Monday, 9 May 2016

Don't you remember. . .

Normally during May I would be writing about NZ Music Month.  I have done so for the past two years.  However this year, I don't have the capacity in terms of time to commit to writing consistently, hence the reason for my lack of posts in the past month.  This doesn't mean I've forgotten about my blog, but rather, just adjusting to other priorities that are taking precedence over my blog writing.

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye
Not a single word was said
No final kiss to seal anything
And I had no idea of the state we were in

There will come a time when you start to think about unfinished business in your life and you might come across someone that you once shared a strong connection, but you no longer do.  There is something that happens in your mind when your eyes meet again.  It might be some kind of chemistry (or chemical imbalance, depending on how you look at it to be honest), and you struggle to get some closure on something that is beyond your control.  How do you cope with the change in this way?  To cope with the changes in circumstances and wondering and lingering on what might have been, or rather, what never really was.

I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head
But don't you remember, don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby please remember once more

If you have a fickle heart, then why force someone to remember?  You were never faithful to begin with so why bring all this sentimentality upon yourself - is it because you are hopeful that something can be rekindled?  How do you even know that they loved you before?  Isn't the reason why they have moved on so quickly, is because you were never memorable enough to begin with?  Is this harsh?  Yes.  But more often than not, harsh reality is what is required to ensure that you're not finding daydreaming and fantasising on supposed relationships that had no real meaning or foundation.

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memories?
'Cause I often think about where I went wrong
And the more I do, the less I know

I think if you continue to try and maintain contact when someone has moved on, that is a sure sign that you need to find something else (or someone else) to occupy your thoughts.  There really is no point in trying to figure out where things went wrong, because they were just, well, wrong.  We spend far too much time trying to understand why things are in relationships and then just forget that we are meant to be exploring our feelings.  If someone completely erases you from their memory, then they shouldn't be worth remembering either, because they have found you easy to forget.

Oh I gave you the space so you could breathe
And I kept my distance so you could be free
And hope that you find the missing piece
To bring you back to me

Giving each other space can start the course to a tricky situation.  When someone wants space it's because they are trying to figure out whether you are someone who they want to be with or they are having doubts about how they feel about you (or they can't feel anything for you anymore).  When someone requests space and can't tell you how long they need space for - that's a surefire way to know that you are on the road to splitsville and there isn't anything you can do about it, especially if it is meant to end but you have been trying to hang on all of these years.

Why don't you remember, don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby please remember that you used to love me
When will I see you again?

I hope that when someone falls out of love with you, and seems to have forgotten how you made them feel, that you are able to step back and away from such a situation.  There is nothing worse than loving someone who doesn't love back.  And the only reason that's plausible is the fact that if their love for you has ended, do yourself a favour and accept it.  There is nothing worse than trying to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be held by you.

I hope that you make memories with people worth remembering.  It is easier said than done - but if you don't need to forget yourself anymore.  You can start putting other people's needs before your own.  Surely you remember what life was like before you thought that you had to give so much of yourself away that you are now barely recognisable.  Do you remember what life was like for you back then?  Don't you wish you could go back there and be at peace again.  I had never seen you happier as I did then.  You were beautiful then - don't you remember. . .