Saturday, 27 February 2016

Autumn leaves. . .

This is my 600th blog post :-)

If you leave this time I fear that you'll be gone for good
So I hold on like leaves in fall to what is left
Said her father left her young and
He said he'll be back with the same tone that you just said you'll stay forever with

Have you tried to leave someone and you can't?  There might be extenuating circumstances behind why you can't leave, probably some really good reasons about what keeps you there, and then the other person makes it difficult for you to leave as well, because they're trying to save something that isn't worth saving or they are oblivious to what is actually going on in your life to let you go.

Oh, it seems that all the autumn leaves are falling (oh oh oh)
I feel like you're the only reason for it (oh)
All the things you do, all the things you do, all the things you do
All the things you do, all the things you do, all the things you do
It seems you're the only reason for it

When people start to think that the only reason that things change, for the better in one's life, is because of the influence that you bring, then it almost seems as if they have invested all of their time and energy into you.  It can be an extremely rewarding thing I guess, when people rely on your advice and thoughts because they trust you, they've followed advice that you might have given and the outcomes came out in their favour.  So it's only natural that people want to know about all the things you do, because they might perceive you to have the Midas touch, that all the things you do turn to gold because you must know something that they don't know.

I've been bleeding in your silence
I feel safer in your valiance
I hold on like leaves in fall to what is left
Before I sleep I talk to God
He must be mad at me, it's karma
I'm confused who I'll spend my forever with

Do you feel like you've been handed a raw deal?  That no matter what you have done, because you've done everything right and done things in the right way without having to stand on people or minimise them to get to where you are, you start to wonder whether holding on is the right thing to do, when everything seems to falling all around you.  Do we even get to know who we'll spend our forever with?  I thought I was going to spend forever with someone, but it wasn't meant to be, he died and all of the plans that I thought we had in place disappeared.  If there are people that bleed in your silence and feel safe in your valiance, you need to be able to support them, but you also need to let them know that you won't be around forever because you're not meant to be.  Everything and everyone has a natural end.  So we must be prepared to deal with people's absences in an ongoing daily basis.

Keep positivity in your heart and keep a noose from 'round your throat
And when you poke at it just know, man
The iceberg is a reflection of you when you re-new your vision
Just think if it had sunk the Titanic, the f*** it would do to a critic, my n****?. . . 

If we have done wrong, made silly mistakes, hurt others in ways that the media or public will never let you forget, have a serious think about not making those errors again.  You just need to think about what you need to do in order to rebuild your life, to think about how you can avoid those behaviours again and just live to your highest expectation of yourself, give more than you would be daring to take, because that is what this life is all about.  Autumn leaves serve as a reminder about the fact that seasons change and that we lose things or people in order to make way for new learning.

And if my ship go down tell me who will abort?
And they won't let me live even when remorse that I give
When it gon' rejoice and forgive, tell me how I stay positive
When they never see good in me
Even though I got hood in me
Don't mean he won't redeem me, Lord. . . 

It can be a lonely journey trying to prove to people that you are no longer what you used to be.  So what's the shortcut that you need to take to be able to hold your head up high again?  You need to focus on being able to let your actions and putting your newfound philosophies and ways of living into action, not so that people can believe that you have changed - but because you can prove to yourself that you have changed - for the better.

I hope that you can stay positive even when people can never see the good in you.
I hope that you can stay positive even when people always see the good in you and don't believe you can fall.

I hope that despite whatever journeys we find ourselves on, whatever pathways take us away from our goals, that is it meant to happen because there are things that we must learn in order to take us to where we are meant to be.  Nothing is ever wasted.  We might not understand why we can't grab hold of the autumn leaves that falls through our fingers, but you need to know that you aren't meant to catch those leaves.  You are meant to instead, think about how you cope when those autumn leaves fall through and help you to prepare to catch those autumn leaves when they are meant to be caught, because it's all tied up in all the things you do . . .