Thursday, 15 October 2015

You've got a friend. . .

I don't know if it's because SoulFest15 has been cancelled in Australia and New Zealand, or if I'm just feeling nostalgic, but I'm really feeling Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway today.

When you're down and troubled, you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

It is very easy to be down on yourself and slink further and further in a downward spiral.  Why?  Because it takes a lot of energy and willpower to stay positive and be hopeful.  It is much easier to be negative and wallow in self-pity or let the demands of daily pressures grind you to your knees when you're on the daily grind.  Do you have someone that you can picture in your mind when you close your eyes and then not long afterwards - you get a text, a phone call or a visit from them?  I have friends like that and it always amazes still when that happens.  There's a certain telepathic connection between yourself and your closest friends and they seem to pick up on it when you least expect it, especially when you think that you will suffer in silence.  It is important to have people who know you so well that they will not let you suffer, in fact, they don't even need to say anything, just being there is enough.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter spring summer or fall, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there, you've got a friend

Do you make it explicit to those around you that you will make yourself available to them if they need you?  It can be easy enough to be criticised for being there for everyone and not having the same reciprocity.  I've often mentioned in previous blog posts about the fact that you shouldn't rely on others for your happiness because there is a chance that you become bitterly disappointed - it's a gamble that you must take I guess; where you establish those trust boundaries and you believe that they will support you no matter what.  Are you a seasonal friend or a friend for all seasons?


Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
People can be so cold
They'll hurt you and desert you
Take your soul if you let them, but don't you let them

The dynamics of friendship need to be tested and explored to know if you have the right friends near you.  The one thing about having good friends is that you trust them to be the same in front of your face as they would be behind your back.  I often smile to myself when I was discovering the intricacies of friendship and trying to navigate my way through failed friendships as a young girl because I trusted too easily, made friends too easily and had to get burned several times to know - not everyone has the same heart as you or is as generous with their time as you.  Being hurt in friendships teaches you a lot about resilience and how you choose to be treated by others.  If you are a sucker for punishment, you won't know any better and continue to go back for more, so it's important to wise up and think about your own self-worth.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter spring summer or fall, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there, you've got a friend

I hope that all my friends know how much they mean to me.
There are people that I have let go and have chosen to associate with because they have either hurt me or deserted me - but I truly believe that they were meant to be seasonal friends, meant to come into my life to teach me how to value myself, to show me how not to be a friend to others and to also think about how many great decisions I made, keeping those I can proudly call my friends.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again. . .