in sporting competitions such as in track and field, those field events in particular where there are an agreed number of attempts that you can make that weed out the competition, that whittles down all of those suitors who would dare try to compete for your affections, until a clear victor emerged.  Would that be easier?  It shouldn't be this hard to be happy, because happiness stems from what you are willing to emanate to the world from within yourself.  You shouldn't need to miss someone that bad, because you should have hope that things are what they are meant to be.  If you are unwilling to try right now, then it might be a good idea to shift your focus elsewhere and improve all other areas of your life so that you prepare yourself for what is to come.

I'm so cold inside
Maybe just one more try. . . 

I hope that when we are ready to try anything, it doesn't need to be when we are ready to engage in our feelings about love, it could be any number of significant things that you are struggling to gain a handle on at the moment - I mean, you could even do a stocktake of the year that was and hone in on what you know needs developing, what areas you would like to strengthen within yourself and explore how to transform your weaknesses into the strengths that you know you were always meant to show.  Even if you do feel cold inside, why not just go for it, you never know what you could achieve with maybe just one more try. . . 

Monday, 26 December 2016

Don't let the sun go down on me. . .

This blog post is a tribute to George Michael

If you were a child of the 80s like me, then chances are you are very familiar with the music of George Michael.  I first came across his music when he was part of Wham! and as a child you don't really take notice of social cues that would later suggest he would come out.  It was never a problem for me when he did reveal his big secret and it hasn't really affected me since.  The media have always liked to sensationalise and report news that celebrities and artists have chosen to keep private for their own reasons.  I was just a fan of his music, his voice and just how fun hearing his music made every occasion.  I'm sure all George Michael fans around the world feel the same way.  You all know where you were when you danced to your favourite track.

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

When people expect you to continually be the source of light for their world, it can of course and quite naturally be a tired time for you, leaving you with little else for yourself.  If you shine constantly for others and the steal all of your light, how will you know when you need to shine for yourself?  An ex boss of mine used to talk all the time about the ladder, particularly rungs of a ladder and how we aren't meant to be on those rungs for long, but to keep advancing higher; that we only stand on those rungs long enough for us to climb somewhat higher.  Do you find yourself frozen on the ladder of your life?

It's much late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my me
aning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

When you meet people, they may set about trying to find labels to place you under so that they understand you.  Surely this must be what "understand" means right?  That's the definition of understanding?  We should be standing under labels that society places us under, or our work colleagues or people that entrust us to do things for them, like family or friends who have done things for us over the years.  Do people often misread how you have changed their way of life?  Do you think they understand what it means once those changes start to happen?  Maybe this is what is meant by the falling that we experience when we help others?  To maintain that balance, when we help others, to lift them somewhat higher, we must sacrifice our position on the ladder to counter the shift.  It's not something that should happen, surely there are other ways around it, around how we can collectively progress together, but this is what society teaches us.  This is how we get blinded by the light.

Don't let the sun go down on me

Although I search myself it's always someone else I see
I just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

Why do you think we see different people when we are searching for ourselves?  Is this because we haven't yet learned to fully focus on ourselves?  We tend to be easily distracted by people who want our attention or wish to be saved by us, or need us to make them feel better.  If you do this often. do you wonder if maybe the people you are helping are not really aware of what has been happening the entire time, and therefore you're not really helping them at all?  I remember a meme floating around about someone called an askhole.  This is somebody who comes to you for advice constantly, doesn't listen, and then does whatever they want anyway.  The right response is to stop giving advice and guidance because they will just go and do what they please.

Ladies and gentleman Mr. Elton John
I can't find
Oh the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me baby don't
Just because you think I mean you harm
Just because you think I mean you harm no
But these cuts I have, cuts I have
They need love
They need love to help me heal

Are you strong enough to let others heal, even when they have been the cause or the source of your pain?  It might take extra strength and resolve on your part to push aside the ego that threatens to rule over what you know in your heart you must do, but hey, you need to heal too.  I find that when you know people really well, you can usually tell by their facial expressions or body language what thoughts are running through their head, what lies beneath what they see but refuse to disclose.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  If we were completely honest about how we feel, minus the ego, we would be able to move forward and pursue what we needed to do to improve ourselves.  I don't believe there is no line more romantic than one that is honest and deeply rooted in the truth of one's heart.

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself it's always someone else I see
I just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

What fragments of your life need to wander free?  I guess this is what we can spend our lifetime trying to figure out isn't it?  To try and understand ourselves so well, rather than rely on other people's perceptions of who we are.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's totally acceptable that people can form an  opinion of you based on personal interactions.  I have never been a fan of going along with what other people think about someone just because of their experience with them.  That whole approach is very schoolyard and childish, but sadly, something that I continue to see in adult contexts.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Sometimes I think we're so scared to wander free for ourselves because we spend too much criticising and making comments about those who aren't scared to wander free.

