Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Are we there yet? . . .

This blog post is for those who need to develop patience. . . 

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

And are we there yet?

Do you know where your heart is?  Do you know where home is?  We probably drive around in circles because home is probably somewhere that we never thought would be - in some place completely different and far away from the only home you may have known, with other people that you never thought you would think to feel at home.  How do you know when you're there?  I guess that's what makes life fun right?  Taking the time to discover what it means to have a heart, what it means to have a home and how to know when you've reached that destination.

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside of each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

I used to think rain clouds were bad things.  But until I actually stood back and had a good look at where the rain fell from those clouds - on objects, on people, on me - how rain felt on my skin.  It made me think about how being in rain is a chance to be clean again.  It's a chance to be renewed, to start over and to enjoy how rain mixes with objects and people and how they react to it on their surfaces, on their skins.  Who delivers your silver lining in your clouds?  I used to rely on someone always bringing those silver linings; a totally natural thing when you're a child, relying on someone to fix everything or make everything better.  But I think as the years passed, the more rain clouds that appear on the horizon, I have learned to rely on myself, to weather the possible storm that those rain clouds could quickly turn into when we don't pay close enough attention.  I just think we need to always be mindful of recognising those silver linings a lot quicker, for ourselves.  We also need to question whether those silver linings can be trusted.  How do we know that they are meant to be?

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Who knows when you're "there" yet.  What does your "there" even look like?  It's probably a safe haven where you can truly be yourself and you can start to take note of your surroundings, start to put things away while you settle into your new home.  If you keep asking if you're there yet - who is it that you have with you that you want to build a home together with?  I haven't really thought too much about who will be in my home.  I know that for the time being that I am blessed to have my parents, who fill my heart and soul with life lessons that I know in their absence will continue to steer me like a moral compass for the rest of my days.

They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon

Does somebody else love you the way that you need to be loved?  The way that you want to be loved?  We may either be in relationships where we think that we have what we want and need, or we may want to be in relationships where we want what we have or need, but time is crazy right, and we never seem to be where we think we should be.  Who is the somebody soon that you have in mind?  Whether we are ready to make somebody a "somebody" in our lives, it is completely up to you how that plays itself out.  Sometimes when somebody loves us, we don't know what to do about it and question whether we deserve to be loved.  That's a simple answer.  Everyone deserves to be loved.  Maybe when you least expect it, somebody is waiting to make you their somebody soon too.  Whether you want to be loved or not, it's always important to know whether there is a somebody on the horizon.  You never know how you will feel about what is happening, how to process it and what you should be focusing on.  It's all part of living right?  It's all part of the process. 

Where you will lie on the rug
While I play with the dog
And it won't be too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold

What is too much these days?  I think the more we involve ourselves, become really engaged and really committed in living our best lives, we may often come face to face with things and situations that we feel are too much.  Are these things too much because we haven't yet faced such things with huge intensity before?  How much can you hold?  What are you prepared to do in order to be able to hold what could possible be too much for you?  Being able to be comfortable with somebody who loves you will mean being able to do things that you want without feeling like you have to compromise too much, but in fact, you are able to accept what you do and enjoy each other's company despite having different interests and doing different things that occupy your time.

Home, home, home
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?

I hope that you find home soon.  I hope that you find yourself there, where you want to be.   We need to be able to trust the people on our journey, to know that we can rely on them to be able to if not offer advice, then at least know when to offer support when needed.  Why do we need to constantly question whether we are there yet or not?  Do we not recognise what it means to be there?  Sometimes we might not have even thought that far ahead and considered what it meant to be able to know, but that's what life is meant to be - a series of unknown events with unknown people mixed together to create memories that either last a lifetime or are burned, hoping to be forgotten.  I guess all we can really ask ourselves is and are we there?. . . 

Monday, 28 November 2016

There are worse things I could do. . .

The thing I love most about music is its ability to tell a story and to connect to the human spirit through sound.  Even if you haven't experienced what the singer faces in the story he or she sings, you can at least imagine what it might feel like based on how they articulate the melody and how the harmonies support them in the instrumentation.  This song from the classic Grease soundtrack is one of the shortest in the musical but definitely one of the most memorable for me.  I guess it has to do with the audience finally being able to see Rizzo in a truly vulnerable moment.  How many of us are able to really truly face our own vulnerabilities in life?  Who can we bare our souls to, if not ourselves?

There are worse things I could do
Than go with a boy or two
Even though the neighbourhood
Thinks I'm trashy and no good
I suppose it could be true
But there are worse things I could do

Do you think a lot about what you do?  Do our actions cause people to think the worst of us?  It is natural that people's opinions are formed on the basis of what we say and do.  Often though, we can be pretty judgemental and be quite dismissive of people when they do things that society would deem to be trashy and no good.  Sometimes we forget that maybe people do those things because there are some underlying issues that cause them to act in that way.  I'm not saying that stating there are underlying issues could be a possible excuse to explain such behaviour - but in the end - who are we to judge?  As long as we don't hurt others - there are worse things we could do right?

I could flirt with all the guys
Smile at them and bat my eyes
Press against them when we dance
Make them think they stand a chance
Then refuse to see it through
That's a thing I'd never do

A woman's prerogative to act in a flirtatious way and how a man reacts to that is the essence of love stories (or horror stories if things don't end well).  Society says it's a bad thing when we own our sexuality and sensuality.  Some women may also be quite adept at using their womanly wiles to get what they want out of men; play the damsel in distress quite artfully without their male counterparts even noticing, I mean after all, this is what we've been taught right?  That women are the fairer sex and can't possibly do anything without men there to help or support them.  I think men just need to be aware that strong women, will only allow them into their lives because they've found someone that they don't need to be strong in front of - I just think sometimes some men don't get the memo and therefore don't know how to act when a woman falls apart on them.  Lessons to be learned I guess.

I could stay home every night
Wait around for Mr. Right
Take cold showers every day
And throw my life away
On a dream that won't come true

What dreams are we willing to throw away because we don't believe that they will come true?  We can most definitely stay home every night and play it safe, enjoy our privacy and solitude without having to answer to someone else, make compromises and sacrifices that we end up regretting or never fully committed to granting.  I can't help but really feel the sarcasm in this verse of the song.  The disdain that Rizzo feels for herself is quite loaded here.  Have you found yourself in a similar position?  That type of honesty with yourself can be quite rare and if so, quite confronting if you don't know what to do with yourself.

