Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Brown girl. . .

I hate it when people try to label me.  Especially when they don't know me and haven't really had a conversation with me.  Assumptions pretty much fill my day and the same could be said for me too, I most likely have assumptions about other people too, but the tragedy is of course, that most of the time, that I get disappointed by people who I am supposed to respect, revere or render as someone worth looking up to.  But sometimes I think, how far can I look up when the elevation isn't actually that far off the ground?  

I have had many conversations with academics, students, teachers, other practitioner researchers like me and I am interested in everybody's stories.  I can't explain why I find connections a fascinating thing.  I just like listening to people and making sense of what they say, what they see and what they hear.  I supposed they must like the same thing about me too; so busy trying to decipher what I'm all about, like an air of suspicion that doesn't quite evaporate into thin air because it lingers, like the smell of crushed frangipani on a hot day in Samoa, intermingled with all of the other sweet hotness that permeates that air.

I'm more than the colour of my skin
I'm the girl that likes to sing
All I know is what's within
Go to school and learn their ways
Don't have to think at what to say
While my mother sits to pray
I pray for better days
God please help them see
They ain't no different from me
Not above, not beneath
Teach them equality

I was asked the other day by a colleague what my memories of growing up was like in Aotearoa.  It is sad sometimes, because as much as I had a carefree childhood growing up in the 1980s, it wasn't without scenes of discomfort or trouble that I would later see or feel as something natural for someone born into a diaspora society.  As much as you try to blend in and do things like others, they will try their damnedest to remind you that you don't belong, not really.  Even if you do master their abstract knowledge and ways of knowing that they would never bother to reciprocate if they truly valued what you see, think, feel and hear in your seemingly simple world; which in actual fact, is just as complex and multi-layered, multi-pronged, multicultural like fruit salad icecream must taste like when you smell that crushed frangipani, except it isn't in the hotness of Samoa, but in the concrete jungles of urban Auckland city.  

I'm not just a brown girl, in the ring
I'm just a girl, who likes to sing
I'm not just a brown girl, in the ring
I'm just a girl, who likes to sing

What kind of brown girl are you?  That might be a question that has crossed someone's mind when they look at me because even thought I may come across like a sugar in a plum dancing in the ring, but on the daily, there are struggles and demands that mean you have to work twice as hard to prove to your own heritage that you understand the ancient values, the ancient ways and uphold traditions that seem to hold no place in your concrete jungle - yet you must also hoist the banner of assimilation that you willingly raised at your school flagpole because you didn't know any better, you didn't see any colour; but your friend's mother did, because even though the English dripping from your tongue was perfect and sounded as crisp as the crunch of Granny Smith or a Red Delicious apple, depending on what your tastebuds could tolerate - you didn't look English enough, even though it was obvious that there might've been some German blood in you from centuries ago.

I'm more than what they think of me
More than the colour tones that they see
More than urban and r'n'b, more than a slang that I speak
Close your eyes, don't say a word
Don't speak about what you seen or heard
Let's pretend that it's ok
Just the way the devil likes to play
Look in my eyes, look in my eyes
I can't lie, I can't lie
All these years of my life
I'm just from the outside

When you spend your entire life trying to justify or rationalise to people who you are and how you see yourself, at the end of the day, it's doesn't even really matter.  There is a certain level of acceptance, not of the bigotry, but definitely of the acknowledgement of what it means to be who you are and how people think you are.  I have been told by several friends and acquaintances who I have only recently been in touch with since my school days (we're talking over 20 years now), how strong they think I am, how they thought how happy I was at school, and I was.  I can quite easily flip through my high school yearbooks and see how much fun I had at school.  Laughing at pictures of fake groups that I might have been in during photo time, just so we could be in as many different pictures for the yearbook.  If I am from the outside, how do I feel about that?  Am I happy being on the outside looking in, or am I quite happy to walk along the street and savour the moments I have looking at different things and different people that pass me by.  I guess I could confound people because I can be quite comfortable being on the outside, as much as I am being on the inside.

If you don't know by now
Time will show you what, I'm talking about
Said if you don't know me by now
Time will show you what, I'm talking about
I'm talking 'bout

When your purpose is revealed to you, there isn't much you can really do.
You can try to escape it and think you are destined for something else, but a higher power always has something better in mind for you; even when you think with your feeble earthly mind that you have it altogether, there are forces at work that even you can't control.  I highly recommend just letting go, stop trying to be in control and just let time reveal what is meant to be.  You will know once it happens, so enjoy each moment that comes your way, because you don't know if it will be your last.

