Wednesday, 16 November 2016

It's too late. . .

When you need to realise that "it's too late"

Stayin' in bed all mornin' just to pass the time
There's somethin' wrong here, there can be no denyin'
One of us is changin', or maybe we just stopped tryin'

How do you know when relationships or friendships end?  What circumstances or chain of events lead to its imminent demise?  Sometimes it might be hard to pinpoint exactly because people start blaming each other for things that we all know - only happen because of reactions or responses to actions that people do.  When you are backed into a corner do you cower or do you counterattack?  We might even think that we do things because we think they are the best things to do - but in actual fact, they come from places of selfishness, self service and just being plain self centred.

And it's too late baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide
And I just can't fake it oh no no

Did you really try to make it though?  Did you try to make it together?  When something dies inside you, it's gone, it can't be revived and you need to start grieving for the loss and emptiness that will ensue.  But what if you're the kind of person that refuses to give up?  You know in your heart of hearts that there is a slim chance that it hasn't really died and all it needs is just some love and attention to bring it back to life?  You might also be the kind of person to accept that you know what, it was good while it lasted, but now that I've stepped back a little bit and gained some perspective, it had a shelf life but it isn't intended to have a future.  Are there things that you aren't prepared to fake anymore?  We live in such a processed world and celebrate and glorify the artificial when actually it's the artifice that lies beneath that we should be giving a standing ovation.  Well played, well played.

It used to be so easy livin' here with me
You were light and breezy, an' I knew just what to do 
Now you look so unhappy and I feel like a fool

When things are easy, it's usually because you don't have to work so hard at something or there might be some real fake things going on that are undetected by normal human emotions.  I say normal human emotions because in the past few months I've seen abnormal human emotions (and we're not just talking the U.S elections here).  What drives us to be unhappy or feel like fools?  I think it depends on the situation and the content of the context, but for the most part, I think a lot about how people say and do things to protect their ego, which they might prize over everything else.  Have you been accused of having unflattering attributes?  Like when people might say you're over bearing, perceived as someone who has all the answers (hang on, that could be a good thing either way) or they say you degrade others.  I mean, if you get this type of criticism the natural reaction is to get all defensive and think no, I'm not like that at all.  But if you are a deeply reflective person, you can look inside yourself and really examine if these are true.  You might be surprised to find out that no, you're none of those things but the person accusing you of those things is experiencing what we call in amateur psychology as transference.  They start accusing of attributes that they might have shown to others in their own childhood - but now it's resurfacing as an adult.

There'll be good times again for me and you
But we just can't stay together, don't you feel it too?
Still I'm glad for what we had and how I once loved you

I hope that you will experience good times again.  It might not happen overnight, but maybe 5, 10 or 15 years down the track, you might be able to reconnect with someone and sort out your issues and things may be light and breezy again; nobody will need to look so unhappy or feel like a fool again.  We need to also remember that we must be grateful for what has happened, because it is all a part of our learning and leads us to where destiny intends for us to live.  If we keep trying to press things now and it's broken, maybe it's because we're not meant to fix it right now.  It's too late baby, it's too late now darling, it's too late. . .