I could hurt someone like me
Out of spite or jealousy
I don't steal and I don't lie
But I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you
That's the worst thing I could do. . . 

I hope that we can control our impulses in a way that doesn't lead us on a path to self destruction.  How do we do this when we think that it is part of the process we need to go through when we have been deeply impacted by a tragedy or similar event?  People may blame you for things that go in their world, but you need to be strong and stand up for yourself.  We need to be kind to ourselves, because there are easily so many other people out there that are ready and primed to hurt us, even when we don't ask for it or don't deserve it.  What are their motivations?  Do we continue to play victim?  No, don't do that.  We don't need to cry in front of others anymore.  We can get through this and come out the other side.  Own your feelings and cry if you have to.  But never give up ok.  There are worse things you could do. . .

Sunday, 27 November 2016

A life that's good. . .

This blog post is for everyone who wants to live a good life. . . 

Sitting here tonight by the fire light
It reminds me I already have more than I should
I don't need a thing, no one to know my name
At the end of the day Lord I pray
I have a life that's good

The way the world is geared, it forces people to think that they need more things, better things, faster things.  These are just things after all.  Being materialistic and having lists of items that you are meant to strive to achieve, will pale in comparison to having a life that's good.  So if fame isn't something that one should seek (or just seek above everything else, before anything else), what would make your life good?  You can't expect to have more things, better things or faster things in your life if you don't first appreciate the current goodness in your life.

Two arms around me, heaven to ground me
And a family that always calls me home
Four wheels to get there, enough love to share
And a sweet sweet sweet song
At the end of the day of the day Lord I pray
I have a life that's good

Even though I don't see my loved ones often, I know that I will always feel their two arms around me.  Even those who have left this life, in my darkest times, I find comfort in their words they said to uplift me.  I guess this is how heaven chooses to ground me; to keep me focused on the life that I have being a good life, despite not having them in it.  Do you have a family that calls you home?  You might want to start a family of your own but not quite know how to do that.  Just put it out there and see what happens.  As long as you're grateful for what you have, maybe some more good people, more good things will come your way.  It's nice to hope you know.  It's one of the biggest gifts we can honour ourselves and others.

Sometimes I'm hard on me when dreams don't come easy
I want to look back and say I did all that I could
Yeah at the end of the day Lord I pray
I have a life that's good

I can't remember how many songs I've blogged about that have dreams in them.  I'm probably subconsciously a real dreamer but don't come across one to others when I am awake.  What do you do when your dreams don't come easy?  I actually like it when dreams are hard to come by, because it means that I have to work hard to make them come true.  I can't think of anything more satisfying than realising a dream and bringing it to fruition, to add value to my life and that it was ok that I was hard on myself.  I can handle other people being hard on me, especially if it's to do with my dreams, because I know they have been placed in my life for that divine purpose.  

Two arms around me, heaven to ground me
And a family that always calls me home
Four wheels to get there, enough love to share
And a sweet sweet sweet song
At the end of the day of the day Lord I pray
I have a life that's good

Lately the four wheels that have been getting me places have been attached to a plane.  I think this is a sign of things to come in my future.  Even if I tried to run away from my destiny, I couldn't.  There are things that God has in store for me that utilises to full effect all of the capacity and capabilities that I have learned and mastered over the years.  In saying that, I am still looking forward to continuing to learn more about myself, about others and how sharing enough love will not only make a sweet sweet sweet song, but also remember and cherish the fact that yeah at the end of the day, Lord I pray, I have a life that's good. . . 

Saturday, 26 November 2016

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free. . .

This blog post is dedicated to +Te Mihinga Komene 

I've just spent four days away at work with our Pasifika and Maori aiga (i.e. an example of work people who become family).  Had a great time reconnecting and reconciling.  I guess it's that time of year when you start to assess or take stock of what it is that you've done for others, but still enough time to figure out, what you can do for yourself.  The video clip I've attached to this blog post has Emeli Sande performing the song, as the original performances of Nina Simone performing it can be found on YouTube.  The best performance is of course the one at the 1976 Montreux Jazz Festival.

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear, for the whole round world to hear

What metaphorical chains are holding you back?  Do you wish you could break free of them?  If you do, the best thing is to figure out what caused the chains to be placed on you in the first place and attack the source.  What things do you think you need to say?  That you should say?  Someone said to me the other day I need to speak up.  I thought about this, because I thought that I had said enough to be quite honest.  So I thought about what that actually meant, and realised that I had actually done all I can - it was the people I had expected to take it to the next level, that hadn't moved. Literally.

I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
I wish you could know what it means to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free

I have often wondered about this.  How can you reveal what's in your heart?  Can people be trusted to see what you store in there and if they knew can they be trusted to keep it to themselves?  I think sometimes we need to be vigilant about who we share with and what we share with them.  It's sad to say, but there might instances where you find that you can't trust people.  You might have honest and good intentions, I mean these are the normal emotions that are wrapped up with trust, because you think that by revealing things about yourself, that they can at least understand what it means to be you.  Sometimes people press you for information and want you to reveal pieces of your heart. but once you give them a piece, they don't know what to do with it, or realise it's more than they were willing to accept so they either give it back, throw it back in your face or throw it away when you're not looking.

I wish I could give all I'm longin' to give
I wish I could live like I'm longin' to live
I wish I could do all the things that I can do 
And though I'm way overdue, I'll be startin' anew

Where would you be willing to give all you're longing to give?  How will you be able to live like you're longing to live?  We often hold ourselves from all we can give and how much we can live because we think too much about other people's opinions or we lack the confidence to be all we can be.  I think that even though we may feel in such a rut sometimes about how fast we should be progressing in life, we shouldn't fixate on that.  We learn the lessons we need to learn and once we have completely transformed and learned from those lessons, even if they are overdue. we can always start anew.  What new things are you looking forward to achieving?  What new ways of being will you be exploring?

Well I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
Oh I'd soar to the sun and look down at the sea

It's important to explore and try new things in your life, in whatever situation you find yourself in, because you never know what you're good at until you try it.  There are things that we may not have been exposed to in our natural environments that we may find in other foreign contexts.  We need to be open to that sometimes - we should be open to new experiences and that just because it's not part of our familiar, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It's just unknown.  How would we feel if we suddenly discovered that we could fly, this whole entire time, but didn't even know it?  What a tragedy.

