Sunday, 18 October 2015

Tell her about it . . .

Listen boy,
Don't want to see you let a good thing slip by
You know I don't like watching 
Anybody make the same mistakes I made
She's a real nice girl
And she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

I love songs that tell stories and make you think about how you can apply it to your life or see how it relates to your life.  This song gives us an indication of the musical influences that Billy Joel was listening to growing up in New York as a teenager.  I imagine that the song is from the perspective of a well meaning older male figure who is giving advice to Billy about how to engage with women and what you should do to maintain a relationship.

Listen boy
I'm sure that you think you got it all under control
You don't want somebody telling you
The way to stay in somebody's soul
You're a big boy now
You'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing
She ought to know

Do you think carefully about the kinds of things that you should tell other people?  I know some people that spend a lot of time really thinking carefully about what to say and share because they don't want to be misconstrued or they worry a lot about other people's perceptions about what they would share.  It's an interesting concept - being able to stay in somebody's soul.  It makes me think about how much of an impact you would have to make, to make such an impression.  How would you make yourself a part of someone's soul?

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real
Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Do people tell you everything that they feel?  How can you tell that they are being real with you?  Do you know about other people's crazy dreams?  Do people tell you that they need you?  For some people it might be easier to show you, or if they tell you, they actually don't tell you explicitly but they kind of hint at it or tell you implicitly like you're some kind of mind reader.  It definitely makes for entertaining conversations, trying to decipher what people are trying to tell you because they're too busy trying to make you guess!

Listen boy
It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself 
You've got to provide communication constantly
When you love someone you're always insecure
And there's only one good way
To reassure

It can be a common mistake to make, to take someone for granted and automatically assume that things will stay that way forever (whatever 'that way' looks like).  What kinds of things would you be able to say?  It takes a lot to be able to trust, to build a relational trust where there is no judgement involved and just to be able to listen to what someone is willing to share.  When you love someone, you might not even know that you love them.  I've been hearing friends talk a lot about relationships in recent months and getting so caught up in trying to label and define things because that's how society conditions us to behave.  I say, who needs that?  Whatever the outside world tries to label and define a connection you have with someone; that connection is totally between you and the other person.

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you
Tell her you wish she were there
Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Not all women are the same, but most women do appreciate being told (quite pointedly I might add) just how much she means to you.  I mean most women I know lament at times, the fact that their men/women don't communicate with them and tell them about how important they are in their significant others' lives.  Is it that difficult to let someone know that you care?  That if you are somewhere doing something and you wish that you could share the experience with her, is it really that difficult to tell her that you want her with her?  No I don't think it's that hard to do, but some women (on the flipside) might think that you are too clingy and can't do anything without her.  Clear communication and expectations will quickly dispel any of these awkward moments.

Cause now and then  
She'll get to worrying 
Just because you haven't spoken for so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Being the bridge of the song, the piano features prominently in this section, it changes the mood somewhat and gives the listener something to think about, particularly about the consequences of what might happen if you don't communicate clearly.  Even if you think you may not have done anything to warrant a breakdown in communication (it could be the not having done anything that could be the sole contributor!) but it's always good to talk things out and be clear.

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't be wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want to wait
You got to tell her about it . . . 

I hope that you are able to tell people how you feel.  The vulnerability and the fear of feeling exposed is part of what it means to put your trust in action with someone.  But of course, it is totally up to you and you don't need to do anything that you don't want to do.  I believe that when people respect who you are and understand how you want to communicate - that's the main thing.  I guess you just need to be aware to take a chance every now and again and see what happens.  Being able to smile is important, being able to share those smiles with someone who cares for you is even better.

No need to tell me about it, I already know :-)