Sunday, 22 November 2015

How do you keep the music playing? . . .

How do you keep the music playing?  How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?
How do you lose yourself to someone and never lose your way?
How do you not run out of new things to say?

These are questions we often ask ourselves when we are at a crossroads in a relationship.  Have you been there?  It is difficult to make decisions based on what is best for you, best for your partner because deep down you still care for him/her, and if you have children together, you think about what the ramifications will be for the potential split.  I have always loved this song because it speaks to me about music being love and making it last, that the song is the relationship and how it is showcased within it but still remembering to be mindful of what makes up that song - what elements do you bring to the song?  Are you the melody - strong and clear, leading the relationship and ensuring that you develop and grow in your variations?  Or are you the rhythm - sometimes syncopated, sometimes in time with the melody and ensuring that he/she has time to breathe, slow down and pick up the pace depending on how your relationship needs to go?

And since you know you're always changing, how can it be the same?
And tell me how year after year, you're sure your heart won't fall apart
Each time you hear his name?

Why should your heart fall apart?  Does his name tell you that your eyes no longer light up when you hear it, just as they don't when he enters a room?  How can your relationship remain the same when you are always changing, not because you want to change, but because change is inevitable like the lightning that accompanies thunder or the rain that accompanies clouds - it cannot be stopped.  So what do you do?

I know the way I feel for you is now or never
The more I love, the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes, I may not see forever, forever

There is a danger in loving someone more than they love you, or having someone love you more than you love them.  Why do either of these things make us afraid?  I often think that relationships do not allow us to be truly free to explore feelings in ways that are taught to us as children, like the way we are meant to colour pictures inside the lines, such rules that dictate what we should be doing, rather than how our heart truly guides us in making difficult and tough decisions; but only if we are brave enough to hear it.  If eyes are the mirror to the soul, a reflection of the soul, then there is a possibility that you may not see forever, but only see it fade in the distance of your mind's eye.

If we can be the best of lovers, yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose
The music never ends

How can you try everyday?  Do you need to create some kind of plan that will allow you to truly address your mutual issues that block you from being in the relationship of your dreams?  I have often see people grow apart, rather than grow together and just like the tomato plants I remember from a friend's garden in my childhood days, I often marvelled at how the tomatoes, even though they were planted at the same time, would grow at different heights - they were never really the same height.  There would be pieces of string that were used to hold up those that grew too fast and outgrew it's other counterparts in the same position.

I know (how do you keep the music playing)
The way I feel for you is now or never (how do you make it last)
The more I love the more that I'm afraid
(how do you keep the song from fading)
That in your eyes I may not see forever
(keep the song from fading)

The way in which this section of the song plays out with the dovetailing is symbolic to me of what happens in relationships - when two people are so intent on speaking their truths but do not listen to each other.  In a weird kind of way in this song, the dovetailing works because you hear the harmonic effects of the two melodies skilfully being woven together, before arriving at the final word of forever, albeit somewhat wistfully.

If we can be the best of lovers, yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose
The music never ends. . . 

With effort and luck, the song suggests that maybe love will never end.
What do you think?
Can you be the best of lovers and be the best of friends?
Can you try each day to make it better as it grows?
What do you want?
And then there are those of us who are too afraid to even be in relationships.
To each their own, but for me, regardless of where you stand on love, I hope that you keep the music playing, in your own way :-)