Sunday, 29 May 2016

Happy being me. . .

Baby I'm thanking you. . . 

Looking back on when I started

Had a lot of sun and a lot of rain
I've had some joy and broken heartache
But now that doesn't mean a thing

Hindsight can be 20/20.  There will be times when you have experiences that either make you or break you but either way they definitely shape your character and help you to make decisions about yourself, because you learn things about yourself and others that come into your life.  When you are in a constant state of rain, it might be easy for you to forget what it feels like to have sun again.  All of the good and bad things that happen in your life shouldn't matter as much now, because they lead you here.  It's what you decide to do with the here and now that will determine the rest of your life.

I'm living for the joy and laughter
Longing for my befores and afters
All in all, it's been cool
And there's nothing I wouldn't do

Joy and laughter are definitely high on my priority list.  Are they high on yours?  I find that people I know and people I don't but include me in their circles, spend far too much time longing for befores and afters.  We must learn to accept what we are faced with, but we don't need to lie down and take it either.  If we feel strongly about what we decide to do with ourselves and our lives, then we are more inclined to follow through with what we need to do to be at our best.  If we overthink what we should be doing, we end up spending time thinking about it rather than actually doing it.  Is there nothing that you wouldn't do?  When we do things, we should be thinking about - what will my future self think about this?  I think it's because of the readings I've been doing around possible selves that has helped me to think about what it is that I need to do and how to engage in the wider world.

Stop reaching back for your beginnings
All those broken dreams that went down stream
As we grow, live and know
Some things we were never meant to be

We need to think about those broken dreams not as things that never happened, but more along the lines of - why didn't that happen for me and compare with where you are right now.  Are you able to trace your parallel lives?  I am a strong believer in the fact that we are living the lives we are meant to be living, no matter how bad it might seem to be, because there are things that we are meant to learn - if not for ourselves, then for others.  This is why we are never really alone, because we are connected to others in ways that we never imagined and yet struggle to understand.  Society would have us believe what these connections are - but only you can determine and define what those look like.  But yes, some thing we were never meant to be.

Just like people they come and go
Some will live forever and some will never know
That's why God gives us memories
To lead us to our victories, I'm so happy loving me

Some will never know what you really think about them or how they make you feel, or how you feel about them.  For whatever reasons, we choose not to say anything.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  But when you think about it, there is equal damage either way, whether you choose to say something or nothing.  Why is it that some will live forever and some will never know?  When someone dies, there is the tendency for them to live forever in your mind because there is nowhere else for them to go.  The same thing applies for all the other people in your life that will come and go.  They belong in memories that play out in your mind.

Although sweet hidden treasures
Feel nothing but pleasure
We could never replace this love
We can't no we can't no
The sunlight leads us to a place
And the moonlight keeps us in his grace
I'm so happy being me

It might be hard to think you can replace a love that you have lost, because the memory of it is so good, it makes you feel good and there doesn't seem to be anything conceivable that could give you as much happiness.  Well, that's what you think now.  And that's totally natural to feel that way.  But I don't think you should close yourself off to any opportunities that might come your way.  Enjoy who you are with, if you are already attached.  We spend too much time sweating the small stuff and picking off things that we hate about them, rather than remembering what we loved about them in the first place.  If you are not with anybody, enjoy being you and people will be attracted to you.  Nothing is more attractive to people than someone who is confident in themselves, doesn't worry about other people's opinions and you're just a naturally respectful person of others.  I know that it might seem difficult to balance your opinions with respect, especially if people rub you up the wrong way, but there is a time and place for everything.  We just need to learn how to gauge things along the way.

I'm so happy being me
So happy being me, I'm regretting nothing 'bout me
Too busy living life, living love freely
So happy being me

I hope that you are happy being you.  The only person you should be good at being, is yourself.  It sounds cliche I know, and over rated, but sometimes the most simple of things is the hardest to achieve.  I regret nothing about me, about my life, because I would not be the woman I am today, I would not be how I think, how I believe, how I love and how I speak and how I act today.  I am not in competition with anyone but myself (I'm my own worst enemy in that sense) and I think that as much as I have achieved at this point in my life, I'm always hungry for more - not necessarily more success, but more learning about myself, because I think if I know who I am, complete with all of my iterations on a daily basis, this is primarily what makes me understand why I'm so happy being me. . .