Thursday, 31 March 2016

A million years ago. . .

I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly
Learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young
Deep down I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes I would have to pay
And bare my soul

Do you often reminisce about when things were easier, you know, that easier time when things weren't as complicated, when you didn't have to make adult decisions and just do whatever you wanted to do without having to worry about consider other people.  I'm not saying that you were formerly some kind of negligent individual who was entirely selfish and didn't do anything for anyone, but just that, there is something quietly satisfying about doing something for yourself that doesn't require some kind of checking-in process with other people; you were just truly free.  How much did you have to pay to earn your stripes?  What are those stripes anyway and what do they represent?  If a leopard can't change his spots, could a tiger or zebra change his stripes?  We spend so much time trying to earn achievements and win challenges and collect tokens - but we lost sight of what's important.  Only each individual truly knows deep within - what priorities should rise to the surface of their lives.

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me 
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

When you think that you're the only one that has been through this, the whole phase of regret that you find yourself in, you might find that it leaves a bitter after taste in your mouth where once sweetness and joy lived.  As sad as thing song is, I think it's has a melancholic beauty of a melody that can haunt the listener and very easily entice them to put it on repeat, like constantly, like, it never ended until you pressed stop. One thing that I love about Adele and her music is the simplicity in which her accompaniment is stark in contrast to the richness in her tone, the texture of her voice that we get to hear in its fullest range of dynamics in this song - low and sotto voce for the verses and then full voice in the choruses to illustrate the word painting that only true artists can inject into their music performance.  It's that sonic magic that resonates deep within one's soul - something I love insanely about music.


When I walk around all the streets
Where I grew up and found my feet
They can't look me in the eye
It's like they're scared of me
I try to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don't recognise me now
In the light of day

Do you spend your time trying to make other people feel comfortable?  Like you constantly have to go out of your way to be hospitable or you think you have to test a 'tough crowd' by being someone you're not.  Why are people scared of you?  What did you do or what was done to you that they will never understand?  Why can't people recognise you? Trying to think of things to say shouldn't be so difficult.  Most of the time you can just ask the right questions to make people talk about themselves so that you can listen.  In the light of day, sometimes harsh reality can set in or you can see things for what they truly are and see it all in scale.  Some things aren't as big as they appear to be.

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done 
Sometimes I just feel it's only me 
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

I hope you learn eventually that regrets are not meant to be opportunities to dwell on past disappointments or a failure to recognise actions that should have been taken, but rather that they are lessons that you learned to improve your current state of mind, to inform your future course of actions, to find the inner peace within yourself to know that you were meant to do those things or say those words in order to realise how loved you are by everyone else who truly cares about you.  We don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore.  The more that you subscribe to that, then you will have lost the game before you've even started playing.  There's no need to miss things, no need to miss people.  If time is irrelevant, which it definitely is for me, then you will see too, that you can live a little more right now, and not just think that you had it all a million years ago. . .