I'm not just a brown girl, in the ring
I'm just a girl, who likes to sing
I'm not just a brown girl, in the ring
I'm just a girl, who likes to sing

I hope that even if I am a brown girl in the ring, I'm not just a brown girl.
I think there isn't anything simple about being just a brown girl.  I am a strong believer that you are born the heritage culture that you are for a reason.  If you choose to run away or ignore your ancestral links, you will go through life wondering what pieces of you are missing.  I've seen it too many times with adults that I'm surrounded by, trying to find themselves in the histories and genealogies of their families, hoping to make sense of the chaos that they find themselves in, hoping to unlock some deep dark secret that can explain away what they are going through.  

I think the time for silence is over and it's time to use your voice.
How do I know?  I just need to listen to what's inside me now, and not worry so much about being on the outside.  I'm not just a brown girl, in the ring. I'm just a girl, who likes to sing. . . 

Saturday, 23 July 2016

Feel. . .

Come and hold my hand, I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand, this role I've been given
I sit and talk to God, and He just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language, I don't understand

I sometimes wonder whether I am amongst living people or surrounded by people who understand what it means to live.  I imagine that those who lose their lives and never wanted to, either through illness or tragic unforeseen circumstances not of their own volition, seem to pine for opportunities to come back and live their lives again, while the actual living people don't really make the most of their lives, or appreciate what is on offer, explore the limits of their endurance and stamina.  Do we have big plans that seem to take us away from where we are meant to be or block us from seeing the realities we suddenly become oblivious to?  When your head starts speaking a language you don't understand, then you should be aware that you being spoken to rather than initiating that dialogue in your head on your own.  You are being given a role.  Do you know what role you have ascribed to play in this world?  How do you know what role you're meant to play?

I just wanna feel real love, feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life running through my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die but I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love I'm preparing to leave her

The chorus shows us the classic push and pull that exists in our lives but more importantly within our very own beings.  We are in constant conflict and turmoil within our hearts, minds and bodies.  We think we know exactly what's going on but then stand face to face with something or someone that may cause us to question everything we've ever been taught, everything we've come to believe in, because truth slowly becomes uncovered.

Scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

Do you know where you're running to?  Is there anybody running alongside you?  You might already know that you are on your way to your destination because you've set little checkpoints to reach those milestones.  Being able to project or visualise where you are running to is important.  I think the older I get, I don't focus so much anymore on where or who I'm running towards, but it's more about the motion of going forward, making progress.  My brother said something to me today - no pain, no progress, and I absolutely believe that.  Anything in life that I ever valued and thought was worth having, it hasn't come easily.  There have been obstacles to overcome, people to convince, places to suffer through until I knew that I had arrived.  

I just wanna feel real love, feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love and love ever after
I cannot get enough

Once things have become revealed to us, we understand why there seems to be a sense of urgency in one's life, why there seems to be too much life running in your veins, because everyone around thinks your life is so busy and how can you possibly do all of the the things that you are doing.  They don't need to understand you.  They just need to sit back and watch what freedom looks like in action.

I just wanna feel real love, feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life running through my veins
To go to waste
I just wanna feel real love and love ever after
There's a hole in my soul, you can see it in my face
It's a real big place

The real love that you might be craving might not necessarily come from those in your circle right now.  The real love that you deserve might actually come from people that you have yet to meet.  The real love might also have been present in your past, given to you by people who are no longer of this earthly realm, but are in fact watching you from a distance, watching you from afar, because they might be the holes in your soul that were taken when they departed this world.  That familiar ache that you feel and can sometimes flicker on your face from time to time; you try your best to disguise and keep it submerged because people would normally see those as signs of weakness.  

Come and hold my hand I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand this role I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand. . . 

I hope that whatever you are going through in your own life, that there are people around you that know how to live the most out of their lives.  We can all too easily find ourselves trapped in friendships, relationships and connections that cause drain rather than gain, because we think that is what we are meant to do, to put up with things and people because it is the nice or decent thing to do.  I disagree with that sentiment, especially if you are in a space where you have stretched yourself so much that you seem to outgrow those around you and your vision and hearing has allowed you to see and hear things more clearly.  This doesn't mean that you are better than others, but rather that you have become a better you.  You may not understand this tole that you have been given, but just because nobody else around you understands you, doesn't mean your rate of change or progress is wrong.  It's just means that it's ok not to know everything, even if you're not sure if you understand. . . 

