Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Conversation. . .

      To all who come to me for conversation, comfort and consultation; that's what you'll find :-)

He comes for conversation
I comfort him sometimes
Comfort and consultation
He knows that's what he'll find

I bring him apples and cheeses

He brings me songs to play
He sees me when he pleases
I see him in cafes

Have you had people that treat you this way?  It used to bother me quite a bit because it felt like they didn't really respect me for what I could be or mean to them.  I think as I age I have begun to realise that I don't need to be all things to people, but that I have developed a specialised set of skills that people seek me out for, that people want to be able to be in touch with so that they can be reassured about what challenges or dilemmas they face.  That to me is part of the great mission that I have to help people, to free them; even if it means that they will do things that please them, rather than me.

And I only say hello
And turn away before his lady knows
How much I want to see him

She removes him like a ring

To wash her hands
She only brings him out to show her friends
I want to free him

The connections and conversations that you can have with people, can be misconstrued but they also must be kept private too, not because there is anything to hide, but because I think there is something imminently sweet about being someone trusted, someone who helps others in such an innocuous way so that they can be who they need to be, who they want to be :-)

Have you been a trophy partner for someone?  It's not a great thing to be, to be known only for what you can bring to a relationship, something superficial, where status and social climbing outweigh and outshine your inner worth and value that nobody can be bothered peeling back.  That's sad.  I tend to find that shininess in people, only because I know what to look for with my discerning mind's eye.  I don't understand why not everyone can see the worth in everyone, the value of anyone's humanity, not meant to be pushed aside.  I think I want to free so many people that I see in that way.

Secrets and sharing soda
That's how our time began
Love is a story told to a friend
It's second hand

But I'll listen to his questions

I'll give answers when they're found
He says she keeps him guessing
But I know she keeps him down

I don't understand why you would choose to stay with someone who doesn't want to see you fly, someone who doesn't want to celebrate you and how you want to live life.  I don't understand why you would want to be with someone who keeps you down.  Is it because there is some jealousy about someone growing apart from you, because they're growing and you're not?  If two rose bushes were planted in a garden, given the same amount of nourishment and sunlight, would they not grow at the same pace?  I guess it comes down to how much a rose bush wants to grow and works with what they're given right?

She speaks in sorry sentences
Miraculous repentances
I don't believe her

Tomorrow he will come to me

And he'll speak his sorrow endlessly and ask me why
Why can't I leave her?

I've lost count of many conversations over the years where I've been that friend for boys/guys/men who have expressed sorrow about not being able to leave their partners.  The reasons were various, different, yet the question remained the same - what should I do?  I never offered advice, not the kind of advice that they wanted to hear.  I often knew the partner well because we mixed in the same circles or I didn't know her at all, only from the stories that were regaled to me during those conversations and consultations that warranted comfort.

But friends are friends forever
So hard to change their role
Laugh with him, cry together
A friend feels so old
Hey friend, it feels so whole

But you keep your feelings deep inside
You talk of them and think of pride
Now is the wrong time
But maybe if a dozen days are warm and right
You'll hear him say "I've wanted you baby for such a long time". . . 

It isn't enough to hope in situations like these.  There will be situations where you will have been friends with someone for a long time and nothing happens, even if you wanted it to.  You're probably scared that it would change the dynamics of the friendship from a perfectly great platonic friendship, because once you cross that threshold into relationship land - there's no turning back, things will never be the same - whether they turn out well or not.

I hope I don't ever stop talking about feelings in conversations.  They are my favourite topic to talk about - finding out how someone is feeling and why they feel the way that they do - it helps you to understand who you are and why you act certain ways because it's dictated by your feelings.  So rather than think about how to master your feelings, just enjoy exploring them - whatever they may be.

He comes for conversation
I comfort him sometimes
Comfort and consultation
He knows that's what he'll find. . .