Then I'd sing 'cause I know, yea
Then I'd sing 'cause I know, yea
Then I'd sing 'cause I know, 
I'd know how it feels 
Oh I know how it feels to be free
Yea yea! Oh I know how it feels

I hope that you find your freedom.
The thing about freedom is that for some of us, we surround ourselves with excuses that block us from living it.  But there are people out there who are may not be as free as you and I, who don't have the kind of quality of life, where we take our freedom for granted.  We might never know what this means because wars have been waged in our collective histories that have enabled us to be so free.  But there are instances where I am not as free as I would like to be because I have obligations and duties to fulfil that I must perform.  This doesn't mean that I resent those obligations and duties.  In fact, I'm grateful that I have such responsibilities that have come about as a result of my own capability and capacity to do things, to help make decisions that will ensure the smooth running of things, that will help make other people's lives better.  I hope that at one point in our lives, we should all be able to say, oh I know how it feels to be free. . . 

Monday, 21 November 2016

When you say nothing at all. . .

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain, what I hear when you don't say a thing

Do you have special connections with people?  I often talk about this with my friends where when we think about each other and we might receive a text from each other at the same time.  I have a friend where when we sing together, we might start off in unison and then decide we might want to change to a harmony part, but then we change at the same time, so we change to another harmony part, but end up singing that the same as well.  We always end in fits of laughter.  Often we will do this while we're driving and just laugh until another good song comes on the radio.  Are there things that you can hear when words aren't spoken?  You could be talking to each other's heart without having to part your lips.  If you have connections like this with people, treasure and cherish them.  They don't come by often.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Now you say it best when you say nothing at all

What can smiles really communicate?  You might think that smiles mean good things - but they can also signal times of discomfort or awkwardness as well.  So how do you know the difference?  Can you read something in someone's eyes?  Will you leave someone, even if they don't want you to?  Do you have a connection so strong that you can read those as well?  It might even be as simple as a touch on a shoulder or a touch on the arm that can offer some reassurance that you might be needing.  Often the most meaningful things can be silence.  You just need to know what to listen for.

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mister Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

There is something to said for secrets or masks that can be worn that hide so mamy hidden truths.  Whether you choose to reveal or hint at those to be shared or not is your business.  What are the messages that you want to tell the world?  I am often surprised with how often people can throw words around so easily without really thinking about what they're really saying.  Do you think about the weight in your words before they escape your lips?  What words can the dictionary never hope to define that you say and share with others - or don't say and share?  I have talked before in a previous blogpost, I can't remember when exactly, about heart songs and the secret language that hearts can share.  It reminds me of Happy Feet and the heart songs that the penguins must find that blend with each other.  There are often heart songs that can be broken and mirrored back to you when you least expect.  You just need to know what to listen for.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Now you say it best when you say nothing at all

In a world and in a time when it is so easy to be negative, angry and hurt, choose happiness.
Your situation may call for you to be strong and to dig much deeper within yourself than you have ever had to reach, to really suppress what you are truly thinking and feeling.  Why?  Because people are hell bent on gossiping about you or are quite intent on misunderstanding you anyway.  It's what they do best.  It's what helps them sleep better at night.  Sometimes I think, wouldn't the world be a better place if we all practised. from time to time, the most underrated skill of just saying nothing at all. . . .

Saturday, 19 November 2016

Gone. . .

This is my last goodbye. . . I'm gone. . . 

While I waited for you there was no show
Made myself believe the untrue, how could I not know?
But it seemed easier, just to lie
But I found you out, this is my last goodbye

The truth is so hard to find these days.  Is it because we keep it so buried deep within ourselves that we think that if we let it out, it might ruin our lives?  We've been told that the truth is supposed to set us free, but if things are forged in lies, then we all know that inevitably, this will not end well.  When it seems easier to lie, then that tells you that this thing called life is going to be so much hard work.  Why should we have to work this hard?  I certainly don't want to.  I would rather put time and energy into things that can bring goodness to others.  I'm pretty sure that's a great indicator right?  That we should be thinking about the things that we say and do, that help others in the long run.  This is what humans are supposed to be able to ascertain and carry out.  I guess I've been questioning this a bit lately because being subjected to other people's hidden agendas can take a toll on one's mind.

I heard enough fairy tales back in my youth
So just stop biting your nails and take the painful truth
You just look ridiculous in your disguise
Yes I found you out, this is my last goodbye

I have never understood the appeal of telling lies or being told them.  Once the truth is revealed, it's like a veil has been taken off you and your vision is much sharper in focus.  It's like the scales have dropped from your eyes and even if you tried to see things the same, you just can't.  Knowing the truth, even the painful truth, no matter how painful, is necessary.  I don't care how many times people try to "protect" you or others from the truth, I would definitely prefer the fast ripping off of a band aid, rather than the torturous agonisingly slow tugging at the band aid.  It just hurts more for the victim and there's no compassion there.  Have a little respect and show some compassion.

'Cause it used to be my life and soul
Keeping everything in tune
What the heck man
Last time I checked man
We had it all, it was just me and you
So what happened to you
Thought I knew you
No more chances
I'm gone, gone, gone

I don't know about you, but it can get really tiring trying to keep everything in tune.  It's like you're a master arranger and people expect you to fix their mess of problems.  I think sometimes hang on, I didn't create that, now you want me to fix it?  When did that become my job?  I didn't volunteer to save you?  When you go through your life with this particular role, it can often feel like you are constantly taken for granted, that people assume you will always be there for them and save them no matter what.  No.  There is a limit you see.  But you probably can't see because you're so fixated on your own hidden agenda you didn't bother to check how I'm really doing.  As long as I continue to do things that benefit you, and only you.  Wow.  Last time I checked man, there was a thing called reciprocity.  That's the damage you're causing to my life and soul.  You don't see the impact.  How can you?  All you see is what you want, the mess you've created and the selfish notion that I will keep everything in your life, in tune.

Love's not blind, it's just deaf and dumb
So how could I fool myself thinking you were the one
How sad, how undignified
Now I found you out, this is my last goodbye

I felt like I was placing all my eggs in one basket.  But now I realise you did that deliberately.  You made sure that there was nobody else around that I could trust, because you wanted to be the only one.  This is how you mess with people's emotions right?  I didn't realise how masterful a manipulator you were until I was able to step back and see the art of your design.  If only you spent this much time and effort in creating constructive and meaningful things that didn't have to hurt people in the process - that would be amazing.  Everything you've done has come at no cost to you.  Everyone else around you has paid the price, but you made sure that you didn't have to spend a dime.  That's clever.  That's real cunning.  If I wasn't dragged into the middle of your mess, I would applaud your devious machinations and think I was in some Shakespearean tragedy.  How sad and how undignified indeed.