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself it's always someone else I see
I just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I hope that we all at least lose everything at some point in our lives.  I say this because we can't understand what success should feel like for us, if we aren't able to experience what it's like to not have anything of value.  We don't learn how to value what is important until it is no longer there.  What does everything mean to you?  Losing everything would be like being in shadows all the time, being stuck in darkness that keeps us in constant shade when we should be able to feel the sun on our skins and feel the warmth that having everything means.  If you feel yourself starting to lose everything, be aware of why you are losing it.  Maybe it means that you need to lose it all now, so that it can be gained later, or it's not yours to gain right now anyway.

Thanks George Michael for all of your wonderful music.
This beautiful duet with Sir Elton John is just one example of collaboration that the world has had the pleasure of enjoying.  I look forward to writing more blog posts this week honouring your contribution to the realm of popular music.  Even though the world may feel like losing you has felt like the sun going down on us, I am grateful in that we have been able to allow a fragment of your life to wander free. . . 

Saturday, 24 December 2016

All I want for Christmas is you. . .

Merry Christmas everyone. . . hope you get what you want this year :-)

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is you

It's been great to see how all my friends and family are celebrating Christmas here in Aotearoa New Zealand.  As much as I love spending time with friends and family during the holiday season, I like spending time alone to contemplate and reflect on what has happened since last Christmas - and there has been a lot that has happened.  I haven't really been much of a 'presents' person when it comes to Christmas (don't get me wrong, I appreciate gifts that come in all forms) but the focus for me has always been about the memories made with people.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace 
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day

How do you spend your Christmas Day?  Today I had a quiet time today with my parents.  All my siblings are overseas but we had Christmas calls from them so that was nice.  What makes you happy on Christmas Day?  You might think that you know what doesn't make you happy.  Most of the time you would know what's missing that makes you happy much more easily than what does.  I think the older I get I will probably like more peace at Christmas time, which I have been very lucky to be able to have lately which is great.  Thinking about those people who are no longer in this world that I would like to spend Christmas with, makes me reminisce about Christmases of the past that have wonderful memories attached to them.

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is you

If there are people that you want for your own, you should be able to tell them.  If they already know, that's great.  Sometimes we don't have words to articulate our feelings so we rely on actions, which is also great.  What are some things that people have done to show you that they care for you?  It might be on different scales - small gestures or grand gestures.  I guess the other person wants you to understand that they care and should know you well enough to know which type of gestures you respond favourably to - small or grand.  What wish would you most like to come true?

I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake
To hear those magic reindeer click

What lists do you have about choices that you make that require some deep consideration?  You might be contemplating a big move somewhere for a change of scene, you might be considering a new job?  You might even be considering a significant change in your circumstances that you've always thought about but never said aloud.  There is definitely something magical and mystical about Christmas.  Even if you don't believe in the power of the birth of Christ or what Santa Claus can do, are you open to accepting something greater than yourself?

'Cause I just want you here tonight 
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Oh baby all I want for Christmas is you

The acceptance that comes from knowing where things are, the state of things in your life, together with were you stand with others and your connections with them is important.  What are you prepared to hold on tight to and what are you prepared to let go of?  There might be people or things that are clutching tightly to you and you don't know how to respond other than by holding on just as tight.  But holding tightly onto something that isn't there, has eroded over time or has just simply been vacant for a while, has been empty for some time - why do we continue to look for what isn't there?

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air

There's nothing that quite eclipses the sound of children's laughter.  I think this is why Jesus said to his disciples at one point not to deny the children who came to Him, as it is the meekness of children and their innocence that shows us how to gain entry to heaven and also show us what angels are like.  Do you spend enough time around children?  If you don't, make time to connect with the little humans in your life, or volunteer for a charity organisation that benefits children so that you can see what wonder looks like in their eyes and what we used to be like before we let the world and its ugliness pervade our lives.

And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me
The one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me quickly

I don't know if Santa has ever brought me anything that I wanted.  I didn't grow up in a household where Santa was a main feature of the household during Christmas time.  We knew that Jesus was the reason for the season and knew all the major players in the nativity scene.  I think I had a childhood fear of Santa thanks to my father.  There was a huge Santa that stood above a major department store that was then moved to the top of a major bookstore in the middle of the city.  I nicknamed him Scanta (Scary Santa).

I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just wanna see my baby
Standing right outside my door

There have been a few family members that have dropped around and visited my parents today.  I see how much they enjoy visitors that come around to the house and spend time talking to them.  I remember as a child talking to my grandparents and other people's grandparents and how much I enjoyed hearing them regale me with stories of their youth and the things they did when they were my age.  I could vividly see what they described in my mind and it was always fascinating for me to see them in a different light and see how their eyes and smiles lit up as they remembered stories that they had thought they had forgotten.  Have you opened your door to people this Christmas?  I know I said that I like to spend Christmas alone, and I do.  But if people drop by the house, then that's cool too.  I deliberately don't make plans because I think if people want to see you, they will just stand right outside your door.

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is you

I hope that whoever you are spending time with this Christmas, wherever you are in the world, that you are happy.  I have a dear friend that sends me Christmas cards each year without fail of her family.  I know it's Christmas when I receive a family photo from the lovely +Natalie Faitala. When people make the time and effort to send you a thoughtful gesture, all I can send back is my gratitude and hearfelt prayers for peace and goodwill.  So what is my Christmas wish this year?  Even with my beautiful Loma gone, all I want for Christmas is you and your family to be happy :-)

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Dream on dreamer . . .

