Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Prelude to a kiss. . .

I was meant to write this on my birthday and publish it, but I didn't get around to it.  Being another year older automatically makes you think about where you are in your life in the present moment.  You start to think about whether you are heading in the right direction or doing things that are meant to done at this moment in time.  I have learned through the lovely teachings of Anthony Hopkins to accept everything and expect nothing.  That's not to say that you go through life with no expectations, but that you need to accept everything that comes your way - good things to appreciate the blessings and bad things to appreciate how much you need to grow.

Sometimes I feel . . . like I don't belong anywhere
And it's gonna take. . . so long for me to get somewhere 

I think as a young woman (not that I'm an old woman now, just older than I was I guess), I was in such a hurry to grow up and do things that I thought was cool about being older.  But now that I'm in that space, I'm telling students to just ease up, enjoy your youth because like the blink of an eye - it disappears as quickly as it arrived.  I feel like saying, why are you in such a rush to die?  I understand that going out and doing stuff with a sense of urgency is so that you make the most of living - but sometimes, all living really is, just involves quiet time spent alone, meditating and being lost in your own thoughts.

Sometimes I feel so heavy hearted . . . but I can't explain cuz I'm so guarded 
But that's a lonely road to travel, and a heavy load to . . . bear

I had a great conversations with my father today.  I told him about my aspirations for him and my mother.  I told them that even though things may seem like I have a heavy load to bear in my life,  but I told them that I don't think about it in that way. Granted, yes, life could be easier, but I'm a huge fan of the fact that nothing ever happens to me that wasn't meant to - especially the stuff that stresses me out, overwhelms me or makes me second-guess myself and my abilities.  I don't know how to describe it, but I'm filled with such an immense sense of gratitude, that I can't measure it.  In spite of it all - I am happy.  Mostly the fact that I'm happy with myself, with the me that I am today.  I understand that in some instances that I need to be guarded - but who doesn't?  I don't like to rely on other people for protection, but I know when to ask for shelter from a storm when I need it.

And it's a long, long way to heaven but I gotta get there
Can you send me an angel?
Can you send me an angel. . . to guide me. . . 

I am extremely grateful for the angels that have come and gone in my life.
I know the ones who have left early so that they can be of use in heaven, because they fulfilled their duties in this earth bound realm.  Which makes me think - how many more angels will come my way?  I know that heaven for everyone looks different - there are different things that we think is heaven to us.  All I know is that, when you see fit to do so, if you feel like you can spare a couple more from time to time, can you send me an angel. . .