'Cause when I waited for you there was no show
Made myself believe the untrue, how could I not know?

It's easy to say why I didn't know, couldn't even begin to know  You're just really good at what you do.  That's not a compliment by the way.  Even as I write this, I'm still writing with restraint.  I don't know if you understand the depths of the words I'm using.  I'm not saying that you won't understand the words, because you do.  I just don't think you understand what it means to me.  When you wrong someone, you should try and understand the impact of your actions and words - what effect did the things you said and did have on the skewed or warped reality that was so fake?  Do you even know?  Have you faced that reality really?  I no longer choose to believe the untrue.  Instead, I'm choosing to walk away. I'm done.  I'm gone.  It's the best solution for me and it's the best solution for you too, even if you don't see it now.

Keeping everything in tune
What the heck man
Last time I checked man
We had it all, it was just me and you
So what happened to you
Thought I knew you
No more chances
I'm gone, gone, 
I'm gone, gone, gone

I hope that you get what you want in life.  I'm sorry that I can't be there to cheer you on.  The thing is, I don't want to, I need distance and I need to focus on me.  I've been distracted long enough with your dramas to keep me away from living my destiny so it's time to just stop, take stock and realise, this is over.  Whatever this is.  There are no more chances.  I'm completely out.  I don't think there's anything else you could say or do to change my mind.  In traditional Samoan culture, if you wrong someone, you are meant to go to that person's residence and perform an ifoga - the forgiveness ceremony where you sit in a kneeling position in front of their house, covering your entire body with a fine mat and wait for the aggrieved person to forgive you.  Even if it rained, or there was intense heat from sunny days, no matter how many hours or days, you stayed out there in front of the house until you were forgiven and the victim decided to take the mat off you.  That's how deeply I feel about forgiveness; it's not given lightly and shouldn't even be sought if truth is paramount from the outset.  I guess I don't know how I'll feel in the future.  Nobody knows what tomorrow brings.  But for right now, how I feel today, just leave me alone and let me heal.  For right now, I can no longer give no more chances, I'm gone, gone, I'm gone, gone gone. . . 

Friday, 18 November 2016

Good riddance (time of your life). . .

Are you having the "time of your life"?

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

According to my starsign, I'm supposed to be at the beginning of a new cycle in my life.
If this is anything to go by, then that means that this is a good point to take stock of what I've achieved (or not achieved) over the past few years.  I think this is a natural thing to do, especially if you also happen to be nearing the end of a decade and starting a new one next year.  Where has time directed you to go when it grabbed you by the wrist?  Did you use your time wisely?  Did you manage to see and experience the things that you always wanted?  What lessons have you learned so far in your time?  Have you been able to make time to do the things that you want or saved time so that you could?  Where do you think you're heading in your life with that proverbial fork in the road?

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

I guess the "not knowing" is a good thing right?  When something is unpredictable it might come as a pleasant surprise or a nasty shock.  I think lately I've had a mixed bag - a smattering of pleasant surprises and a couple of nasty shocks.  I guess it's what you do after you react to those surprises and shocks.  I won't bore you with the details of the shocks.  Those stories feel like they belong in the scripts of daytime soaps because the plot lines mirror those perfectly!  But today's latest pleasant surprise?  A mate of mine who is currently teaching in Thailand just told me that his wife is due next month and he's going to name their baby after me.  Granted he said he had thought about it for a very long time and that he always wanted a Māori name (I'm not Māori though, I'm Samoan for those first-time readers of this blog) but he said he's always seen me as one of the biggest influences of his life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

I take photographs with my mind all the time.  When I do workshops with teachers and students one of my techniques for memorising people's names in the room is to take photos of their faces with my mind.  I always have to explain to people that I'm not trying to invade their personal space, but in fact I need to get a little bit closer so that I can memorise the colour of their eyes, the shapes of their faces, how they wear their hair, how their mouths look when they smile; it almost feels like my eyes scan their faces into my memory bank.  Do you have tattoos of memories?  I have a tattoo but it's a cultural one and there's a funny story behind that - my father wanted me to get one and I didn't want it.  But as the dutiful daughter, I did as he wanted and got the tattoo done anyway.  What makes that story funnier is that with all the brothers I have - I'm the one with the tattoo (yes, the sole girl in the family).  I guess if life teaches us anything, it's about never having regrets about things that happen to you - even the bad stuff.  Why?  Because those bad times and bad people teach us how to be resilient and what not to do, who not to be and where not to go.  As bad as things get, there will always be a remnant of it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

I hope that I will continue to have more unpredictable things even - more of the pleasant surprises and the nasty shocks.  I mean, aren't these the very things that make up our lives?  We can't only have good times, there must be a mix of bad times too - and these help to lead us to that fork in the road so that we can make important decisions.  In the end, do we know that it's right?  Will we arrive at the right end?  Is that the right end?  Who knows right?  As long as you have the time of your life.  As for me, despite whatever difficulties float my way, I know I will eventually have the time of my life.  It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. . . 

Thursday, 17 November 2016

Go back to your life. . .

When you're trying to get through life and people keep trying to pull you back. . . 

Go on back to your life
The way it used to be before you met me
Stop holding on, baby, let it go
'Cause it ain't gonna be different
'Cause we don't want to

When things happen and you're trying to get through it on your own, there might be people who persist in trying to pull you back in their vortex of bullshit.  What do you do?  There's so many things that you want to say, but you might not be inclined to say them because if they come from a place of anger - what good would that do?  They've already hurt you anyway so why contribute to that cycle of drama?  They might have betrayed you on a previous occasion but you forgave quickly then because you thought being connected to them was worth it, you were willing to overlook how you had been wronged, because you cared, you loved them as deeply as friends love people they care about.

And you, you've got so much goin' on
And I don't want you from comin' into your own
And it's been so good, so good, (oh my goodness it was just too good to be true) so good, too good

Of course it's easy to see that they are coming into their own if you were the one responsible for challenging them to grow and to feel the fear of growth and do it anyway.  They might have lashed out at you from time to time and you took it in your stride.  Why?  Not because you like to be abused, but because you were stronger than their weaknesses and you'd been through all the spiritual changes that they're only now starting to experience.  Do you need to hold onto their hand and guide them through every single step?  No. You don't need to.  Because you've shown them enough times already how they need to do things but they insist on having you there by their side to do things.  They might have even done things and achieved accomplishments by mimicking things you've done, but you didn't even know until they admitted it.  Flattered or flummoxed?  I don't even know anymore.  The ironic thing is, no matter what anybody did to me,  I would still want them to do well in life. Why?  Because everyone is entitled to success. Even those who I should think don't deserve it because of how they've treated me - to me, that's just stupid.  I guess that shows the emotional maturity I have.  In saying that, I'm not stupid either.  Excuses and apologies mean nothing without action.