When we let the mundane tasks of everyday life get in the way of our hopes and dreams. . . 

Dream on dreamer life gets in your way
Dream on dreamer life gets in your way

We all know that it's important to be pragmatic and to address the tasks at hand that have the greatest demand.  Usually those tasks are associated with people who rely on you for those tasks to be completed, whether they are people in your family or people that you work with or even strangers that you don't know when you line up for something and you're participating in the natural order of how things work.  Are you a checklist type of person?  You might have an endless list of things that you need to complete and when you glance at the list you might be overwhelmed by the sheer length of it and who you would be disappointing if you didn't complete or check off those items on the list.  You need to ask yourself - does completing any of the items on this list give me happiness?

There you go day and night
Up in the clouds flying so high
You try your best to stretch your mind
Beyond reality and sense and rhyme 
You see things that make your big heart sing
Like the flowers trees and birds and pretty things
Hate to put your two feet on the ground
You like to step aside
And release yourself and fly

In this festive season, I think it's completely natural to be thinking about your dreams, hopes and aspirations that you have.  I say this because the feeling of happiness that you can generate within yourself and thereby sharing this with people you love and care about - will just ensure that your happiness grows and your dreams become closer to reality.  We might have had a tough year this year and spent too much time with our feet on the ground and not enough time entertaining the possibility of other opportunities, in a land where things don't make sense because our reality demands precision and that things make sense.  Just release yourself and fly.

Dream on dreamer life gets in your way
If the life you live is a spinning top of pain then you can
Dream on dreamer life gets in your way
If ya live to learn you'll be lucky one day

I think this is probably what incarcerated people have done.  When they are in prison they need to develop the mental toughness to escape the spinning top of pain they might be experiencing on the inside being denied their freedom.  There might be prisoners who know no other way of life and prefer to reoffend upon release so that they can go back to the only life they've known.  This is what happens when we take to heart the lessons of conformity that society dishes out to us - the lessons of stereotypes that label us negatively, choosing to push us down in order for others to rise and tell us what to do.  If we focus on learning how best to counteract that within ourselves, in whatever contexts and spaces that we occupy, we can make a difference to our world, even when we think we can't.

Now the paisley pages of your mind
Are so complete like seeing colours black and white
Do you realise that you look so spaced out
You've made your peace with the need to be free
Without a doubt
Yeah I frown 'cause something don't look right
It's the twinkly twinkle start that's in your eyes
Hate to put your two feet on the ground
You like to step aside
And release yourself and fly

How do you deal with people that insist that you conform to their reality?  I would advise that you ask yourself what kind of reality you want for yourself.  Despite all of the restrictions or boundaries that you think you need to operate in, the details can totally be decided by you, if you choose and believe in your design.  When we listen to people who have no dreams, hopes or aspirations of their own, but yet they are quick to judge our own - we need to be real and understand that the best thing is to distance ourselves from such people. or at least no longer engage directly with them.  We can help them as much as we can, to get to a state of realisation where they can what they need to do for themselves, before we resume with our own destiny.  Bear in mind, ain't nobody got time to waste time.

Dream on dreamer life gets in your way
If the life you live is a spinning top of pain then you can
Dream on dreamer life gets in your way
If ya live to learn you'll be lucky one day

What I love about dreams is that you only need to dream about it once before you work to put it into action.  Have you ever had a recurring dream?  I've had some recurring dreams and they seem to carry a message for me from my subconscious, because obviously these are things that I carry with me in the back of mind that surface when I am asleep.  We can probably recall these dreams if we focus really hard, but recurring dreams give us secret messages about destiny and our calling that we must play close attention to.

Over over over and over
Over over over and over
Over over over and over
Over over over and over

I hope that you never lose sight of your dreams, hopes and aspirations.
It is important to keep them alive because without them, we cannot sustain ourselves through the daily mundane tasks.  We don't know when things will manifest themselves, but that's the exciting part.  As long as we keep working towards what we believe in our heart is the calling that is meant only for us, there is no need for life to get in our way.  I went to visit my late husband's grave today.  I wanted to avoid the Christmas rush of families all over the cemetery.  I had a good time reminiscing about things that we would normally be doing at this time of year and also expressed how much I missed having him around to share in the wonderful things that are happening to me in my life.  The thing with success, is that it's true - it doesn't mean anything without someone significant to share it with.  I am confident that when the time comes for me, there is nothing that my late husband would like nothing more than what I wish for you - that if ya live to learn you'll be lucky one day. . . 

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

We know the way. . .

What you say to someone who thinks your people don't know anything. . . 

Tatou o tagata folau e vala'auina
E le atua o le sami tele e o mai
Ua ava'e le lu'itau e lelei

Pacific peoples have been the greatest navigators.  Samoa was originally called The Navigator Islands.  Tonga was known as The Friendly Islands.  Niue is still known as The Rock of Polynesia.  The vast Pacific Ocean has always been a huge part of Pacific daily life; a source of nourishment for its peoples, both bringer and taker of life, a means to traverse between islands, to discover new places beyond the known territory of home.  The greatest challenge has always been able to read the stars to forge pathways ahead and to be prepared for the weather changes that are both unpredictable and frequent.  Pacific peoples have always had a healthy respect for the ocean, the moana and what powers or spirits dwell within it.