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Here I stand. . .

I've only just discovered this song.  I never came across it when it was released.  There's something about the music that I love.  It could be the simple subtle keyboard introduction, before the drums hit together with the piano and the bass joins in with the vocals in the first verse.  I guess I've always been a sucker for a super slick rhythm section opening.  I think it's the melody of the hook that appeals to me, something about the rising melodic sequence before we come back down to earth in the verses.

I hope this ain't too hard to believe
Cause baby you're the only one for me
I know it get hard when I'm moving in and out of state
But I promise my heart for you I would save
Just remember that

Of course we hear signature Usher with his exclamation-like high notes at the end of the lines for emphasis of the emotional intent in his voice that expresses the lyrics.  Something about the smoothness that r'n'b music has that ensures that it has a special place in my heart never fails to bring a smile to my face.  How do you feel moving in and out of state?  I take this to mean moving in and out of states of mind during a relationship, rather than just the physical geographic movement from state to state.  That vulnerability that comes with baring your soul so that someone understands where you're coming from and revealing your true feelings - those things are hard to contend with, particularly when you aren't sure if promises of hearts being saved are enough.

No matter how far I go
And no matter how long it takes
No one or nothing can change
Forever yours here I stand (Here I stand baby)

Change can be a scary thing, and nothing is more scary then when someone declares their intentions for you; when you've been oblivious to their feelings that may have developed and not knowing how to deal with that.  People may be finding it hard to commit to someone if they have been hurt badly in the past.  Do you have problems with commitment?  Do you need constant reassuring that you are appreciated, liked or loved by those around you?

You're like a mirror to my soul, but a queen (my queen)
And finally now I know just what that means (oh yeah)
You're the blessing I never thought I would get
And to the Lord I humbly bow my head
Just remember that

Have people told you how much they have missed you?  This can happen when they haven't seen you in a long time or they didn't realise how much of an impact you made in their lives until you chose to make other priorities in your own life.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  It could just mean that your wavelengths are just out of sync and you just need to listen to your biorhythm and trust what happens from within.

Ever since you came (since you came along)
It seems like (couldn't get it right)
I fell and sunk so low, that there was no way I could be found (never thought love would find me)
And when we make love (everytime you give, whoo, give to me your love)
Give. . . you make me feel a way I never felt with no one else, and I can't help myself
I'm tellin' you that

One of the best parts of an r'n'b song should be the bridge.  The intention of the bridge is to showcase a different melody that helps to increase the tension and build towards a climax that culminates in the chorus being sung.  This can be achieved by holding onto the last note of the bridge over into the chorus.  That's quite a standard r'n'b way of helping to push the song towards more emotional heights of the song.  I sometimes wonder if people can feel the same way when they have conversations?  Like do we sense a similar sense of heightened awareness leading to a climax or some sort of boiling point during an intense conversation?  When we admit our vulnerabilities to someone, does it make us seem any less weak or strong?

No matter how far I go (yeah) 
And no matter how long it takes (yeah)
No one or nothing, nothin' babe can ever change, the way I feel, cause I'm yo man, listen see 
Forever yours, yours, all yours here I stand (yeah)

The promise of feelings never changing, no matter what may change around you, or who changes  around you - who knows how someone would feel in that space?  Sometimes things are easier said than done or we don't really understand what or how we're meant to behave in any given situation.  When someone confesses something to you, would you do with that?  Are you equipped to figure out how to handle that and move in some direction that allows you more space to grow?  More opportunity to regroup yourself and figure out what's best for you?

No matter how far I go
And no matter how long it takes
No one or nothing can change
Forever yours here I stand (Here I stand baby)

I hope that you will keep the memories alive as much as you can.  I hope that distance, time and space will not be enough to separate you from who you can lose yourself with, who you can be honest with, and with someone who "gets" you.  They just might say to you - forever yours. . I am. . here I stand. . . 

Sunday, 17 July 2016

In the wee small hours. . .

