Sunday, 22 November 2015

When was the last time music made you cry?. . .

James Ingram represents for me one of the last of the great r'n'b artists who painted stories of heartbreak, heartache and star crossed lovers in his music.  This particular track is no exception.  I have long been an admirer of his work, after I was introduced to it as an impressionable young college student by a friend who shared his love of the man and his music.  It was fascinating to me at the time because the friend was often seen publicly as someone who was very different from what I saw privately.  It was this friendship that taught me a lot about how we choose to conduct ourselves and how we want to be perceived as opposed to being our true authentic selves behind closed doors.

Over there by yourself, lost like there's no one else 
When did the love ever start separating, untying hearts that are breaking
I can remember the first time, darling you let your feelings show
And we laughed and we cried, oh we tried weaving ourselves into one life, 
Our life, I've been wondering

When you have that breaking point in a relationship, it doesn't mean that a break down in the relationship is imminent - in fact it means that there is something that is meant to happen; that this disruptive force and rubbing up against each other that causes this friction is meant to reveal the truth that lies beneath.  Why do we find ourselves trying to blend so much into other people's lives as we weave in this way?  Is this because we are expected to be this way as we've been taught no other so we don't know any better?

How long has it been since you've had a friend?
Where is the love we, we used to share? 
Oh woah and I wanna know
When was the last time music made you cry?

That's the funny thing about past relationships, rather than leaving them in the past, we try to hold on and hope for the best that new life evolves out of them, even when we reluctantly realise that once it's dead, it's dead.  When was the last time music made you cry?  I don't know about you, but for me it's more like when doesn't music make you cry?  There will be songs that you hear that will speak to your soul and transport you and your feelings to that moment in time where that song was playing in the background during a significant memory with someone, or the lyrics or how the song sounds pulls at your heartstrings in ways that you wish it doesn't, but it does.  It's called being true to yourself and being willing to accept that whatever happens, you are still able to take some semblance of control should you wish it.

Where is that old silver lining?  
Who stopped the sun from shining?
In our own little world we just hold on
Hiding from all real emotion

It's the hardest thing in the world to be able to show real emotion.  There is the danger of thinking that if you reveal real emotion to someone else, that they will take that real emotion and stomp all over it and slap it back in your face, but I guess that's the chance you have to take if you are willing to see that silver lining or see the shining sun again.  What are you holding onto exactly?  Are you able to keep the grip tightly to your little world?  Is your world little because you refuse to see what's around you in the wider world?

I don't say that the fault isn't mine
I could have said more but sometimes
It's not easy to make what's unspoken
Heard by a heart that's not open
Woman I've been waiting

That's the thing about love right; our hearts can't talk to each other when someone's heart isn't open to hear what another heart is saying.  It sounds so simple, yet so hard to do.  Do you realise that you've let someone wait for you?  How long do you leave it before it becomes an issue?  I guess until you experience real heartache in this sense, then you won't know what it means to try and pick yourself up after it and add another layer to toughen yourself, to shield against such heartache again.  If he's waiting, are you going to put him out of his misery and at least give him a decision?

Darlin', tell me what you need, trust me, I'll be right there

When was the last time music made you cry

Oooh oh oh baby anybody who has a heart can feel the music. . . 

I hope that you will make a decision that suits you, that helps you to understand how you want to live your life and bearing in mind too; that it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to rely on someone else for what you need in your life, but the option is there, especially if her's offering to be right there.  If he's asking when was the last time music made you cry, you must also ask some other related questions such as:
1) Why is it important for you to know when the last time was?
2) Are you asking me when was the last time so that you can check whether it was "our song"? Or
3) How do you feel about me getting emotional over music that makes you cry?

Just know that even when music makes you cry, music can also help dry those tears and make you realise that all hearts can feel music; you just need to consider whose hearts you choose to talk to and whose hearts you choose to cry with, especially when that music makes you cry. . .