Aue, aue
Nuku i mua
Te manulele e tataki e
Aue, aue
Te fenua, te malie
Nae ko hakilia kaiga e

The wildlife, the birds that soar above the navigators show signs of life in islands ahead.  This immediately brings forth for me the bible story of Noah and the ark, sending out the raven and the dove to check when the flood had subsided.  Land and its beauty is something that humanity must never forget to cherish.  Those people without land know the tragedy of this too well, be it when land has been confiscated and taken away forcibly from them, whether they have lost land in generations gone or whether they have been ousted from their own land in current situations where war has ravaged.  Land is beautiful and must continue to be, but yet can only be, if we look after it.  I sometimes wonder whether we will be able to leave this earth in a better place than when we were born into it, because we don't look after it as well as we should.  If Mother Earth could speak to us, what would she say?  Would we be willing to hear what she has to say?

We read the wind and the sky
When the sun is high
We sail the length of the seas
On the ocean breeze
At night we name every star
We know where we are, 
We know who we are, who we are

Do you know where you are? Do you know who you are? They seem simple enough questions, but I guarantee you probably answer them differently depending on who asked you right?  I would have thought you would have the same answers no matter who asked you, but I find that the answers change because of the audience listening to you.  They might not be ready to receive you - to acknowledge and accept you in your true form.  So this begs the question, how authentic can you be with people?  We can spend time teaching people our ways and trying to understand who we are in our authentic form, or we can be chameleons and constantly shape shift and change colours to conform to what is easiest for them to know.  What do you naturally do?  I use naturally rather than normally, because I hate the word 'normal'.  It has a colonial connotation that all things 'normal' are Western, but gee, look at the navigation skills of my Pacific ancestors - no maps, no compass, no instruments other than the stars and their total recall of a mega memory.

Aue, aue
We set a course to find
A brand new island everywhere we roam 
Aue, aue
We keep our island in our mind
And when it's time to find home
We know the way

I think about when my parents migrated to Aotearoa New Zealand with their minimal English.  I know it was minimal because before they migrated they both worked in Apia (where they met) before they both got married and had their first son.  My parents have always known how to get back home to Samoa, but only ever returned there for weddings and funerals of loved ones for the most part.  I have had the greatest pleasure of travelling with them on several occasions during different times in my life and as I get older, I appreciate what they gave up to bring us to a foreign land.  What courses did your parents set to find new homes for you?  Are you doing the same for your own children?  What legacy will they leave behind that they want you to pass on to their descendants?

Aue, aue
We are explorers reading every sign
We tell the stories of our elders
in the neverending chain
Aue, aue
Te fenua, te malie
Nae ko hakilia
We know the way

I hope that we never stop telling the stories of our elders.  This particular Disney movie has received a lot of backlash from Pacific anthropologists (I am one myself, but probably more of an ethnomusicologist) for the blatant exploitation of our Pacific stories all meshed into this generic tale of Maui the demigod and the fictional heroine of Moana.  I haven't really said much about this film leading up to its premiere (apart from shaking my head at the Maui Halloween costume, that was just too much, went too far!).  I am hopeful that this movie opens the door for other opportunities to showcase Pacific stories and for the world to take an interest in the preservation of our lands and most importantly our ocean.  What can we do collectively to ensure that we are able to include future generations in this neverending chain?  As much as we may not know what the future holds, we can be sure of one thing that Pacific peoples have known for centuries; we know the way. . . 

Drag me down. . .

When somebody tries to show you up, just remember 'nobody can drag me down' . . . 

I've got fire for a heart
I'm not scared of the dark
You've never seen it look so easy
I got a river for a soul
And baby you're a boat
Baby you're my only reason

I've never been a One Direction but this track is one of the few tracks that I like from these boys.  If I think about all of the boy bands and r'n'b male groups that I enjoyed in my youth, they were a mixture of different groups like New Kids on the Block, New Edition, Backstreet Boys, Blackstreet, Color Me Badd, Jodeci, Boyz II Men plus so many others.  When we have both fire and water within us, I sometimes think that whichever element is stronger, the water either boils then evaporates or the fire gets put out.  We might even be hot or cold for whatever reason, dependent on the situation that we're in.  Who are the people that are the reasons for us doing what we do in life?

If I didn't have you there would be nothing left

The shell of a man who could never be his best
If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun
You taught me how to be someone, yeah

Do you recall incidents where someone relied on you so much to do something that they would always willingly tell you how much you meant to them?  Did you teach someone so many things about themselves that they didn't realise they had, that they were unwilling to see or didn't have the eyes to see, but now things are completely different?  It might be taking you a while to process exactly how you are meant to feel when things change, and that's what change does, it modifies situations, it helps things to either disappear or appear, disintegrate or integrate.  You might find yourself in a weirdly unique space where you don't know where you stand with others in this situation, whether you want to be dragged down by their actions, or choose to rise above it.  What options do you have?  I often wonder whether people really understand ramifications of actions much anymore.  They don't really consider things from all angles really.  They're too busy fixating on their own self interest.  That's part of the danger isn't it?  Why we can't trust people even when they say all the nice things that you think are true, or what they claim to be true.  You helped them see the sun, to have its rays shine on their face.  Who will help them to see the sun again?

