Saturday, 16 July 2016

Hopeless wanderer. . .

You heard my voice, I came out of the woods by choice
Shelter also gave me them shade
But in the dark I have no name

I don't know whether it's because of the crazy things happening around the world, with so much death and destruction that has hampered the will to write, or at least delayed writing about how I feel lately.  How is life going for you at the moment?  Have you been able to emerge out of your own neck of the woods?  What stops you from doing the things that you want to do?  Who has the power to control your movements?  Bible stories talk a lot about hearing voices and knowing whose voice we are listening to, but do you think that maybe you've forgotten to listen to your own voice as well?  Do you know what your voice sounds like in the darkness, what it sounds like in all that shade?

So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
Left a clouded mind and a heavy heart
But I was sure we could see a new start

When you find yourself lost in a situation or at a crossroads trying to figure out which path to take, which fork in the road that you should follow, you might ask yourself what your closest friends or family members would do in the same position.  You might even ask yourself for divine intervention and offer up a silent prayer to give you guidance particularly if you mind is clouded and your heart is heavy.  What words do you cling to in those moments?  Do you know people well enough to know what choices or options are available to you?  What new start can you see for yourself?

So when your hopes on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road

Part of being able to know where to turn is to think about how you are feeling in that moment and accept and acknowledge how the situation is making you feel.  You might even come to know that you allow yourself to feel those feelings because you feel aggrieved about something someone has said or you don't know how much you are able to control because things are actually out of your control.  Do you have the skills and knowledge to steer yourself back on course, back to where you need to be in order to gain momentum in your journey?  Choose wisely who will share this path, this road with you.  There will be plenty of people masquerading as allies, when in fact, they would love to see nothing more than you failing.

But hold me fast, hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer
And hold me fast, hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer

Surround yourself with people who will help you to get a grip, especially when society or the world is hell bent on getting you to loosen your grip on reality, to loosen you grip on what is real and important for you.  Is it even a bad thing to be a wanderer?  I guess a hopeless wanderer is someone who doesn't really know where they're going or has no goals to achieve or maybe even wants a break from being in a rat race and needs some time to regroup before building a strong foundation from the bricks that people throw at you.

I wrestled long with my youth
We tried so hard to live in the truth
But do not tell me all is fine
When I lose my head, I lose my spine

There is a fine balance between living in the truth and living in truth that is real.  Whose reality are we talking about here?  There is a difference between social media reality and your own private reality.  There is a difference between work reality and your own private reality.  There is a difference between public reality and your own private reality.  When you lose your intellectual thoughts because people try to pass it off as their own, or if people try to access your thoughts in order to gain profit - will you be able to stand up for yourself when it counts?  As we continue to age, we will continue to grapple with the iniquity of the society of our youth - I mean, have things improved or have they worsened with time?  If you lose your mind, then you might as well have lost your spine too.  You need to develop a backbone that is made up of the truth of your own private reality, to push forward when social norms deem it wrong that you succeed.  If you let them beat you, then that's on you.

So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
You brought me out from the cold
And how I long, how I long to grow old

Is the click, the click of a trigger that reminds you about things that threaten you or is it the click of a light switch that suddenly illuminates a room and allows you to see what is in front of you and around you?  Do you look forward to growing old?  When you stat thinking about how things would change once you get older, I'm not sure you need to be thinking about that at all.  We can often look too much to the future as a way of escaping the reality.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have hope.  I'm just saying that there might be instances where you need to fix what's right in front of you, to address some obstacles that will impede your progress and your ability to have clearer access to the future that you're striving to achieve.

I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
And I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
The skies I'm under

I hope that even if life deals you difficult situations, people you would rather not be around, contexts that challenge what you represent and who you are - that you will be able to learn to love those skies because you can rise above anything, you can be whatever and whoever you want to be.  All I know is for now, as certain as I am about pathways moving forward and striving to reach goals that people want to constantly get in the way and prevent me from achieving, I can also be as adaptable and not worry too much because I'm just as comfortable being a hopeless wanderer. . .