Monday, 29 August 2016

Spotlight. . .

Are you a man who loves and cherishes and cares for me?
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah?
Are you a guard in a prison maximum security?
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah eh
Do we stay home all the time cause you want me to yourself?
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah?
Or am I locked away out of fear that I'd find someone else
Is that you? Is that you? Yea hey

There's nothing that puts women off more than really possessive or obsessive men.  Have you come across men like this in your life?  It's not fun is it?  Maybe you're a possessive or obsessive man reading this blog post right now. How would you even know?  Do you think it's normal behaviour for a man to try and control a woman's comings and going, to make all the decisions for her and pretty much lock her away from society?  I know some men who would like to have women all to themselves and they love having power over women.  It's disturbing to say the least, and I don't think we talk about it enough.  The most extreme cases of course end up in relationships filled with domestic violence and worse - might even end up with their lives taken out of their own hands.

Well I don't like living under your spotlight
Just because you think I might find somebody worthy
Oh I don't like living under your spotlight
Maybe if you treat me right you won't have to worry

This speaks to me of paranoia. When a man willingly and knowingly stops you from living your normal everyday life, alarm bells should be ringing.  You shouldn't be thinking that it's ok to be demeaned or treated in this way because deep down inside, he really does love you.  In fact, no.  He doesn't love you, he loves himself and wants you to love him unconditionally.  That spotlight that he continually shines on you is so that he can see you wherever you might go, as you have every right to wander freely to all the places that you go, or might like to go.  Just make sure you travel to places where his spotlight cannot reach.



Is this a relationship fulfilling your needs as well as mine
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah?
Or is this just my sentence, am I doing time?
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah?
If this is love, real, real love, then I'm staying no doubt
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah?
But if I'm just love's prisoner then I'm busting out
Is that you? Is that you? Is that you yeah

When you subject yourself to a self imposed sentence because you are scared to leave him or think that you are being punished because this is what karma does, it punishes people who make bad choices and they must live and suffer the consequences - no, that isn't true.  Real love isn't meant to feel like this.  It isn't meant to be so difficult and painful that it feels unnatural.  It is time to stop doing time, stop subjecting yourself to existing, rather than living the life you were meant to live.  If it helps, tell yourself that in the mirror, particularly when you find that there is nobody else around you to give you the pep talk that you so desperately need.

Oh you ought to be ashamed of yourself
What the hell do you think you're doing loving me
Loving me so wrong?
Baby all I do is try to show you that you're mine
One and only guy, no matter who may come along
Open your eyes because I don't like. . . 

When someone loves you so wrong, how do you know when they love you right?
If you've been loved so long, so wrong, do you remember what being loved right looks like?
The loyalty that you are meant to display because we have been taught to persevere and ride things out and hold on for dear life, because this might be the only love you will know - is that worth it?  I'm not sure you can convince him that he's the only guy for you.  Not if he's hellbent on believing otherwise.  That's the thing about people right?  We can say as much and do as much as we can, but ultimately it is up to them to decide whatever it is that they want to do with you.

Well I don't like living under your spotlight
Just because you think I might find somebody worthy
Oh I don't like living under your spotlight
Maybe if you treat me right you won't have to worry

I hope that you find the strength to leave him.  I hope that he finds the strength to believe you.
I hope that people will see that their sense of worth should be measured by how you feel about yourself, rather than what is seen by others.  I hope that people can see mutual love in each other, because I think there isn't enough of that going on around the world these days.  Is it as simple as how you want to be treated? Maybe if you treat me right you won't have to worry. . .