All my life, you stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights, they can't blind me
With your love nobody can drag me down

When you stand by someone, how strong is your stance?  When we find out things about people, we don't whether to keep standing by them, no matter what.  We can often worry about how people's perceptions will change if we worry about their opinions of us, but that's because we're not so much caring about what people think of us per se, but that we only really care about the opinions of those who really matter to us.  This is a lesson that I learned in my early college years that sometimes rears its head from time to time in certain situations.  The thing is, I can now see it coming a mile away if I recognise the signs fast enough.  How quick are your reflexes?  Do you trust your own instincts?  The trouble with always giving people the benefit of the doubt, is that sometimes we need to be better prepared for disappointment.  I'm not saying that we can't trust anybody anymore; but that we need to be really careful about who we choose to invest our time and energy into.  Whose love can we believe in to keep us afloat in the swirling seas and storms that threaten to overwhelm us on a daily basis?

Nobody nobody
Nobody can drag me down
Nobody nobody
Nobody can drag me down

I hope that you surround yourself with people that will never drag you down.
If you have a lot of friends who constantly criticise you or try to compete with you; basically try to make you feel less than you are, try to belittle you in front of others  - call these people out.  I'm not saying that you need to knock these people out, but by all means, put these people in their place.  Life is too short to be worrying about being polite, especially when you are constantly being pushed to your limits (and not in good ways I might add) but you will know when there are people who try to erode your sense of self worth because you've managed to harness your own power that they can never hope to hold for themselves.  If you can't find people or at least some cheerleaders and support crew who 'have your back', then learn quick smart, how to have your own back and keep your head held high.  There are sharks out there who are waiting for you to fail, waiting for you to slip up and make a damn fool of yourself.  If there is one message in this song that I take with me, it's that nobody can drag me down. . . 

Monday, 19 December 2016

How far I'll go. . .

When you finally understand that you are exactly where you are meant to be. . . 

I've been standing at the edge of the water 
Long as I can remember
Never really knowing why
I wish I could be the perfect daughter
But I come back to the water
No matter how hard I try

Have you ever known deep down inside you that there was something that you were meant to do but you couldn't explain it?  You could call it destiny or some kind of divine calling that you might have chosen to ignore, but what happens when you get to a point when you can no longer ignore it?  Even if you were forbidden from even entertaining the idea because of the dangers that lie ahead (people are trying to protect you) but you just can't seem to explain that you've been having visions or dreams about this destiny that only you can fulfil?

Every turn I take
Every trail I track
Every path I make
Every road leads back to the place I know
Where I cannot go
Where I long to be

There is a sense of freedom that you might feel from being somewhere that you know you aren't meant to be.  You take every other road imaginable but it always seems to lead you back to the very place you are trying to avoid.  Why does that happen you might think?  Is it because you're not trying hard enough to stay away?  Or do you think that you are meant to be at that place?  We can often feel like other people try to dictate how we think and feel about our own destiny, but we can no longer ignore what our path or trail or road should be.  Why deny yourself any longer?

See the line where the sky meets the sea
It calls me 
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I'll know
If I go there's just no telling how far I'll go

For too long we can listen to the wrong people who don't have our best interests at heart.  We might even find ourselves listening to people who even though publicly they say all the right things to your face, privately think you don't have what it takes to achieve your goals.  Who knows how far you will go in life, but that's the beauty of it right?  You get to decide that - nobody else.  They have their own paths to follow so why should they feel entitled to give you their advice when you didn't ask for it?  I like to think that the wind in my sail on the sea are my parents.  No matter how many times they can drive me crazy, but I understand that their wisdom has been gifted to them by my ancestors and affirms part of the calling that comes from my own line where the sky meets the sea.  Are you listening to your own calling?

I know everybody on this island
Seems so happy on this island
Everything is by design
I know everybody on this island
Has a role on this island
So maybe I can roll with mine

There is a sense of belonging when you're in a community.  If you're from where I'm from, the churches have replaced the villages from the islands and everybody has a role to play in society if not based on hierarchy and rank, then definitely by their gifts and talents.  Sometimes we think that we need to always be a part of this community forever, but we forget that we too can explore and navigate our own paths and follow where it leads us.  This doesn't mean that we forget where we come from, but more than anything, we should take our communities with us in our hearts, because the things that we will achieve in other places will be on behalf of our communities; to show the young ones in the next generation that they too can dare to dream and navigate their own pathways.

I can lead with pride
I can make us strong
I'll be satisfied if I play along
But the voice inside sings a different song
What is wrong with me?