Beautiful you are, I can't take that from you

But I'm beautiful too
The sooner we get through this thing
We can be free

The sooner you can get through the valley of confusion and veer away from the valley of death (right next to the valley of denial) then you can truly start to live your life.  If you have invested time and energy into people who see nothing wrong with taking from you, taking advantage of your generosity, taken your love for their growth and wellbeing and used it to put themselves ahead in life, to abuse your trust and make you second guess things about yourself that you now realise were weaknesses that they had in themselves - then you know what decision that you need to make.  Do you want to get to a place of being "fine" again?  Lately I've been questioning what it means to be fine anymore.  Over thinking it just makes it over rated anyway.

Go on back (go ahead) back to your life (it's ok)
The way it used to be before you loved me (ditto)

I hope that you just stand still for a minute.  Just stop what you're doing.  Think very carefully and seriously about your actions - why do you do what you do? Have you thought about the impact of your actions on others?  I would like to think that the way I do things is in the best interests of others - never my own self serving interest.  This is because I've been told that my life is about helping others, not about myself.  All I can do is use who I am and what I can do to benefit others.  But there is a distinct difference between that and having others try to take advantage of who you are and what you can do to benefit them at the expense of your peace of mind and well being.  This is where I draw the line.  This is why I say go on back (go ahead) back to your life (it's ok), the way it used to be before you used me. . .

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

A beautiful day. . .

Note to self - no matter what's going on in the world. never lose sight of your place in it. . . 

Life is a journey
Not a destination
There are no mistakes
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets 'cause all we have is now

The beauty of reflecting and thinking through some really difficult situations that you find yourself in, can result in some real meaningful learning for yourself.  If you are mad about something, you are totally entitled to stay mad until it rides its course out naturally.  I don't see anything wrong with that.  I think sometimes if we try to prevent ourselves from experiencing negative feelings, we find that we don't know how to experience these feelings by stretching it, testing it and knowing how we look and really feel when we aren't at our best.  I mean, how do you know what your best is supposed to look like when you don't know what you look like at your worst?

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all the things I'm grateful for

When you wake up, what mental list do you run through in your head?  I think when people ask me, why is it you're so happy or seem so calm, well it's because I choose to see each day as one that is full of hope, that is full of gratitude and one where I will choose how it turns out and being mindful of people around me when I have interactions.  Sometimes I think that means that I probably work harder than a lot of people in the room as I'm going into emotional intelligence overload, but I don't see any reason why you can't use this gift to be of use to others.  We just need to be aware of the difference between being of use - and being abused.  I see the two as being like how we define normal and abnormal - where one seems to be an accepted and healthy way of seeing something or engaging in something with consent, while the other is when your agency or autonomy is stamped out by someone who manipulates you, who abuses your gifts and talents to further their agenda, as a means to their end.

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Today I'm in my national's capital city for work.  There was an earthquake here a few days ago that measured close to 8 on the richter scale, a lot higher than first thought.  I am very lucky that we were able to land the plane this morning and now as I write to you, I'm sitting in the lounge area blogging this while waiting for a return flight home.  I don't want to count my chickens though, as there is supposed to be a storm that is hitting us in a few hours, so we'll see if my flight gets cancelled.  I haven't been to sleep yet.  I mean, I tried to on the plane, but I sat next to a colleague who was joining me at the meeting today, so we chatted instead about what our new hopes, new dreams and new ways would be for the new year.  I don't know what came over me at that moment, but I had an overwhelming sense of hope and self love hit that made me smile, as even though I was extremely tired, I still wanted to hear about what her plans were as the uncertainty of the job market in our line of work is an ever present thing that people are reluctant to talk about.

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon' do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

How will you open your heart today?  How will you do your part today?  When we walked into the lounge just before, one of the workers was trying to fit all of the empty plates, cups and glasses, cutlery included, all on his one tray.  When I looked at him, it was just in time to watch him drop everything and hear a loud smash as a breadplate cracked in half, muffin wrappers flew everywhere and coffee cups with coffee still in them stained the wooden floor.  He seemed embarrassed.  I noticed nobody stood up to help him and he dropped my bag and jacket to quickly help him pack up as much of what he had dropped to avoid further embarrassment.  One patron gave a snide remark. and the worker whispered, "It's alright, you don't have to do that".  I replied, "no, it's alright.  I don't mind helping you."  I looked up at the patron who had made the snide remark and he quickly wiped the smirk off his face.  I just think sometimes, it doesn't matter how you open up your heart or do your part - it's important to make someone's day a positively beautiful one - no matter how your own seems to fluctuate, rising and falling like the ebbs and flows of the tide, washing people to shore that you keep saving.

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you've got something to prove
Remind yourself that there's only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are

I hope that you don't get too bogged down with things that you can't control because you let it consume you and take over all other rational thoughts that should be occupying your mind.  If you are hurting, it might take time to heal the pain you are suffering from, because your transgressor has violated boundaries that you thought you had established.  If you ever feel that you have anything to prove, do it for yourself and nobody else.  We should be at a point where we are our greatest competition, nobody else.  When we start to lose sight of the beauty that we behold of ourselves. this means that you are starting to lose focus on what you should be doing - and really, it's just doing something as simple as having a beautiful day. . 

It's too late. . .

When you need to realise that "it's too late"

Stayin' in bed all mornin' just to pass the time
There's somethin' wrong here, there can be no denyin'
One of us is changin', or maybe we just stopped tryin'

How do you know when relationships or friendships end?  What circumstances or chain of events lead to its imminent demise?  Sometimes it might be hard to pinpoint exactly because people start blaming each other for things that we all know - only happen because of reactions or responses to actions that people do.  When you are backed into a corner do you cower or do you counterattack?  We might even think that we do things because we think they are the best things to do - but in actual fact, they come from places of selfishness, self service and just being plain self centred.

