Monday, 18 January 2016

Heroes. . .

Conversation series 2016:  First conversation of the year with a friend 

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing, will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be heroes, just for one day

I didn't know confidence until I met you.
I wasn't sure if it was just blind confidence in yourself or you were bluffing, but the more times we talked I realised you really did think that way about yourself, that you were royalty, not because you wanted to be king and you wanted me to be queen, but you talked a lot about how we were very much the same, and the fact that you hated everyone else for not getting things as fast as you did.

And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact 

You like telling me what to do, not because you were bossy or domineering, but because you saw things so clearly in your mind that meant that things were just so, that things were meant to be the way that you saw them because it was right.  We are lovers of life you and I, loving it in all its ridiculousness and all its glory, seeing life from so many different angles that we were often seeing things from a bird's eye view because we saw the bigger picture before anyone else did.  That is what bound us, that was the fact.

Though nothing, will keep us together
We could steal time, just for one day
We can be heroes, forever and ever
What'd you say?

A conversation with you is always filled with something that I can't quite put my finger on because it's not meant to be in a fixed position or located in a single place.  You mentioned how you can gain everything yet lose everything all at once.  I wondered how that was even physically possible but quickly realised - there are no restrictions to how everything moves.  We create our own destinies and can manipulate time however we see fit.  I wondered why you are always so casual and relaxed yet anxious and weirdly formal at the same time.  I understand this now - we are all a combination of contradictions that we must be able to decipher about ourselves.

I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim 
Though nothing, nothing can keep us together
We can beat them, forever and ever
Oh we can be heroes, just for one day

Dolphins swim effortlessly in the ocean, like the playful puppies of the sea that exude friendliness and their caring nature towards humans.  I can understand why you would want me to be more like a dolphin, to tap into my playful nature.  You've always talked about me not being fun in the sense that I don't let go of my seriousness when I need to, but I think you have helped me to push past that.  Learning to be fun and knowing when to relax has been extremely important to maintain the balance that I have been searching for that has always been within me all along.

I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing, by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, forever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day

I feel in this verse like you are singing the lead while I echo your sentiments.  This verse speaks to me of enjoying moments, no matter if they are stolen moments and even if we can be heroes for only one day, during such a finite time, but we would still be heroes.  Would we be able to transfer those triumphant feelings into other occasions where we would need to be heroes again?  Or does being a hero only rely on stolen time, with moments that cannot be repeated or replicated, because they are too precious or too rare to come by?  Why do people always want to battle or compete anyway?  Why do we have to beat people?  Does living in this world force us to constantly be competitive and move other people out of the way in order to be successful and become a hero?

We can be heroes
We can be heroes
We can be heroes
Just for one day
We can be heroes

I guess it depends on what we define heroes to be though right?  What are we really talking about when we are referring to being heroes?  Herculean feats of heroism or just the ordinary human's attempts that shine through on the odd occasion when adrenalin kicks in?  I think we can often forget to see ourselves as heroes when we need to most, because we are always waiting for others to affirm our status as heroes - when we only need to look at the people who we help, not for their praise or recognition of our acts, but just to know that if you hadn't stepped in at the moment to restore their own faith in themselves - then gees, isn't that what heroes do?  Allow humanity to restore their own faith in what they can already do?

We're nothing, and nothing will help us
Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay
But we could be safer, just for one day
Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh; just for one day

I hope that we all get to experience that one day soon enough.
I know that I will keep the memories of conversations and events where I felt that we were heroes - together - even if just for one day. . .