Sunday, 14 August 2016

I know him so well. . .

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long

When things go wrong, especially in perfect situations because they are contexts that are familiar to you, they are familiar contexts that reveal your character, your strengths, places where you shine; there are always opportunities that present themselves where new learning is meant to happen.  People around me are going through some situations that are testing their faith in themselves, their abilities to be who they truly want to be and it is getting in the way of producing their best.  I believe that nothing lasts.  There is a beginning and an end point to everything and everyone.  I guess it depends on how we choose to address what we are confronted with, whether we choose to compromise or collaborate, to commit or convalesce because of these seemingly perfect situations.  Is it wrong to want things?  Is it wrong to hold on to these desires for a long time?

Looking back, I could have played it differently
Want to feel more moments, who can tell 
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know him well

Do you have regrets in your life?  Do you wish you had done things differently; said what needed to be said or done what needed to be done? It does take time to realise these things, missed opportunities or mislaid ones, but it's all part of learning how you operate, how you function, how you are able to make the connection from thought into action.  Most of the time people are afraid to put into words and say out loud what they think and feel for fear of rejection, being misunderstood or losing what you currently have.  What do you do when you want to feel more moments?  Do you let them wash over you or do you go out and make those moments happen?

Wasn't it good (oh so good)
Wasn't he fine
Isn't it mad
But in the end he needs more than me
More security
He needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well

Knowing when to give up on something or someone, knowing when you have come to the fork in the road and only one pathway is the clear way to go, may be painfully elusive to some and eerily transparent to others.  Do you think about how much impact you can have on someone's life?  Knowing that you can let go of someone because you have done all you can for them is like calling time of death on a relationship or friendship that you earnestly tried to save, you did the best you could, nobody could've bounced back from the trauma suffered by the patient and yourself.  

Noone in your life is with you constantly
Noone is completely on your side
And though I moved my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide

These things come to pass when you are faced with them when you least expect.  You realise that people are not with you constantly in your life when they leave.  You realise that people are not completely on your side when they change to another side.  Have you moved your world to be with someone?  It requires some risk on your part because you don't know if things will work out.  You might not even be worried about consequences or ramifications of the move, because all you want to do is merge your worlds together, or just be in his.  I think about Gladys Knight and her wanting to live in his world than live without him in hers.  If there is a gap that is too wide, the things that could fill that gap would the words unspoken or the deeds undone, because even though a gap exists and might seem too wide, blind faith will minimise the scale and make everything seem effortless.

Looking back I could have played it differently 
Learned about the man before I fell
But I was ever so much younger then
Now at least I know I know him well

The thing about youth, you don't realise you've lost it or moved past it until you've moved through it.  Things that you thought were quite acceptable may now disagree with your adult sense of sensibility.   Do you laugh when you think about what you were like when you were younger?  The things that you did and thought because you were inexperienced in how you wanted to be in the world. It goes without saying that this is part of the learning that we progress through. When you think about how much you know someone (or think you know someone), they are either attributes that we can accept because we grow to respect them.

Didn't I know 
How would it go from the start if I knew
Why am I falling apart

It is extremely natural to fall apart when we try to so hard to keep ourselves together.  Sometimes we do need to fall apart and not wonder why, because that doesn't help us to fall apart easily, in order to rebuild ourselves. Knowing how things will pan out can be a bit boring. When you are faced with obstacles and overcome them, especially if they are not part of your plan, helps you to understand resilience and gain some clarity about how you respond to things rather than react.

Wasn't it good (oh so good)
Wasn't he fine (oh so fine)
Isn't it madness, he won't be mine
But in the end he needs more than me
More security
He needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well

I hope that we continue to find ways to know each other well.  Sometimes I think that when we think ourselves the most, that we come across people who can help to unpack the realness that lies within ourselves.  What fantasy and freedom do you hold within you?  It's important to have dreams and think about how they become reality.  Sometimes we are too scared to transition our dreams into reality because we don't think we're worthy enough of making them happen, or we doubt ourselves or doubt others.  I hope we know when we can let each other go from time to time as well, because how else will we know when we no longer need each other, but instead, know yourself completely.

It took time to understand him
I know him so well. . .