Insomnia can be a very real thing for some people, especially when their minds are full of ideas or they can't seem to allow their minds to be quiet and enjoy some peace; to find some respite in the "busy" lives that we lead. But this only happens when we are surrounded by people who constantly love to talk about time and how much they have to do.  I'm not sure if people fill their lives with such things because they are unwilling to stand still and take a good long look at what they're actually producing, what they're actually doing, and to see if any of it is actually meaningful and has value.

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

There are many versions of this song.  It has been covered by so many great singers over the generations but I can't feel anything as much as when Frank Sinatra sings it.  I think maybe he might have experienced this situation for himself at some point.  Maybe not at the height of his fame, but maybe certainly in his adolescent youth.  Have you ever thought of anybody in this way in the wee small hours?  I guess if you're thinking about her, I don't think you'll get to sleep any faster, but if you do, at least your dreams will be eventful. . .

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all

I think it is easy for your heart to learn lessons when it is lonely, but mostly because when you are lonely, there is more time spent on your own to reflect on the actions that you took (or didn't take) to get you to this lonely place.  If you have experienced love and have lost it, I think it's in the wee small hours that you can play back those scenes in your head and smile to yourself.  What would happen if she did call?  Would you have the courage to change things, make them better, throw yourself completely into the situation by throwing caution to the wind (because it was caution that stopped you in your tracks in the first place?).

(Instrumental Interlude)

The instrumental interlude gives listeners an opportunity to hear the melody and harmonies reflected in the instrumentation.  There's somthing magical that happens when you are working on your own in the wee small hours.  You become conscious of everything around you. the whole mindfulness of it all.  Even while you are working, your mind will naturally drift to where the sounds of the interlude will take you. Does your heart soar when the strings rise?  Does your heart start to regulate its own beating patterns when the swell of the strings decrease in volume?  The pause at that top note before the resolution - I really love that note.  It's almost as if that slight hesitation makes you think about how much you really feel about someone in that moment.  It's a nice feeling and those associated memories are totally natural to keep close by when you need to keep yourself company in the wee small hours. . .

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all

I don't know about you but I get the most work done when everyone is asleep.  There is some comfort in the silence, and it's not necessarily a heavy one at that.  It's more like a subtle lilt of sound in the air, probably why I love listening to this song while I'm writing this as you read it.

I hope that when you get lonely, that you won't be lonely for long.
People will mean well and say things that come from a genuine place of concern and care for you.
It's important to know that irrespective of what anyone thinks about you and how you should be in the world. trust yourself first and keep the faith about what you believe in and what you value, what you hold true for yourself.  There's too many people spending time trying to be someone they're not.  That's a shame.  If anyone decided to call me in the wee small hours, I would gladly answer because I know that they're probably in need of some good conversation. an ear to listen to what they need to share and just be there for them so that the problems which may seem enormous or significantly stressful are in fact. not as bad as you think, not large enough to worry about at all in the wee small hours :-)

Saturday, 16 July 2016

Hopeless wanderer. . .

You heard my voice, I came out of the woods by choice
Shelter also gave me them shade
But in the dark I have no name

I don't know whether it's because of the crazy things happening around the world, with so much death and destruction that has hampered the will to write, or at least delayed writing about how I feel lately.  How is life going for you at the moment?  Have you been able to emerge out of your own neck of the woods?  What stops you from doing the things that you want to do?  Who has the power to control your movements?  Bible stories talk a lot about hearing voices and knowing whose voice we are listening to, but do you think that maybe you've forgotten to listen to your own voice as well?  Do you know what your voice sounds like in the darkness, what it sounds like in all that shade?

So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
Left a clouded mind and a heavy heart
But I was sure we could see a new start

When you find yourself lost in a situation or at a crossroads trying to figure out which path to take, which fork in the road that you should follow, you might ask yourself what your closest friends or family members would do in the same position.  You might even ask yourself for divine intervention and offer up a silent prayer to give you guidance particularly if you mind is clouded and your heart is heavy.  What words do you cling to in those moments?  Do you know people well enough to know what choices or options are available to you?  What new start can you see for yourself?

So when your hopes on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road

Part of being able to know where to turn is to think about how you are feeling in that moment and accept and acknowledge how the situation is making you feel.  You might even come to know that you allow yourself to feel those feelings because you feel aggrieved about something someone has said or you don't know how much you are able to control because things are actually out of your control.  Do you have the skills and knowledge to steer yourself back on course, back to where you need to be in order to gain momentum in your journey?  Choose wisely who will share this path, this road with you.  There will be plenty of people masquerading as allies, when in fact, they would love to see nothing more than you failing.