When you reach that point that you recognise that what you are able to contribute to the world is unique and different, don't be afraid of it.  For too long we can deny ourselves the opportunities to make good on things that we can never understand, but once we are willing and ready to accept that we are thrust into an adventure that we didn't want to be in, we then see that it is part of the divine composition that is you.  There is nothing wrong with you.  It's just that you're song is different from everybody else's.  Get to know how your melody will roll with other people who can provide the harmonies to support you on your journey.  Others may come along to distract you and deter you from reaching your goals, so know when to avoid them or set them on their own pathways.

See the light as it shines on the sea
It's blinding
But no one knows how deep it goes
And it seems like it's calling out to me
So come find me
And let me know
What's beyond that line
Will I cross that line

You may need to find some guidance on your journey.  This advice may come from people that you least expect.  They might be people who you wouldn't normally see as fonts of knowledge, and you would normally be quite dismissive of them.  They might be people who have been sent to test you and hurt you, but if you are smart, you will pay attention to the lessons that they aren't aware that they're teaching you (but you will know, because you will be willing and ready to accept by then).  The thing about lines is that we have the power to cross them when we want to.  We think that lines can't be broken - they don't need to be - they just need to be crossed.  What are you willing to cross the line for?  Who will you take with you to cross that line?

See the light where the sky meets the sea
It calls me
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I'll know
How far I'll go . . . 

We might not see at first glance that light where the sky meets the sea.  To the untrained eye, all you would see is blinding light.  But if you can train yourself, you will be able to see the horizon and know that you are meant to be there.  I hope that you take the necessary provisions with you on your quest, not to find yourself, but to know how far you are able to go; to test your endurance, your strength of character and ultimately, to show the world the hero that you were destined to be.  I mean, who wouldn't want to make a contribution to their community right?  Who knows where we will end up.  I just know that I am definitely on my way, I am definitely closer to one day I'll know how far I'll go. . . 

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Confetti. . .

When you need to collect pieces of confetti along the way to get to the end you want in mind!

I gotta keep myself in check sometimes
'Cause I tend to dream real big sometimes
The fancy outfits and the sparkly awards
My name in lights, the people lined up at the doors
But I gotta remember to take it one step at a time

The thing about adulation is that you shouldn't let things get to your head.  I think if you are able to discern and tell the difference between praise and the fake praise that seems to proliferate in the media (almost as much as the level of criticism which is equally as rife), then you are in a better position to ward off situations and people that can threaten to consume you.  The thing about believing your own hype is also another dangerous thing to be aware of and it's also as important to enjoy all the success that you have, but also be mindful about enjoying it too much, in excess, and where that can take you if you aren't careful.

'Cause people seem to think
That you'll be happier once you reach the top
You'll have it all
But I'm living for right now
'Cause what if tomorrow never comes
I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting
For the confetti to fall

There is a perceotion that reaching the top of your game is the only form of real success that we should be striving towards.  But as we know, the more successful you become or at least the pursuit of it, we forget to notice the small goals reached along the way.  The only way to reach our dreams is to celebrate the small successes in steps along the way,  This may even come in the form of little milestones that includes a change of mindset on your part that you never thought you would get to.  Are you living for right now?  If we focus too much on the future, we might never start living at all, so we need to take stock of the days that we are in right now.

I can't just sit around and wait for my life to start
I can make a difference, put a little happiness in someone's heart
The fancy cars, the glitter and the fame
It's all nice, but it won't be worth a thing
Love is bigger, so I'mma stand up for love, yeah

We might often be used to waiting for someone to come along and inspire us to make our lives happen, but we only need to look in the mirror to see that starting our lives begin with the reflection staring back at us with that same uncertainty and blinking eyes of self doubt.  What are some of the things that you are willing to stanf up for?  Is love one of them?  Before you can stand up for love for others, the first person you should stand up for with love is yourself.  I used to think that loving yourself was selfish and something that only self absorbed people did, but boy was I wrong.  I think having self love is the best thing I could have decided to focus on for myself this year.  I haven't focused on the things that benefit me and help me out in the long run for such a long time.  I think this is because my destiny isn't about things for myself alone, but things that will benefit people beyond what I would have ever dared to think possible for it to reach.  It seems quite daunting at times, but the countless ripples that will be caused are too great to ignore.

If there was a rope stretching up to the sky
With all of my dreams at the very top, so high
I get so caught up in everything around me, moving quickly
I forget to cherish every single moment that I receive Oh
I forget about the climb, I just wanna get there
Don't wanna wait in line, even though it's so clear
That I'm called to use patience on this journey that I'm on
I know that I'll come out alive and it'll only make me stronger
Oh oh, while everybody's focused on the hype
Oh oh oh oh, I'll be wondering why we seem to think
You'll be happier, once you reach the top
You'll have it all
But I'm living for right now
'Cause what if tomorrow never comes
I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting no

Are you a patient person?  I think I'm very lucky to have inherited patience from my mother.  She is such a strong woman despite her age, but she has such a work ethic that my brothers and I understand, because we've inherited that from her too.  If you are dealing with issues or problems that make you doubt whether you are on the right track, make you question your decisions and wonder if you need to reconnect with people from your past - you need to ask yourself whether that would make you any happier?  What will make you stronger?  Sometimes we forget that the climb is the most important part to reaching your goal - that you need to focus more on the process of getting from point A to point B rather than just focus on the outcome.

