Monday, 26 October 2015

Piano in the dark. . .

To the memory of those who play piano in the dark for you. . . 

When I find myself watching the time
I never think about all the funny things you said
I feel like it's dead
Where is it leading me now

It can feel like that at times.  When the good times, funny moments or funny words exchanged with people can seem to quickly lose their lustre, shininess and brightness of the moments.  Where do you think you are being lead to when those moments end?  Where do we go when happy moments end?  Do we go on to recreate those same moments in some other place with other people?  Or do we just  go on and relive those funny moments in our own minds when we need to?

I turn around in the still in the room
Knowing this is when I'm gonna make my move
Can't wait any longer
And I'm feeling stronger but oh

Ah . . . . making moves.  That anticipation that comes with making a move is quite intensely critical.  Think too much about it and you overthink it, freak yourself out and then you don't make the move at all.  When you feel the confidence and that confidence permeates every single part of you, it eliminates the self-doubt that normally resides in you, that's when you know when to make that move right?  The still in the room is quiet, but it can be the most deafening sound you will ever hear, because you know the move is about to made and you are the one that is about to make it.

Just as I walk through the door (just a little)
I can feel your emotion (can't you feel your emotion)
It's pullin' me back (just a little more time)
Back to love you

Is it the attraction that pulls you back or is it some other force?  History maybe?  If it's history, it will definitely be the high level of comfortability and the fact that there is some sort of ease in being with someone who knows you, what you like, how you like to be and you're locked within that bubble again.  Only time will tell when that bubble will burst, but I guess if you're going to live in the past again with someone from your past, that you enjoy the ride in that bubble until reality intervenes again and it's time to come crashing back to your responsibilities, obligations and expectations of living your present life.

I'm know I'm caught in the middle 
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no, gave up on the riddle
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark. . . 

Aha. . . time to let go again.  Who plays piano in the dark for you?  I'm a sucker for hearing that piano in the dark because well. . . . I'm a pianist so I'm conditioned to hear it playing and love the various tones and emotions that spill forth from the sounds that a piano makes.  What makes you cry when you hear that piano in the dark?  Is it the familiar melodies that are reflected in the heartstrings that said melodies dance across too?  I think it's easy to cry a little because of the heartache that accompanies those melodies, but also because you know, as beautiful as those melodies are, they will haunt you too, because you know that they are finite melodies, only for a certain time and they will expire soon, but you will torture yourself and play them again in your mind away from prying eyes and nosey faces.

He holds me close like a thief of the heart (thief of the heart)
He plays a melody
Born to tear me apart
The silence is broken
And no words are spoken but oh. . . 

I hope that who has stolen your heart, that you can still enjoy the beauty of your broken heart (because we all know it's going to be broken, again, but hey, it's what you do right?) because you know it means that you are alive, when you can feel pain, that the silence that has been in your life for so long, now has these glorious melodies fill the silence and no words need to be spoken, just to hear the music fill the room is enough.  It's enough for now.  Thanks for helping me to remember what it means to hear the piano in the dark. . .