But hold me fast, hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer
And hold me fast, hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer

Surround yourself with people who will help you to get a grip, especially when society or the world is hell bent on getting you to loosen your grip on reality, to loosen you grip on what is real and important for you.  Is it even a bad thing to be a wanderer?  I guess a hopeless wanderer is someone who doesn't really know where they're going or has no goals to achieve or maybe even wants a break from being in a rat race and needs some time to regroup before building a strong foundation from the bricks that people throw at you.

I wrestled long with my youth
We tried so hard to live in the truth
But do not tell me all is fine
When I lose my head, I lose my spine

There is a fine balance between living in the truth and living in truth that is real.  Whose reality are we talking about here?  There is a difference between social media reality and your own private reality.  There is a difference between work reality and your own private reality.  There is a difference between public reality and your own private reality.  When you lose your intellectual thoughts because people try to pass it off as their own, or if people try to access your thoughts in order to gain profit - will you be able to stand up for yourself when it counts?  As we continue to age, we will continue to grapple with the iniquity of the society of our youth - I mean, have things improved or have they worsened with time?  If you lose your mind, then you might as well have lost your spine too.  You need to develop a backbone that is made up of the truth of your own private reality, to push forward when social norms deem it wrong that you succeed.  If you let them beat you, then that's on you.

So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
You brought me out from the cold
And how I long, how I long to grow old

Is the click, the click of a trigger that reminds you about things that threaten you or is it the click of a light switch that suddenly illuminates a room and allows you to see what is in front of you and around you?  Do you look forward to growing old?  When you stat thinking about how things would change once you get older, I'm not sure you need to be thinking about that at all.  We can often look too much to the future as a way of escaping the reality.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have hope.  I'm just saying that there might be instances where you need to fix what's right in front of you, to address some obstacles that will impede your progress and your ability to have clearer access to the future that you're striving to achieve.

I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
And I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
The skies I'm under

I hope that even if life deals you difficult situations, people you would rather not be around, contexts that challenge what you represent and who you are - that you will be able to learn to love those skies because you can rise above anything, you can be whatever and whoever you want to be.  All I know is for now, as certain as I am about pathways moving forward and striving to reach goals that people want to constantly get in the way and prevent me from achieving, I can also be as adaptable and not worry too much because I'm just as comfortable being a hopeless wanderer. . .    

Sunday, 10 July 2016

Til I get it right. . .

There will be times in your life when you have all the peace and quiet in the world and then you suddenly get caught up in the chaos that people insist on bringing to you.  It is any wonder that you will ever find the time or space to indulge in a relationship with anybody.  But how often do you find yourself falling in love?  I think I've blogged about it on several occasions in previous blog posts, and they have either been spurred into fruition thanks to friends or family going through the various relationships at any given time.  Even though we might think we know what love does and how it can connect us with others (or not) but is there something within that makes you think - how often will I do this, how often will I allow myself to fall for people or situations that we think resemble love, 'til I get it right?

I'll just keep on falling in love 'til I get it right
Right now I'm like a wounded bird hungry for the sky
But if I try my wings and try long enough I'm bound to learn to fly
So I'll just keep on falling in love 'til I get it right

The original track by Tammy Wynette is at a more relaxed pace and seems to be melancholic and full of wistful ideas that maybe you're just not crash hot on doing this love thing right.  How do you know when you've got it right anyway?  Who decides that?  The person you're in the relationship with?  Before you can even enter into a relationship, you need to be an expert in how prepare you are to be able to put yourself out there, before you even put yourself out there.  Sometimes the reality of it never really meets our expectations.  But is this because you continually set yourself up for failure in this way, because you never really commit to know what being in love actually feels like?

My door to love has opened up more times than in
I'm either fool or wise enough to open it again
Cause I'll never know what's beyond that mountain till I reach the other side
So I'll just keep falling in love 'til I get it right

It's almost like if you keep answering the door to love when someone has knocked but you've forgotten it's actually 'Halloween and you're not prepared with your bowl of treats, and beside they never say 'trick or treat' just trick - but you still give them treats.  Why give more love than what you get? Is there even a point to opening the door then?  We probably live with those fears of being hurt or rejected, more than we would exercise the adventure of what it means to fall in love.  Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, taking a punt and just doing what you feel in your heart, that only comes into action when that thought rooted firmly in your mind starts to burn with conviction and the only natural thing to follow - is action.