'Cause people seem to think

That you'll be happier once you reach the top
You'll have it all
But I'm living for right now
'Cause what if tomorrow never comes
I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting
For the confetti to fall

I'm not saying that reaching the top isn't a great accomplishment.  I'm just saying that people that think you'll be happier when you get there need to readjust themselves.  We should be striving to have each moment in our lives dripping with happiness, have it so that it smears itself all over each moment that we have.  I think sometimes we can forget to appreciate each and every single moment that we have because we forget what it means to acknowledge how far you've come, where you are heading and what you will do afterwards after the hype dies down.

I'm not waiting to be happy
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Ooh, yeah

I hope that you will choose happiness everyday, even when you struggle to see what you have to be happy about.  Never let anyone take your happiness, steal what is rightfully yours and don't you dare take somebody else's happiness either - because guaranteed, when you least expect it, yours will be taken away in an instant, because that's what karma does - it waits for an opportunity, it doesn't wait for happiness.  I guess karma loves taking away opportunities from those who waste the happiness that they experience so freely or don't freely accept or celebrate because they're on the lookout for the next big high.  I just want to be able to continue to put happiness inside other people's hearts and when they are ready to celebrate, to hand them their own confetti. . . 

Weary. . .

For those of us who sometimes feel they're living a weary existence in this world. . . 

I'm weary of the ways of the world
Be weary of the ways of the world
I'm weary of the ways of the world

I'm not sure if it's because we're coming to the end of the year, or because I've lost faith in what's going on in the world at large or even in my own little world, but I can definitely say I have become weary of the ways of the world.  What ways of the world are you weary of in your own space?  When you try to make contributions about things that you know you either have a clear unobstructed view or you can just simple 'see' where others cannot - can be an extremely predicament to be in for sure.  It is no wonder that you develop a sense of being weary, or that weariness starts to surface.

I'm gonna look for my body yeah 
I'll be back real soon
I'm gonna look for my body yeah 
I'll be back real soon
I'm gonna look for my body yeah 
I'll be back real soon

Do you know where your body gets to?  Sometimes you might experience some kind of displacement between your mind and your body.  You could be potentially doing some damage to yourself because you are too focused on helping others in the rest of the world, but neglect yourself in the process.  It's ok to take some time out and consider what you want for yourself for a change.  I think when we refuse to acknowledge how weary we can become, we continue to allow others to take us for granted, to continue to abuse us - and they might not even be aware that they are doing this, because they are relying on you to be able to say something, to speak up, to trust that you can say no.

But you know the king is only a man
With flesh and bones he bleeds like you do
He said "where does that leave you"
And do you belong I do, I do

Everybody will come to a place in their lives where they are closer to the search for where they belong.  They will create spaces where they would like to belong, and these spaces could be transition points to escape from places that they don't belong to or wish to move away from, but still need to prepare for the ultimate spaces that they wish to occupy.  What do you do when you bleed and become injured or exposed in that way?  Sometimes we can forget our own humanity, our own fallibility because we only learn to be weary when we have been deceived or mislead over time.  Where does being weary lead you?  Where does being weary leave you?  

Be leery bout your place in the world
You're feeling like you're chasing the world
You're leaving not a trace in the world
But you're facing the world

The time and space that exists between you and the world - whether you choose to engage in it or purely become something insignificant within it, is a decision that you must make on your own.  There will be people that will choose to impose their ideas, values and behaviours onto you.  They will seek to make you an ally through all of their pain because they don't have anybody else to turn to, except for you.  They teach you unintentionally, the ways to chase their world, but once you arrive there you realise it is not a place that you want to be in and so you try to leave them and their world, and try not to leave a trace that you were ever there.  Time for you to return to your own world that you need to face alone, and without them.

I'm gonna look for my glory yeah
I'll be back real soon
I'm gonna look for my glory yeah
I'll be back real soon
I'm gonna look for my glory yeah
I'll be back real soon

Why do we seek glory?  Why do we seek approval and affirmation?  Is it is simple as saying that when we are denied these things growing up, that we choose to use our adult years to create opportunities to afford us acknowledgement of glory when we reach the heights for which we can be finally awarded them?  How satisfying will it finally be to receive the recognition that we craved as children, to gain favour now as adults?  What if you experienced the opposite - where in fact when you were a child, it felt like you could do no wrong, and now as an adult you struggle to emulate the same success that you had back then.  Why do we put ourselves through such pain?  I guess we just need time and space to realise our what actual reality is before we can return to face what is directly in front of us.

But you know the king is only a man

With flesh and bones he bleeds like you do
He said "where does that leave you"
And do you belong I do, I do

I hope that you know that the king is only a man.  We revere so many famous people and other people who we are taught to admire because they are either really successful, really rich, or have so much unlimited power that we aspire to be like them and never can be.  Why should we be those people?  Where does bleeding leave you?   I hope that you know that you have always belonged - even when you think that you don't.

