Thursday, 17 November 2016

Go back to your life. . .

When you're trying to get through life and people keep trying to pull you back. . . 

Go on back to your life
The way it used to be before you met me
Stop holding on, baby, let it go
'Cause it ain't gonna be different
'Cause we don't want to

When things happen and you're trying to get through it on your own, there might be people who persist in trying to pull you back in their vortex of bullshit.  What do you do?  There's so many things that you want to say, but you might not be inclined to say them because if they come from a place of anger - what good would that do?  They've already hurt you anyway so why contribute to that cycle of drama?  They might have betrayed you on a previous occasion but you forgave quickly then because you thought being connected to them was worth it, you were willing to overlook how you had been wronged, because you cared, you loved them as deeply as friends love people they care about.

And you, you've got so much goin' on
And I don't want you from comin' into your own
And it's been so good, so good, (oh my goodness it was just too good to be true) so good, too good

Of course it's easy to see that they are coming into their own if you were the one responsible for challenging them to grow and to feel the fear of growth and do it anyway.  They might have lashed out at you from time to time and you took it in your stride.  Why?  Not because you like to be abused, but because you were stronger than their weaknesses and you'd been through all the spiritual changes that they're only now starting to experience.  Do you need to hold onto their hand and guide them through every single step?  No. You don't need to.  Because you've shown them enough times already how they need to do things but they insist on having you there by their side to do things.  They might have even done things and achieved accomplishments by mimicking things you've done, but you didn't even know until they admitted it.  Flattered or flummoxed?  I don't even know anymore.  The ironic thing is, no matter what anybody did to me,  I would still want them to do well in life. Why?  Because everyone is entitled to success. Even those who I should think don't deserve it because of how they've treated me - to me, that's just stupid.  I guess that shows the emotional maturity I have.  In saying that, I'm not stupid either.  Excuses and apologies mean nothing without action.

Beautiful you are, I can't take that from you

But I'm beautiful too
The sooner we get through this thing
We can be free

The sooner you can get through the valley of confusion and veer away from the valley of death (right next to the valley of denial) then you can truly start to live your life.  If you have invested time and energy into people who see nothing wrong with taking from you, taking advantage of your generosity, taken your love for their growth and wellbeing and used it to put themselves ahead in life, to abuse your trust and make you second guess things about yourself that you now realise were weaknesses that they had in themselves - then you know what decision that you need to make.  Do you want to get to a place of being "fine" again?  Lately I've been questioning what it means to be fine anymore.  Over thinking it just makes it over rated anyway.

Go on back (go ahead) back to your life (it's ok)
The way it used to be before you loved me (ditto)

I hope that you just stand still for a minute.  Just stop what you're doing.  Think very carefully and seriously about your actions - why do you do what you do? Have you thought about the impact of your actions on others?  I would like to think that the way I do things is in the best interests of others - never my own self serving interest.  This is because I've been told that my life is about helping others, not about myself.  All I can do is use who I am and what I can do to benefit others.  But there is a distinct difference between that and having others try to take advantage of who you are and what you can do to benefit them at the expense of your peace of mind and well being.  This is where I draw the line.  This is why I say go on back (go ahead) back to your life (it's ok), the way it used to be before you used me. . .