If practice makes perfect then I'm near bout as perfect as I'll ever be in my life
So I'll just keep on falling in love 'til I get it right

Shawn Colvin's rendition of the song is slightly faster, but loses none of the original angst and regret of the song.  This is a testament of the beautiful songwriting of this track, by the same man who wrote Wind beneath my wings I believe.  Have you had much practice in falling in love?  I guess people are more scared about what happens after the fall.  Do you get back up (especially if the love is not reciprocated) or do you realise that rejection is on the cards so you pretend to try and correct yourself from falling, by breaking into something else mid-fall before you reach the ground?  I must say, that takes some major skills to be able to pull that off.  Nobody will see that coming, but you'll know all along.

If practice makes perfect then I'm near bout as perfect as I'll ever be in my life
So I'll just keep on falling in love 'til I get it right

I hope that you take opportunities in your life not to fall in love with others.
I mean, you can't really do that anyway unless you fall in love with who you are, what you do, how you are and what value you can add to someone else's life - as if to say, why should you be loved?  What makes you special enough to be loved?

Everyone is entitled to love as much as everyone is entitled to success.
So just keep falling in love 'til you get it right.
But get it right for you first, before you go giving more than you're getting in.
That's worth the fall then.  That's what I would be wanting to do, til I get right :-)

Thursday, 7 July 2016

Everybody. . .

We have fallen down again tonight
In this world it's hard to get it right 
Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
What it needs is love, love, love

The thing about falling down is that we will fall often.  No matter how many times we fall, we need to learn how to get back up again and continue on your journey.  You might get too uptight about things and have such self control that inhibits you from making the necessary mistakes in life in order to learn.  There is no such thing as perfection, but don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't  strive for perfection either.

Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open up your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin

I am fascinated by how much hearts can take.  They may seem like small things in your body (there are smaller organs, we all know that) but the amount of pressure and strain that the human heart can be subjected to is worth noting.  It is easy for darkness to fill your heart and take control of every decision that you make, because depending on what is in your heart - whether it is dark or light - it means that you are able to make an impact in someone's life when you show them what you heart is all about.  How resilient is your heart?  Is it a tough one?  Has it been broken so many times that it's developed biceps to withstand any other abuse that may be hurled its way?  How tough does your heart need to be these days?  It doesn't matter how many times I have felt pain in my heart.  I would rather that my heart knows how to feel, even during those bad times. because then I know I'm alive.

Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

What I am saying is that we need to be focusing on making things right within ourselves first, and know how we are. before we try and "force" or coerce people into following our values and belief systems, without first understanding theirs either.  But it doesn't talk to be frank and have the necessary conversations so that you can start making natural connections with people.  I'm not interested in the contrived connections but the natural ones that form because of who you are as a person.  Love what you bring to the table, whatever table it is that you're seated at and who you are seated with.  Love yourself so that others know how much value and self worth you inject in yourself.

Oh, everybody knows the love
Everybody holds the love
Everybody folds for love
Everybody feels the love
Everybody steals the love
Everybody feels with love

Can you relax your heart around some people but not others?  When your heart is filled with light, it will be easier for your heart to recognise other hearts that mirror it as well, other hearts that also reflect their light in the words that come out of the mouths of people when you least expect.

I hope that you are able to surround yourself with people who know how to hold, fold, feel, steal and feel love.  Life is too short these days to be wasting time with people who don't know how to love, or don't want to love.  Because even when we're trying to hide ourselves and our hearts away, we all know deep down that everybody, everybody wants to love, everybody everybody wants to be loved. . . 

Sunday, 3 July 2016

Ain't no stopping us now. . .

There's been so many things, that's held us down
But now it looks like, things are finally comin' around
I know we've got a long, long way to go
And where we'll end up, I don't know

Do you know when things are finally starting to come around for you?  It might come in the form of some confirmation of things that you suspected all along and different sources might come forward with information.  It might come in the form of people making admissions when they are confronted or it might even come from places where you least expect and things just start to make sense in your head and alignments are made.  Things or events might have jarred in your mind and seemed out of place before, but now start to make more sense about how much has been accomplished, and more importantly, how much trusting your instinct and intuition has lead you to a happier more joyous sense of self.