And it's too late baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide
And I just can't fake it oh no no

Did you really try to make it though?  Did you try to make it together?  When something dies inside you, it's gone, it can't be revived and you need to start grieving for the loss and emptiness that will ensue.  But what if you're the kind of person that refuses to give up?  You know in your heart of hearts that there is a slim chance that it hasn't really died and all it needs is just some love and attention to bring it back to life?  You might also be the kind of person to accept that you know what, it was good while it lasted, but now that I've stepped back a little bit and gained some perspective, it had a shelf life but it isn't intended to have a future.  Are there things that you aren't prepared to fake anymore?  We live in such a processed world and celebrate and glorify the artificial when actually it's the artifice that lies beneath that we should be giving a standing ovation.  Well played, well played.

It used to be so easy livin' here with me
You were light and breezy, an' I knew just what to do 
Now you look so unhappy and I feel like a fool

When things are easy, it's usually because you don't have to work so hard at something or there might be some real fake things going on that are undetected by normal human emotions.  I say normal human emotions because in the past few months I've seen abnormal human emotions (and we're not just talking the U.S elections here).  What drives us to be unhappy or feel like fools?  I think it depends on the situation and the content of the context, but for the most part, I think a lot about how people say and do things to protect their ego, which they might prize over everything else.  Have you been accused of having unflattering attributes?  Like when people might say you're over bearing, perceived as someone who has all the answers (hang on, that could be a good thing either way) or they say you degrade others.  I mean, if you get this type of criticism the natural reaction is to get all defensive and think no, I'm not like that at all.  But if you are a deeply reflective person, you can look inside yourself and really examine if these are true.  You might be surprised to find out that no, you're none of those things but the person accusing you of those things is experiencing what we call in amateur psychology as transference.  They start accusing of attributes that they might have shown to others in their own childhood - but now it's resurfacing as an adult.

There'll be good times again for me and you
But we just can't stay together, don't you feel it too?
Still I'm glad for what we had and how I once loved you

I hope that you will experience good times again.  It might not happen overnight, but maybe 5, 10 or 15 years down the track, you might be able to reconnect with someone and sort out your issues and things may be light and breezy again; nobody will need to look so unhappy or feel like a fool again.  We need to also remember that we must be grateful for what has happened, because it is all a part of our learning and leads us to where destiny intends for us to live.  If we keep trying to press things now and it's broken, maybe it's because we're not meant to fix it right now.  It's too late baby, it's too late now darling, it's too late. . .

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

I want to tell you. . .

Conversation peace - for peace of mind. . . 

I want to tell you
My head is filled with things to say
When you're here
All those words, they seem to slip away

When your head is filled with too many things, could it possibly be because there are too many lies in there and you have to keep track of what you said to certain people at certain times?  I've often told my students in the classroom - if you lie, and you're not good at it, don't do it.  The thing about being a fantastic liar is that you become so good at the lies that you tell, that you might eventually get caught out, especially if you can't remember all of the lies, the web of deceit.  Soon you start to entangle yourself in all of those lies and think, what have I done?  How do I get myself out of this?  How can I even begin to unravel what's in front of me?

When I get near you
The games begin to drag me down
It's alright
I'll make you maybe next time around

The thing with games, you have to know if the rules of the game are understood by all the players.  When I play card games or board games, the thing I hate the most is when the person introducing the games, reveals the rules as the game progresses, rather than give out all the rules at once.  Why do people do that?  Why do people move goalposts or pull out the rug from underneath you?  Is this so that they can still stay in play if they're lagging behind or to stop you from running?  Or are they playing strategically so that they can protect the other players in the game?  So that as long as you don't beat their other player, then that's all that matters.  When people play mind games or other such games that involves feelings, particularly trust, then that's an even more dangerous game to play.  Because when someone loses trust in you, it's so hard to build that back up, if you can even find the building blocks to begin with.

But if I seem to act unkind
It's only me, it's not my mind
That is confusing things

Once again we come back to the lies.  The side effects of lying is that, we think that by telling similar versions to the truth, that we're ok.  We will never be found out.  We will be totally safe.  But if you keep telling those stories, you end up with subtle variations of that original lie and you pad things out thinking that adding detail is the best thing to do - but no - everyone knows that if you're going to lie that you do it simply.  Keep it simple.  Give a truly plausible excuse.  Don't give other impertinent and irrelevant pieces of information.  If you know that you don't have a strong mind, then the only solution is not to confuse it or things by being stupid.

I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don't know why
I don't mind
I could wait forever, I've got time

Consider the reasons for why you might be hung up.
You might already know the reasons but in order for those reasons to become solutions, it might be far far away from your sphere of influence.  So what do you do?  You might have to wait for other things to happen, by other people to consider moving, in order for you to get what you want.  Sometimes we might think forever is such a long time and we're impatient - when in actual fact it's only been a day.  The desperation that we might have in wanting things to go, will only seek to not make it so.  I think people that are often anxious and worry about things - need to just breathe, calm down and focus on other things that bring joy and happiness, keep things light so that they can have some semblance of being able to function in reality.  What do you do to give you joy?  What do you do when people try to steal or diminish that joy?

Sometimes I wish I knew you well
Then I could speak my mind and tell you
Maybe you'd understand

Sometimes people might think that they need to tell you everything, when actually, they should only be telling you the parts that are relevant to you. It's like when you think you're catching the express bus but the driver is taking the scenic route.  What thoughts go through your mind while you're silently screaming on the inside?  "Why am I seeing these things?  Why are you telling me this?  I don't want to know this!".  When you know something, you can't un-know it.  Something unknown is having no knowledge of it whatsoever.  Sometimes I wish I was in that state - didn't know anything at all.  It would make life so much easier.  And then I think about why I know things - I'm meant to know because there are obviously things that I can do to improve the situation. I guess it comes down to a question of - do I want to help?  That's a whole other situation.  If people knew me well, they would know.

I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don't know why
I don't mind
I could wait forever, I've got time, I've got time, I've got time. . . 

I hope that if you are prepared to wait, that you do other things in the meantime to improve yourself, to make you happy in the meantime, because who knows how long forever actually is.  Worst case scenario could mean never, who knows.  So while you've got the time, use that time wisely, use that time efficiently to make things happen the way you want them to.  As for me, I'll be focusing on what I need to do for myself in the next couple of years, because who knows when my forever will start. That's all  I want to tell you. . . 

Baby can I hold you . . .

This blog post is dedicated to anyone who has ever been betrayed . . . 

Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry like sorry

I always hate it when people find it hard to say sorry.  I have tried to learn to say sorry if I have offended others as quickly as possible, but that's because I learned how it feels when people haven't said sorry to me when they have offended me.  If you take a step back and take a critical look at what it means to be sorry - was the intent really there?  Why are we sorry?  Do we apologise when we need to?  I've always thought that if you took your time apologising to someone after so many misdeeds have been done, you are well within your rights to not accept it until you're ready.  You could acknowledge it if you like, but accepting it is another story.  Of course there are things that you can't say sorry for because once things are done, you can't undo them.

Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

When someone has wronged you and wants to apologise to you, how easy will you give your forgiveness?  Words may not come easily because it's words that got in the way in the first place.  Have you had many occasions in your life where people have sought your forgiveness?  Were the things they did particularly bad?  Did they betray you?  What were the grounds for betrayal?  I guess the time factor is a huge thing too, about when the right time is to ask for forgiveness - letting someone have time to process information shared or expecting an answer immediately.

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine

When you hear the second line in the chorus - is it a question or a statement?   Will you allow someone to be close to you again when they have wronged you?  I guess holding someone is easier than saying things that might steer you down the wrong path again.  Would you want to belong to someone else?  What would the right words be?  Sometimes if we hear the right words, they might come at the wrong time, or we might not even believe that the right words would ever come true.

I love you
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like I love you I love you

I love you.
Three simple words but they mean so much.  They mean different things to different people.
When people can't tell you how they feel and what's really on their mind, it's mostly because they can't understand how you're going to receive the information and what you will do about it once you know.  People can tell you everything and come clean, but you might not necessarily want to take what they have to say at face value.

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine

I hope that when you find the right words, that you can say them with conviction and without anymore deceit or lies wrapped around them to coat them, to hide and conceal what the reality truly is.  I hope that when things eventually work out to where you want to be, when the dust has settled from the bombs that have been dropped. that you can start to think about yourself for a change and what you need to do in your life.  When pain or betrayal hits you, there will be some healing that needs to take place and deciding for yourself how you will live out the rest of your life, or at least know what direction you are going to take things.  When you thought maybe if I told you the right words, you should have thought about the impact of those words and what it means for what's to come. . .

Sunday, 13 November 2016

Leaving the table. . .

This blog post is a tribute to Leonard Cohen

It took a while to pick the right song to pay tribute to the man who is most well known for his song Hallelujah, yet here we are.  A man who rose to fame much later in his own life than his contemporaries, he showed great skill in poetry,  a natural way with words that he knew could be channelled into songwriting.  Sometimes the end result wasn't quite how he had envisaged, particularly when he worked with Phil Spector so he tried to rerelease another version of that album in the way that the wanted (which didn't make a difference to the critics but made a heck of a lot of difference to his sense of self respect).

I'm leaving the table
I'm out of the game
I don't know the people
In your picture frame
If I ever loved you, oh no, no
It's a crying shame
If I ever loved you
If I knew your name

Do we know when we need to leave the table?  We often might overstay our welcome at some place or we linger a little too long in the hopes of anticipating a moment that could drastically change or heighten the events at the table.  The possibilities of what could be may over romanticise something that was never intended to be seen in that light.   I guess you could put it down to trying to figure out what needs to be done in order for some kind of solution or reality being restored to the chaos or fake facade that's being going on the entire time.  These references to "if" in the final lines of the verse announce a kind of uncertainty that makes you think that these are the variables that stood in the way of knowing something or someone absolutely.

You don't need a lawyer
I'm not making a claim
You don't need to surrender
I'm not taking aim
You don't need a lover, oh no, no
The wretched beast is tame
I don't need a lover
So blow out the flame

What are the things that you know that you no longer need?  When we reach a point of realisation, it's definitely like a eureka moment where things suddenly start to make sense - then you wonder why you never saw the signs before.  Well that's because you weren't ready to see things clearly before, you weren't ready yet.  When do get to place and a space when you are content with knowing what it is that you need and what you want?  Sometimes what we want doesn't last longer than what we need, but that's because we need to really know what we need, and be willing to hear it when the time comes.

There's nobody missing
There is no reward
Little by little
We're cutting the cord
We're spending the treasure, oh no, no
That love cannot afford
I know you can feel it
The sweetness restored

What sweetness are you hoping to be restored?  There might be some distance that is required in order to gain some clearer clarity and understanding in your life.  Distance from what you ask?  It could be from what you normally do, particularly if it's part of your humdrum routine that doesn't really do anything to advance where you should be heading (if you really know where your destiny is meant to lead).  What treasure could you possibly be spending as love is probably the most expensive, the most valuable of all treasure, but I guess in order to claim the treasure, you must be prepared to go through a lot, like on some epic adventure or journey to experience it as sweetness restored.

I don't need a reason
For what I became
I've got these excuses
They're tired and they're lame
I don't need a pardon, no no, no no, no
There's no one left to blame
I'm leaving the table
I'm out of the game
I'm leaving the table
I'm out of the game

I hope that whatever situations you find yourself in life,  you know that you can leave the table at any time.  It's hard to stand up and step away as people would probably think you're a quitter, but in actual fact, you've arrived at your natural state of being; things were meant to pan out this way but you just held on for dear life because you knew no other way.  What excuses are you making for yourself to stop you from progressing to where you need to be?  I think if we can take responsibility and be accountable for what actions we have taken in the past that have hurt others, or learn from those times and promise not to hurt others again.

Thanks Leonard Cohen for your contribution to poetry and music.
I can only hope that I will know when it's time for me to move, so that I can make plans to be leaving the table. . . 

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Sure looks good to me. . .

To everyone voting in the American election - I'm hoping the outcome sure looks good to me. . . 

Life is cheap bitter sweet
But it tastes good to me
Take my turn, crash and burn
It's how it's supposed to be

What kind of life are you living?  Are we all satisfied with the quality of life that we have?  What changes do we need to make in order to be at peace with what we have, have intentions and then work for what we want?  I think that if we do fall in our turns and crash and burn, this is all part of the journey in this world that we share with others.  I think depending on your taste, you can flavour your life to taste and maybe even add some new spices that you've heard about but been too afraid to try.

