Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Can I walk with you. . .

I woke up this morning, you were the first thing on my mind
I don't know where it came from, all I know is I need you in my life
You make feel like I can be a better woman
If you just you wanna take this friendship to another place

I guess I haven't been blogging as much lately not because I haven't been inspired to write, but because there have been other pressing matters on my daily agenda that steals away my creative writing time.  I haven't been feeling very well either just lately, I put it down to not taking care of myself and stopping to smell the roses more often.  I've only recently discovered this song even though it's been around for a while, but I think it resonates quite strongly with me right now, because it has made me think about memories of my distant past and makes me smile about things that have been hidden in the corners of my mind.

Can I walk with you through your life?
Can I lay with you as your wife?
Can I be your friend till the end?
Can I walk with you through your life?

This blog post has been sitting in my draft folder for the past week and now I'm sick (oh the joy of being in winter in the southern hemisphere).  Have you found someone that you want to walk with throughout their lives?  Throughout your own life?  I guess I ask these questions because I'm unaware sometimes about how much we can have a positive impact on others.  Most of the time you're just trying to help others because it is in your capacity to do this, so you don't think much about it.  I guess I'm not sure if I want to be someone's wife again, but I can say for certain that I wouldn't mind being friends with people till the end of my life.  

You've got me wondering, if you know that I'm wondering about you
The feeling is so strong that I can't imagine you're not feeling it too, yea
You've known me long enough to trust that I want what's best for you
If you wanna be happy then I am the one that you should give your heart to

When you are in sync with people, you will find that they will contact you when you least expect them to, but it's this telepathic wavelength or frequency if you will, because they seem to tune into you, or at least be uber aware of you because they seem to search for things about you during their day, as if it acts as some kind of comfort to know that you are doing something worthwhile, because it makes them feel good about their own lives - not in schadenfraude kind of way, but more as an inspirational thing that makes them want to strive to be better.

Now everybody ain't gonna be like the summer's day
Being in love for real, it ain't like a movie screen
But I can tell you all the drama aside 
You and I can find what the worlds been looking for forever
Friendship and love together

I guess chance would be a fine thing if you could find friendship and love together.  You either get one or the other, but very rarely would you get both.  If you're one of the lucky few that has experienced both, you are very lucky indeed.  I think the more that you know yourself, the more you would be able to connect much more deeply with others, because you start to learn how you can answer the call in some people's hearts who want to be accepted.

Can I walk with you through your life till the day
That stops turning?
Can I walk with you till the day that my heart stops beating 

It is a difficult month.  On the 22nd of May it will be 3 years since I lost my husband and on the morning of Monday 16th May, his older brother passed away in tragic circumstances - only 6 days before the anniversary.  Even though their hearts have stopped beating, I am sure that they continue to walk alongside me and my sister in law as we navigate ourselves through our lives without them.  People talk alot about moving on, it really isnt'.  It's more about living without.  How do you live a life without someone who loved you unconditionally?  It's not easy is the first thing that comes to mind.

Can I, can I walk with you through your life
Can I walk with you till the day that the birds can no longer take flight
Till the moon is underwater
Can I walk with you?

Can I walk with you?

As I think about how much my life has changed without having my husband in my life, I have learned to distance myself from the guilt that people have tried to impose on me.  If you are a widow or widower, you'll know what I'm talking about - I'm talking about the concept that if you lose your spouse, you are meant to be in a perpetual state of grief or people try to dictate a "respectable" length of time to grieve.  It's not something that can prescribed like a course of medication.  It's a daily affair and one that people will not be able to navigate or negotiate or wrangle for themselves until they experience it too.  It's not something I would wish on my own worst enemy to experience, it is pain that once you think has disappeared, can return as quickly as a smell, sound or taste of something can manifest.

You are everything I've been looking for
Can I walk with you?
Creative individual
Can I walk with you?
Through your life
Can I walk with you?
As your wife
Can I walk with you. . . 

I hope that you can walk through your life with confidence and assurance.  I know this will take time and it will seem like you will not be able to get up and even consider walking but this is what this life is about.  We are meant to get up when we get knocked down, we are meant to think about what we want to leave behind in this world to show how much we cared about those we leave behind.  I'm not saying that I want to be famous, because I don't.  I just want to be at peace with myself and do something that is greater than me, that will make others greater than they thought possible about themselves and just be in constant joy. In a world that doesn't give us much joy, I say we can find it if we know how to see joy and happiness in things and people that colour our lives. 

When people want me to walk with them in their life, I will, but only because you need me to, so that you can start to walk through life on your own.  Just as I have :-)