Thursday, 4 February 2016

What you don't do. . .

It's always funny when you're in a friendship, relationship, or you're starting out in a new friendship or relationship.  It's that part of the friendship/relationship, that phase where you're trying to figure who you are to each other, how much you mean to each other and what you will label yourselves, particularly when you are introducing them to your tight circle of friends.  Dating is a funny business isn't right?  It's the getting-to-know-someone stage, finding out your common likes and dislikes, taking a journey on the pathway of compatibility.  You start to keep a checklist in your mind about these common interests, the phrases they might say that irk the hell out of you but yet you still find them endearing all at the same time.  I guess you just need to be careful that you're not playing out a romanticised fantasy about the individual rather than really taking stock of what they're actually saying.

Heavy words, little lies
Telling everything but the truth, the truth
Three little words over time overheard and overused, used
No sweet nothing could ever be turned into something new
No grand gesture could ever be made to measure you

I don't know about you, but being lied to has got to be one of the worst things on my list that someone can do.  Some people will tend to show different versions of themselves to others because they feel that this is who they need to be in order to be accepted, well received, well liked.  I know it's easy to say, just be yourself and don't worry about what others say.  But I know some people who don't actually know who they are, can't keep track of who they are in front of different audiences.  This is probably why I don't spend too much time presenting different versions of myself because at my core, at my essence, I am the same person with strong values and beliefs about how I live my life.  Would someone uttering three little words change or challenge those values and beliefs?  I would investigate and interrogate what they think they would love about me.  You owe it to yourself to have a partner who knows what makes you tick, respects what makes you tick and loves you regardless.

I know what I got and I know where we're going
You don't need to show it, I already know it all
It's what you don't do, it's what you don't say
(It's what you don't do) I know you love me, I don't need proof
It's what you don't do, the games you don't play
(It's what you don't do) I know you love me, I don't need proof

People don't need to do things or say things to prove that they love you.  It's probably what I love most about this song; the fact that it talks about what doesn't need to be said or done - absence of proof is all the evidence you need to realise how much someone cares for you, the depths, the extent, the bandwidth of their wi-fi love for you.  I've never been one for games that are played in the game of love, but that doesn't mean I don't know the rules or I won't play if I'm challenged.  Have a think about the loved one in your life.  Do you expect them to constantly do things or say things to prove to you how much they love you?  I've been in relationships like that in the past.  It can be quite tiring and draining right?  If not the grand gesture, then a litany of little gestures may be what you demand.  You should be able to assess for yourself in your relationship if you can say the following: I know what I got and I know where we're going. . . 

I've been saving up my time so I could spend it all on you, on you
Oh, all I need is to see you smile; I've forgotten how to be blue, blue

Just being with someone who makes you smile should be enough.  Do you have that in your life?  It's funny isn't it?  Something as simple as that, just enjoying spending time with someone who makes your smile.  What's even funnier is that you might not even need to be in a relationship because you are already surrounded by people who save up all of their time to spend it all on you, people who make you smile, because your smile mirrors their's - helping you to forget about your own problems.

The closer we get, oh
The less we need to show

I hope that you will find the closeness with someone who will allow you the ability to be able to articulate what it means to not have to show. . . . anything.  Do you know people who don't do or say anything to prove their love or loyalty to you?  They are just being the best people that you need in order to bring out the best in you.  I guess the only people you need to show - is each other :-)