But we won't let nothin' hold us back
We're putting ourselves together
We're polishing up our act

When we allow ourselves to be held back, it is because of the fear of going through something different or foreign to what you are accustomed to; there doesn't seem to be any logical sequence that you can follow, and sadly sometimes life doesn't stick to a recipe or comes in paint-by-numbers, in fact, it's a big fat mess of chaos that you need to make sense of, yourself.  What makes sense to you (when sense finally arrives) is nothing short of a miracle.  You might think the world suddenly seems brighter, you have a more positive outlook on life, things just seem to be a lot easier, and people start to think that you're presenting your best in any given situation and have tried in so many ways, to suss you out.  How do you keep polishing your act?  How do you seem to have yourself well put together when everyone else seems like they've been through a hedge backwards?

If you've ever been held down before
I know you refuse to be held down anymore

When you have been held down often, particularly when it's against your will - you should be starting to develop a taste for freedom.  How do you make sure that people who consistently try to hold you down or try to block you from achieving your own goals (which might in fact, not even factor them into your life, but they insist on being there to ruin you - who are these people anyway?!) come to the realisation that they need to back off, and create their own goals and milestones for themselves?  I think we can often can wrapped up too much in being right about things - depends on who's asking for your opinion on things being "right" anyway.  I mean social media is really good at pitting people against each other with deliberately provocative headlines to draw people's attention - to entice people to give laboured answers that shows a lot of thought, as opposed to trolls who thrive on creating controversy and gaining negative attention.  I guess it might even be easier to say that the best way to not be held down, is to be street savvy, be smarter with your choices and where you choose to locate yourself.  Being able to minimise risk at any cost will be second nature to people who have been burned so many times that they start to bring their own fireproof gear and fire extinguishers.  But there might be others that are adrenaline junkies and feel more alive when things come down to the wire and you escape being held down just when your oppressors think they have you within their grasp.

I know you know someone that has a negative vibe
And if you're trying to make it, they only push you aside
They really don't have nowhere to go 
Ask them where they're going, they don't know

Everyone knows someone with a negative vibe.
For those negative people in your life, you have a couple of choices:
1) try to help them by transitioning them adopting a more positive vibe or 2) avoid these people like the plague, especially if you are not yet immune to negativity and it easily influences your positivity to change drastically just by being around such people.  I have managed to cut as many people like this as possible in my life.  Weeding people out from your garden of friends and family may seem quite ruthless but a necessary evil given the ease with which your peace of mind can quickly evaporate or elude you.

Don't you let nothing, nothing stand in your way
I want y'all to listen, listen to every word I say

People who hate on your goals, your mission, your purpose, do so because they think you are 1) competing with them 2) wish they had thought of the same goals, mission and purpose first 3) don't realise that you're not competing or trying to be the first - you're just doing you or sadly 4) do not have goals, a mission or a sense of purpose of their own.  So it's much easier to ruin yours.  What sad, sad, sad people.  Problem is, they might not actually be aware that's what they're doing.  You kind of feel like saying to those around you - are you gonna tell them or shall I?

It is very easy to give up.
When you are not centred or focused on what's important in your life, i.e. priorities - it makes people think that you are an easy target to distract or diminish anything you do come up with once moments of clarity start to come to fruition.  I think what people need to understand, that if you are wanting to succeed in life, that everybody is entitled to success.  But most of all, there is no limit to success, everyone can have it, everyone can celebrate it, everyone can earn it.  I don't see why people become too cynical or judgmental about things when they should be looking at themselves first.

Ain't no stopping us now, we're on the move
Ain't no stopping us now, we've got the groove

It's always easy to dish out criticism, but very hard to accept criticism of yourself by others.  But I think that's really important to do, and has much more significant impact on how to improve yourself, when you are open to critique from people who have your best interests at heart.  Anybody else who critiques you just to make you feel small, those are negative people.  Stay away from those people.  They think they've got everything together, when really they don't.  They're always pretty easy to spot - in your family, workplace, church, sports club, business, friends, anywhere where people happen to be.  Why? why?  Tell them that it's human nature, that's why.

I hope that you continue to move.  I hope that you realise that you are not meant to stop.  The more people are either questioning what you do, particularly if it works and they can't explain it, or if things are moving at a frenetic pace but you can still keep up, never stop.  Even when you thought that you had lost your mojo, lost your groove and you've just got it back, just remember there ain't no stopping us now. . .