Tuesday, 19 April 2016

The last time. . .

The first time I fell in love was long ago
I didn't know how to give my love at all
The next time I settled for what felt so close
But without romance, you're never gonna fall
After everything I've learned 
Now it's finally my turn 
This is the last time I'll fall. . . in love

The first I fell in love with this song was when I heard the piano introduction.  There is a certain level of apprehension about falling in love.  When you think about falling, it brings up connotations of being hurt, landing awkwardly and how much time you would need to heal once you fall.  Is this why you would choose not to fall in love?  Because of the chance of the potentially negative things that could happen, might happen, will happen?  Not knowing how to give love at all can also be a contributing factor to whether you decide to give love or not.  I wonder how someone doesn't know how?  Probably because nobody knew how to give them love either.  We can't give something to someone if we have nothing to give or we've never had an opportunity to receive it in the first instance.

The first time we walked under that starry sky
There was a moment when everything was clear
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why 
Because each question is answered when you're near
And I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds 
This is the last time I'll fall in love

Are you able to recall memories that you have shared with someone walking together?  You may find that you don't have any questions to ask or need to wonder about anything because you just needed to have time with that person; just being with them was sufficient, it was more than enough in what you needed in that time.  It is rare to find miracles in love and I think it's a natural enough thing for people to say that they would be disappointed if they hoped for miracles in love and it didn't happen.  Should we be disappointed so easily if things don't go our way in love?  I think sometimes the more we obsess about it, the worse state we find ourselves in and we tend to shut down and not know how to engage.  The peace of mind comes of course, when you are able to connect with someone who is able to show you what love is and how to keep it alive in your life, when you have been pushing it away.

Now don't hold back, just let me know
Could I be moving much too fast or way too slow
'Cause all of my life I've waited for this day
To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same

How do you cope with demanding things from people?  In relationships you will be hoping that once you reveal your feelings, that they will be able to tell you honestly and share those feelings with you, because you have shared first.  I am fascinated about the pace at which love accelerates or slows down in a relationship, because you need to be able to recognise what the catalysts are for moving things along or slowing things down.  Is it because you revealed your feelings?  Is it because you did or said something else?  Or the fact that there was some inaction and that nothing was said or done?  It's those moments of interactions how you respond to each other that creates those memories.  If they are memorable, you can replay them in your mind like favourite scenes in a movie.

You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words
And now I've said them, they can never be enough
As far as I can see, there's only you and only me

I think people need to have experienced this at least once - trying to build up the confidence to be able to say something to someone.  I guess you are scared of rejection or a negative reaction that would forever change the way in which the connection is played out in the future - or not - because of the reaction of that interaction.  Can words ever be enough?  One of the challenges of words being able to encapsulate what you say, people who overthink, will struggle to find the exact words that convey their meaning, or they will agonise so much about what to say and then not say anything at all.  What's that old adage?  Nothing ventured, nothing gained?  I would rather be involved in something and lose it, than not be involved and not know what it was like.  Life and love in life is an experience that we are meant to live.

This is the last time I'll fall in love
Last time I'll fall in love
The last time I'll fall. . . . in love. . . 

I hope that this won't be the last time you fall in love.
I hope it will be that last time that you hold yourself back and stop experience the life you were born to lead.  Fall in love easily, break your heart and be ready to love again.  But hey, not necessarily in that order.  Do it your way, just fall :-)