Monday, 10 October 2016

Alone but not lonely. . .

I had thought about so many songs to write about over the past few months and they were all from a wide range of songs from different genres.  I guess the thing I love the most about music is its ability to capture moods or feelings around me, about me and how I reflect how the sound moves me or how the lyrics speak to me.  One thing I've been able to count on is how constant music can be, when people are not, and that may not necessarily be a bad thing.  Being able to appreciate what it means to be alone and doing things on your own, doesn't necessarily mean that you are lonely.  You could still be with people, spending time with them, but still feel alone, because they don't really know you, understand you, and may think that they do, when they don't.

I haven't a reason, a clue or a sign
I haven't the slightest idea
Of the shape of your heart or the state of your mind
Do you ever let anyone near?
Do you ever reach out with arms open wide
Do you ever jump in closing your eyes
Or are you one of the fortunate kind 
Alone but not lonely

Does anyone ever really have the right reasons, clues, signs or ideas to know, think or feel things about anyone?  What reliable indicators can we rely on?  Could you even rely on yourself?  I've often heard people say that they can't trust themselves when they are around certain people and I can recall incidents in the past during my early college days where I've had to be there physically, in order to stop my friends from making mistakes.  When we let people near, is it because it's healthy to do so?  Should we continue to get burned by flames, because as moths, we just can't help but be attracted to their light?  We might be mistaking their light for something that blinds us to all else.

Every day on the street I study their faces
The ones who rush on through the crowds
Towards their own quiet worlds, their separate places
Somewhere I'm never allowed
Cause I've always been one to say what I need
And then the next thing it's done, and I'm watching 'em leave
And I'm thinking, I wish I could be
Alone but not lonely

Do you always say what you need?  It might not always be something easy that you can do, because you can only say what you need when you're pushed to it, or someone demands you admit it.  If you're a people watcher, you might like to do this while sitting on a park bench and watching everybody rushing past you, as you catch a glimpse of their internal thought processes written on their faces, those fleeting moments of creased and furrowed brow lines that paint a story of worry or determination to get to their next destination point.  When people leave you might have mixed emotions.  You never know how much they mean to you or whether you are able to accurately determine for yourself how you truly perceive things.  

So which one are you tonight?
Do you change with the morning light?
Do you say more than what sounds right?
Do you say what you mean?

Instrumental interlude

Do you know which one you are?  As with all other songs that I've written about, the instrumental interlude gives us time to digest the lyrics of the song, sit deeply in the music and enjoy the instrumentation that helps to articulate the melody and explore the harmony.  I'm a strong a believer in being a melody of the universe and surrounding myself with the right harmony so that there are people that I connect strongly with.  Some harmonies will come more naturally and resonate more than others and on some level, we may not understand why that is; it just is.  

So which one are you tonight?
Do you change with the morning light?
Do you say more than what sounds right?
Do you say what you mean?

People say things look better in the morning, particularly if you are going through some issues.  But in actual fact, the morning light serves to show things more clearly, to see things during the day that the night tries so hard to conceal.  If we try too hard to say more than what's right, does this mean that we aren't actually saying the right things?  What are the right things anymore?  Watching the presidential debates of late makes me think about how Americans should be voting for the devil with more experience than for the devil without.  When you go to examine all of the times that you say what you mean - can you give yourself a percentage about how much you do this?  Can we be real with ourselves in this regard?  If we say what we mean, do the words hang in the air between ourselves and the person we are saying them to?  Does the other person take those words and use it to shape their actions in response to you?  Is this the more that we have been looking for?

There are moments that are meant to be held
Like fragile breakable things
There are others that pass us, you can't even tell 
Such is their grace and their speed
And this one is gone in the blink of an eye
You can ask me the truth but tonight I will lie
Unflinching I'll tell you that I'm alone but not lonely

There will be moments shared where you would have had the opportunity to say things, but you didn't.  It may make sense to not fully explain something or choose to leave things unsaid, because there are no right words to say - it's not about being right anymore is it?  You will lie because it's the easy thing to do and if we were all truly real with each other, we would spend far too much time trying to understand each other and not get anything done.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to understand each other, but I just don't think we should be overthinking stuff either.  Things, people and opportunities may well pass us by and we can't even tell, but we never really notice anything or anyone that wasn't meant to pique our curiosity or interest, or meant to make some lasting impression on us in some form or other.  I can tell you what I mean.  I'm not saying that I will be single for the rest of my life and there's nothing wrong with that.  I'm just happy right now being alone but not lonely. . .