Sunday, 25 September 2016

King of anything. . .

Keep drinkin' coffee 
Stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I'd say if I were able
But I just keep quiet
And count the cars that pass by

Having disagreements and arguments are common, particularly when you don't see eye to eye with someone.  Poor communication or stubbornness can lead to this taking place and resolutions can evade you when you are more hell bent on being right, rather than solving any problems or issues.  When you are in a potential conflict with someone - do you proceed to go 'all in' and give them a piece of your mind until you've let it all out of your system, or do you go 'all quiet' and prefer to avoid talking about anything?  Sometimes it might be easier to say nothing and wait for things to settle down a bit before people say things they might regret.  Have a think about other parties normally respond in a situation with you - because this might give you some greater insight into why they do the things they do, why they say the things they say, why they don't do the things they don't do, why they don't say the things they don't say.

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked
So let me thank you for your time
And try not to waste anymore of mine
Get out of here fast

I think as we grow older we should be learning more about how to respond with kindness to things that people say; we can weigh things up in two ways - whether they are true or not, and depending on whether they are true or not, so what?  Will we do anything to address any issues?  We can choose to be upset about any feedback we're given (unsolicited or not) and make decisions about how we can use that feedback to improve our personality, inform our character traits and how we interact with others.  It's always harder to take the high road right?  But it's a road less travelled and one worth traveling once you get past the obstacles and the special shoes you need to wear to endure the journey.

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

People may rely on you to save them, or probably don't realise that they've been asking you to save them through their actions, because they haven't realised they haven't verbalised their desires either.  How do we break news to people who refuse to listen?  How do we tell people that there is nobody to save, and even if there is, aren't we responsible for our own salvation?  Breaking news to people is always hard and when you do, be prepared to be attacked or blamed for the message, when all you're being is the messenger.  You might be the only person who allows yourself to be that emotional punching bag when they aren't equipped to look at themselves in the mirror to deal with their own issues.  But that's ok.  Well, it's not ok.  But when they are ready to see that they are the ones drowning, be ready to use your lifeguard skills again.  It's what you're good at after all.

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

I would expect that someone who would be the king of anything, would be someone who has the ability to make decisions on behalf of others with benevolent rule, be able to preside over a kingdom, commanding loyalty from his subjects.  If we were kings, do we inspire confidence from others in our ability to rule in our respective kingdoms?  I think there is much to learn in truly being able to 'agree to disagree'.  There are still people who insist on there being a consensus to be reached in order for harmony to be felt across the land, but we must be aware that being able to disagree with someone can be done in a perfectly amicable and amenable manner.  It does take a while to get to that point though, because it requires really effective listening skills, the ability to question people without them feeling interrogated, but more to do with power relations that allow power to flow between people.

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best
But you expect me to
Jump on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

When people focus on living their blind reality because they can't see the signposts, blatantly disregard the speed limits on their journey, it is little wonder that they don't reach their desired destinations.  You might have embarked on a quest that seemed worthwhile and it still probably is, but you realise that you were ill prepared and you start blaming people for believing in you in the first place.  I don't think I have ever blamed others for putting me in positions where I felt out of my depth - and even if they did so out of malice or out of genuine belief in me - I fought hard to rise to the occasion, I still do.  Even when I finally listen and it is hard to hear.  After all, they're just telling me what they think of me.  It's the actions you take after the listening that help you - if you let it.  So how can we let others know to avoid those delusional sunsets?  How do we find strength to disassociate ourselves from being on that pathway too?

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction oh
But you'll never see
You're so busy makin' maps
With my name on them in all caps
You got the talkin' down
Just not the listening

When you are accused of not listening, either it's true or the accuser has some issues with listening themselves, heck, there's always room for improvement in this area and it really is super hard to really listen to each other.  When we stop listening to each other, it is easy to blame others for things that have happened to you (legitimately so, I'm not referring to playing victim when you actually put yourself in those situations knowing full well what the consequences would be) or to rely on assumptions and not ask questions to solve problems, rather than run away or avoid each other.  But this too shall pass and people are allowed to form opinions about what they think they need to do to preserve their own sanity.  It's when talking supersedes listening that we start to wonder, why do we surround ourselves with this on a daily basis?

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I 
Just hurt and hide
Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn

I hope that even when we get hurt by our nearest and dearest, that we develop the resilience to rise above it all, because there are more important things to do than lick our wounds all the time - especially if they are the same wounds that keep getting cracked and infected, as we allow ourselves to be hurt each time.  Why would you put yourself in harm's way?  Is this some sort of sick self inflicted punishment that you think you deserve, because you think you don't deserve real happiness or genuine affection from others?  Don't stand for it.  Life is too short for you to suffer other people's crap. On the flip side, you're probably overthinking this, but hey at least you know you're alive right?  What can you say to these people that feel that they have the right to say things about you even when all you've done is put them first and help them out?  Let me hold your crown, babe. . .