We just need to remember that when people see the power that is within us, they will spend all of their time trying to convince other people in the world that they are worthless.  Stay away from such people.  Nobody has any time for these types of people.  If you want to know if you belong and where that leaves you, just know that we must remember how to survive, remember how to cope with challenges that will constantly follow us, even when all we want is some respite.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, despite it all, we must never forget that after all is said and done, we must always be a little weary. . . 

Sunday, 11 December 2016

I didn't plan it . . .

When you didn't even plan your best laid plans or your best laid plans are the best unplanned. . . 

Go ahead throw your rocks at me
From your little glass house
And then take off running
You're no better than me
We've both made mistakes intentionally

When you recall the moments in your life where you have had disagreements, arguments or fights with people, can you remember the words that were said or actions that played out?  We can often blame each other for things that happened, but timing never quite makes it right or maybe it's perfect timing gone wrong because we catch the tail end of things like a bad comedy of errors.  Maybe you made mistakes on purpose to test or check what was happening - to see if any of it was all real.  Why do we play games like that anyway?

And I won't do what you keep doing
Sitting in judgement of a house I ruined
I don't claim to be proud but
My head won't be hung in shame
I didn't plan it
But the light turned red and I ran it
And I'm still standing
It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here

Are things as simple as saying it was a case of it felt so good, it can't have been wrong?  Regrets may plague your life because any choices you make that hurt people are eventualities that you didn't account for.  Sometimes when you focus a lot on your own feelings, you forget to consider what's going on for others around you.  What houses have you ruined?  When we don't mean for things to happen, but they do, how do recover from it?  There are always difficult lessons to be learned and we may choose to see them for what they are or completely ignore them and stay in denial.  But we all know what happens when we choose denial.  Things just keep popping up until you admit defeat and concede; finally admit to what you need to accept in order to move on.  It's not an easy road is it?  In fact, it's a less travelled one, but one worth taking if you are keen to get to where you need to be.

I understand it
A story written by my own hand
It's life biting right at your heels
I didn't plan it
But it's finally something to feel

When was the last time you ever really felt anything?  When people talk about or ask others 'how do you feel'? - I sometimes think that's probably the most asked and yet misunderstood questions of all time.  We can ask people how they feel and they can choose to lie to us - and tell us things are ok.  They might decide to tell us the truth and give us a sense of how things really are, go into too much detail, and completely put us off ever asking them that question again (whether they intended for that to happen or not is another story altogether).  What stories written by your own hand are you willing to read aloud?  There might be stories that you know should never see the light of day.  There might be stories that you're quite willing to broadcast for all and sundry.  I guess it depends on why you would want to do such a thing.  Do you want to go incognito or do you prove a point and explain yourself?

Look around you
Ain't no saints here baby
We're just all looking for a little less crazy
And sometimes it's a hard left turn
Down a road you'd never thought you'd see
Don't you think dealing blame is a hazard
I'm not the only one whose dark side has her

Would you like your life to be a little less crazy?  It's simple enough to fix.  To eliminate the craziness from your life, there are few things you need to remember.  Here's a brief list to start you off:
1) stay away from crazy people i.e. people who make your life more chaotic than it needs to be
2) stay away from crazy ideas i.e. these tend to stem from number 1, so if you did number 1, this wouldn't be here and 3) stay away from crazy drama that you don't need to attract into your life.  But rather than blaming others for the craziness that might exist for you, try thinking about what your role is, within all of this chaos.  Do you let your dark side come out to play more than you should?  The thing about your dark side is that if you let it come to light too many times, it might eclipse your light.  It's bad enough when others try to dim your light, but when you do it to yourself, then the only one to blame is yourself.

I didn't plan it
Taking back what's been taken for granted
'Cause I can't stand it
I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free
I needed saving
And a good mistake needed making
Maybe you needed the same thing

There must come a point in your life when you decide, the merry go round has gone on long enough and it's time to finally get off the ride.  If you find yourself going in circles like this, where history repeats and you can't tell when something begins or when something ends, it is definitely time to take stock of what you intend to do.  What things have been taken for granted in your life?  Has someone taken you for granted?  We often create barriers to block ourselves, blame others for constructing these barriers, but it's how situations play themselves out.  Every action has a reaction.  Every reaction creates a chain reaction.  I sometimes laugh and think if you're going to make mistakes, you might as well make some pretty spectacular ones so that you know emphatically that they are mistakes.  Maybe if we focused less on saving other people, we could save ourselves in the process, maybe even save ourselves first for a change.

I didn't plan it
Taking back what's been taken for granted
I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free
I didn't plan it
But it's finally something to feel
Something to feel. . . 

I hope that you take back what's been taken for granted in your life.
In the act of waiting for things to happen, we don't realise that the power to move and power to make the necessary changes within our lives was inside us the whole time.  Are you going to wait to live your best life?  I think the only thing you should try to plan is how to feel again.  I think that's probably where I'm at right now, where I am in this moment.  There are probably equal parts of things that I know for sure, and things that I don't know, but maybe that's a good thing.  I didn't plan it, but it's finally something to feel, something to feel. . .