Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Starting all over again. . .

I often talk about relationships and friendships on this blog, mostly because I value good quality relationships and friendships.  Of course there can often be some rough seas that you encounter while on these ships (see what I did there?) so I guess it's about how well you know yourself to know how to interact effectively with others when the going gets tough and your relationships or friendships don't have smooth sailing.

Starting all over again, is gonna be rough, so rough
But we're gonna make it
Starting all over again as friends is gonna be tough, on us
But we gotta face it. . . 

It can be a difficult decision to make to be able to start all over again.
You start to ask yourself questions about why you've arrived at this destination, I mean,
* Were there signposts along the way that would have lead you to believe that the ship would sink?
* That you wouldn't have been able to withstand the rough seas ahead even with the best of intentions or whether
* Whether you would be secure and safe enough within yourself and your own feelings, to be able to start all over again?
Can you trust yourself, I guess is what I'm really asking?

We lost what we had that's why it hurts so bad
It sets us back a thousand years
We're gonna make it up though it's gonna be rough
To erase all the hurt and tears

All of the hurt and tears would be because you have allowed yourself to become vulnerable in a relationship or friendship - and even though it hurts and it has made you cry - it is what is meant to happen because it is meant to build your character, there are things that you've learned that will be added to your basket of knowledge that you can carry forward and ahead into other relationships and friendships that you have yet to develop.  Don't you think that's an exciting prospect though?  We can only set ourselves back a thousand years because we have chosen to stop growing, become stagnant and refuse to acknowledge some home truths.

Starting all over again is gonna be hard
But I pray that the love will help us make it
Starting all over again is gonna be slow
But we both know that we can make it

I think the biggest lessons I've learned from relationships or friendships that have ended; either because they had to end or it ended outside of my control (death can do that sometimes, provide such finality in a totally unexpected way) has been two main things really:
1) Be your authentic self - even when you can be misunderstood by others, it's important for you to be content with your true and honest self and
2) Be prepared to learn - because even if you don't want to learn, you're gonna have to learn today if you're intent on having some kind of tomorrow - so might as well be prepared right?

We gotta take life as it comes oh dear
Never never never worry about who's right or wrong
It's an uphill climb to the finish line
We're gonna try just more time, one more time

Being right and worrying about being right is a futile game to play and pretty pointless if you ask me.  Because when you come down to it, what is supposed to happen after you're right?  Do you get some sort of prize that you can parade up and down the street with?  Does it make you the victor in a relationship or friendship?  I imagine it would be a very tiresome experience to want to be right all the time.  That's just wrong . . .

Starting all over again is gonna be rough, so rough
But we're gonna make it. . . 

I hope that you will be ok within yourself to start all over again, whenever you need to.
Sometimes I think we are afraid to start all over again because we are afraid of change, we are afraid to lose memories and the way that things used to be - I say don't be afraid.  Starting all over again is meant to be a new and fresh experience, they provide new opportunities and moments of clarity that emerges from your hurt and tears.  It's life baby.  It's gonna be rough, so rough, but we're gonna make it. . .