So don't rain on my parade
Life's too short to waste one day
I'm gonna risk it all, the freedom to fall
Yes it sure looks good to me

Part of me thought about this song as the world waits with bated breath for the results of the American election.  It has definitely been the worst reality show that nobody ever dreamed would come true.  Can you imagine the kind of world we would live in if we let fear and hatred rule our nations?  Why would we want to alienate those supposed illegal aliens who historically would have helped to build the great nation that is America?  Sara Bareilles wrote a line in her recent song where she was asked to write from the perspective of the POTUS about his thoughts on this election - the united divided states.  Is this the type of parade we're going to see at the end of this election?  It's not about winning anymore is it, it's just about having a presidential candidate become the presidential elect who can continue to be the world leader that all other nations look to for reason and integrity.

Time passed by and leaves you behind
Taken as you leave
Heaven knows (oh) there's so much more 
More than what we see

Even in our little corner of the world, in Aotearoa New Zealand, all we have been bombarded with has been images and stories, countless perspectives and the media circus that churns out and generates so much stuff, that we know there's still much more that we have not been allowed to see.  I mean, if we think what we're currently seeing is bad - what's the really bad stuff that has been censored or buried?  What won't see the light of the day?  Heaven really would know that there's so much more.  Part of me thinks, gees, let's be grateful that the worst of it hasn't seen the light of day yet.  It's all about the lesser of two evils in the world right?  Better the devil that you know has experience, rather than the devil who talks a big game but hasn't rolled with the big boys at the big world leaders' table.

Deep in my mind I'm secure we can buy
I wanna life before I die or I lie in an empty space
The darkness comes and I've been telling my soul
And me and myself we turn around, we're getting old

Have we started to lose sight of our humanity in this election?  As an outsider there have been so many shots fired and I think if the election campaigns were depicted as one of the epic battles that feature so prominently in American civil war history - which side would we even want to win?  What will you tell your soul about how you voted on this day?  I ask this question because the majority of readers of my blog, are actually from the United States.  Will you proud of yourselves when you get old and look back on how you voted in 2016?  4 years is a long time to see something good, something bad or something even worse - the world not showing any confidence in being anywhere what will eventuate after this election.  The ripple effect is too big to ignore and as much as I've tried to avoid it in my own daily life, it will definitely have an impact on my tiny nation and this region of the world that relies on decisions made half a world away.

But the lightning, crashing, foolish emotions
Of the bruises and the beauty of this moment that we're feeling
And I feel like I'm seeing this world inside of me
But I can tell you no, it's getting easy and I'm free

Watching Bernie Sanders in the primaries before a democratic candidate was finalised, was like watching poetry in motion.  There was no doubt that this was a man that would be the voice of the people, surely this working man's champion and this servant of the people would be the hero that had been the one of prophecies.  But instead the world watched in despair, when the rules of how things work started to make things not work and we were left bereft of a man who had lived his entire life for the social justice of humanity and equitable outcomes for all.  Have our bruises healed enough so that we can enjoy the beauty of the moment that we're feeling?

There's a cold in the morning, endless equation
Of who we've become, it's a complex situation
So live, love, lie, give love
Live, love, lie and give love
Live, love, lie and give love

I hope that the outcome of this election will be one where the candidate will follow through with policies that allow the American people to continue to be the leading lights of truth and justice.  I sincerely hope that no blood will be shed following this outcome and that these united divided states that we've heard about so far in this election will unite again.  I can't help but think, in fact, I hope and believe that peace will come.  What kind of world do we want to live in?  What kind of people do we want to be?  Do we want to be inclusive and show love to others who need it the most - even to those who don't show love to anybody who is different to them on a daily basis?  I would like to think that we know exactly what we need to do, need to know and need to feel in order to be complete human beings who care deeply for others.  I fervently hope and believe this to be true, because it shouldn't only be how we're supposed to be, it's who we are anyway. . . it sure looks good to me. . . 

Monday, 7 November 2016

Love will never do without you. . .

This blog post is dedicated to all my friends whose lives will never do without their loves. . . 

Our friends think we're opposites
Falling in and out of love
They all said we'd never last
Still we manage to stay together
There's no easy explanation for it
But whenever there's a problem
We always work it out somehow
Work it out somehow

I know a few friends who are going through some tough relationship issues at the moment.  Listening to their stories has inspired this particular song choice, because they have all expressed undying love for their partners, in spite of everything that they have been put through (weaker people would've left the relationship I tell you), but no, they choose to stay because in the past they have always been able to push through any problems that have come their way.  This is what you sign up for when you make your promises with your wedding vows, or if you haven't formalised such promises in such a ceremony, but there is an understanding that you would've shared about your thoughts and position on the type of relationship you are engaged in - the parameters of your love and the types of things you would do for each other, to support each other, honour and respect about each other because that's what love is supposed to do and be.

They said it wouldn't last
We had to prove them wrong
'Cause I've learned in the past
That love will never do without you

When you're in a relationship there will always be critics or supporters.  They will all have opinions about how your relationship is going (or not) and offer advice that is warranted (or not) because they say they come from a place of caring about you and wanting what is best for you.  When you are in a relationship where you have overcome so many obstacles to be together, you come to cherish the progress you have made and come to appreciate how your love has evolved.  What lessons have you learned in your past that have taught you how to approach love today?

Other guys have tried before
To replace you as my lover
Never did I have a doubt
Boy it's you I can't do without
I feel better when I have you near me
'Cause no other love around
Has quite the same ooh ooh (ha ha)
Like you do do do do babe

Other things (or people) might cross your path too and start to test your relationship.  I always wondered why when you were married, that people saw that as some kind of challenge to come and lure you away?  Maybe we're not as strong as we would like to think in a marriage or maybe we need to be?  Maybe we rely too much on others for our happiness when we should be creating our own happiness and just simply share it?  Do we need to start thinking more clearly about how we are loving these days and not worry too much about losing that love?  As important as it is to let someone know how much we feel about them, we can't also forget that we shouldn't lose who we are as an individual in that love equation, because we tend to always add so much to the relationship, while others will be more than happy (without thinking) simply take it away without warning.

They said it wouldn't last
We had to prove them wrong
'Cause I've learned in the past
That love will never do without you

I hope that the love you have will last.  When people doubt or question why you love, it has more to do with their own personal issues about their own situation, and nothing to do with you and yours.  To what extent should we let our past dictate who we become today?  We get to decide how much or how little what we have learned in the past gets to have a bearing on what we have today.  I guess it just comes down to you really understanding what it is you actually have.  Is it a simple enough question to answer?  You don't know then maybe there are some unanswered questions that you need to tend to, but however you decide what direction to take - whether you choose to hold onto that love or let it go, just remember that there was once upon a time when you were able to say love will never do without you. . .