Saturday, 24 October 2015

Tears dry on their own. . .

To all the girls out there who sell themselves short in relationships. . . 

All I can ever be to you is darkness that we knew
And this regret I got accustomed to 
Once it was so right
When we were at our height
Waiting for you in the hotel at night
I knew I hadn't met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don't know why I got so attached
It's my responsibility
You don't owe nothing to me
But to walk away, I have no capacity

Those clandestine hotel meetings, hiding your relationship or affair (whatever the entanglement is); do you have the capacity to deal with it being that way?  You tell yourself you can handle it and there are no strings attached, but the more you involve yourself in that way, the deeper you find yourself falling.  You were naive enough to think that you wouldn't be attached, but that's exactly what ended up happening.  You don't even want to share anything with your closest girlfriends because you've never embarked on anything like this before, it feels different and exciting, I mean heck, you're discovering things about yourself that you never knew existed.

I don't understand why do I stress the man
When there's so many bigger things at hand?
We could've never had it all, we had to hit a wall
So this is inevitable withdrawal
Even if I stop wanting you
And perspective pushes through
I'll be some next man's other woman soon
I cannot play myself again
I should just be my own best friend
Not f*** myself in the head with stupid men

It's hard when you're in a relationship to think logically sometimes about what you're actually doing in it.  It is also quite natural when you are in a relationship to have spent the time trying to define the boundaries and how the relationship will play out - what you are meant to do with each other and what you mean to each other.  I felt that in the most destructive relationships, you spent so much time giving away too much of yourself and you tried way much harder than your other half.  You learn enough in time to stay away from stupid men, but like frogs turning into princes, you have to go through a whole bunch of stupid men to get to the smart men.

So we are history
Your shadow covers me
The sky above blaze

When relationships or trysts end, there is the tendency for some residue to remain.  How you deal with it is completely up to you, whether you choose to try to wipe all of that away or just let it fall by the wayside in due course and focus on the sky above and whatever new experiences it brings with it.

I wish I could sing no regrets
And no emotional debt
'Cause as we kissed goodbye, the sun sets
So we are history 
Your shadow covers me
That only lovers see

Do you see those shadows when you come into contact with ex partners?  You catch a glimpse of them somewhere or you run into them unexpectedly and then you relive those moments with them like some crazy movie montage that plays out your whole relationship like that Extra chewing gum commercial (which of course didn't end in a marriage proposal, obviously, because you're broken up).

He walks away , The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I'm grown
And in your way, In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

I hope that you will have learned all you can from your past relationships - I mean that, your past relationships, not failed relationships - I don't think you are meant to have "successful relationships" in the sense that it must work and do well, but more along the lines of - learning and growing together with someone who supports you and is your equal in so many ways.

So let your tears dry on their own because you've got better things to do than cry about a man who mistreats you and doesn't value you for being the beautiful woman that you are.  There are so many other bigger things to stress about than some man.  Besides, a good man doesn't make you stress about him, he takes it away, or at least. . . he won't bring it to you :-)