Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Scar. . .

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I could fit

It's important to surround yourself with people who are able to support you in whatever endeavour you are pursuing.  It's also important to be able to step back sometimes and take stock of what it is that you're doing when you're with others - are you constantly comparing yourself to them because they seem infinitely more put together than you are?  I think there is some real danger when you try to be like others, trying to shove yourself through the motions or shapes that don't fit you, because you aren't meant to fit in that way, but really value the differences that you bring to your connections, friendships and relationships.

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far
Could you leave me with a scar

We've talked about hindsight in so many previous blogposts that I've lost count.  The thing about growing up and becoming an adult is that we never stop learning about ourselves, as we shouldn't ever stop learning because our environment (yes even our eroding environment at the worst of times) and the company we keep and even the strangers we expose ourselves to - the big entire mess has the potential to leave you with a scar as evidence of your follies (or thinly disguised wisdom if you can see beyond the follies to the real lesson).

So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides 
clicking her tongue and said "This will all have to come undone"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I could fit

Have you thought about who you are able to trust?  You might like to see yourself as a very trustworthy person who has integrity and is able to really assist others, make other people feel like better people and become an asset in their lives rather than an ass.  When do you decide that as much as you have started building yourself up, that you might actually, after a long extensive examination in the mirror, actually come to realise that you need to come undone; that you might need to start again and unpick those stitches that you thought were required in order to help you heal, but hey, maybe it's time to bleed a little again, just so that you can let that wound heal faster.  How many times do we find ourselves trying to conform to other people's shapes?  Do you find it an exhausting exercise?  Is it even a useful experience?  How should we move forward, move ahead and ensure that we become better informed about how we approach those different shapes the next time we are forced to be squeezed through said shapes?

I think I just realised just in time, although my old self was hard to find 
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

You know what, you don't need to give anybody any of your wine.  They are more than welcome to bathe you in their wine, if they think it can entice you to give up yours.  But you don't have to do that.  When we see ourselves as bad fruit, the bad apple perhaps that might spoil the bunch, how will we be able to move forward and fulfil what we need to complete, on our pathway to eventually celebrate the greatness that has been inside us all the time?  I guess it's to celebrate what's within us when all we are able to see are our scars on the outside.  What dreams do you hold that you have yet to make reality?  When you look at your scars, do they hold you back from what you need to do?  When you look at certain people do you get annoyed with yourself because you think that you could've made better decisions that would've taken you somewhere different?  Somewhere better than your current situation?

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far
Could you leave me with a scar. . . 

We can all dodge bullets if we concentrate hard enough, but that would be too easy wouldn't it?  We can also choose to ignore our intuition and carry on making poor decisions that can cause scars to appear, particularly too when people are continually trying to get and more of you, despite the fatigue.

So I guess you could leave me a scar, but hey, I can handle it.
My strength that comes from within, the will to survive and triumph over adversity, means that even if the scar exists, it will soon fade in the passing of time because the pain only lasts as long as the wound is open.

There's something to be said about being happy and joyous as a result of the passion that you are able to bring to your work, but more importantly, you can already start to see that if you do go too far, that you are able to remember that scars, even though they are an ugly reminder of some pain that you have experienced, they soon heal :-)