Thursday, 17 September 2015

I Am Changing. . .

Look at me. . . look. . . at me. . . 

Do you often get a chance to really ask people to look at you and see how you really are?
I think the most fun thing is when you look at yourself and start to really see yourself for the first time; especially when other people mention things to you about changes that you can't see in yourself.  Physical changes of outward appearances are always the easiest to spot.  But I think it's the changes that come from within that are the best changes of all; the changes that you feel and that only you can see.

I am changing, trying every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
I'm trying to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you, I need a hand

When you try to convince people about how you have changed for the better, to improve your position, what you were, particularly when you let people down, when you were given so much hope and so many people believed in you but you chose to take them all for granted and abuse them; you constantly seek ways to prove that can earn their trust, faith and hope in you again.

I am changing, seeing everything so clear

I am changing, I'm gonna start right now right here
I'm hoping to work it out, and I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand

It is a hard lesson to learn when we feel that we don't need a support crew with us, when we think that we can achieve everything without people to act as a sounding board, without listening to good people who tell us what we need to hear rather than what we want to hear.  Having the sense to step out of yourself for a bit so you can take a closer look at yourself is a difficult thing to do, but it is absolutely necessary.  I think the more you are able to truly reflect on what you see in the mirror, think critically about what you say, think and feel that can have an impact on others - how you choose to give to others - that's what life is all about.  I spoke to a friend about what our purpose is in life just this week, and we talked about the fact that living is all about giving.  You can't truly live if you don't give, if you won't give - and that includes giving someone a hand when they ask for it.

All of my life I've been a fool
Who said I could do it all alone
How many good friends have I already lost?
And how many dark nights have I known?
Walking down that wrong road
There was nothing that I could find
All of those years of darkness
Can make a person blind
But now I can see. . . 

I'd like to think that I've kept the people that I need in my life that I absolutely need and want to be in there.  I have definitely cut people along the way so I totally understand the concept of having good friends so I've been careful not to lose - in fact, I have kept them as close as ever.  The only other good friends I have truly lost have been because they have departed this life and I couldn't control that, nobody can.  Man, how many dark nights have you known?  I seem to attract people in my life who have suffered some serious trauma or some life changing experiences that have forever left imprints of something that never completely goes away.  Does that mean that we spend our lives surrounding ourselves with other kindred spirits and other equally damaged people so that we can heal each other?  I sometimes think it's just that we find ourselves getting close to people not knowing that our souls talk to each other, that without us knowing, we reach out and touch each other.

I am changing, trying every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend, to help me start all over again

Do you constantly press the reset button in your life?  I think there's no limit to the number of resets that you can have.  The important thing is that you have good people to surround yourself with to ensure that you are able to start all over again.

Oh that would be just be fine
I know it's going to work out this time
Because this time I am, this time I am. . . 

I am changing, I'm getting my life together
I am changing, yes I know how
I'm gonna start again, I'm gonna leave my past behind
I'll change my life, I'll make a vow and
Nothing's gonna stop me now. . . 

I hope that you embrace the changes that you are going through.
I hope that even if you don't start to recognise the changes and struggle to understand why you're going through them - just embrace them still and trust that in time, it will be revealed to you.

The worst person that can stop you is yourself.
Just remember that every time you rise in the morning to greet the new day, you are always changing and you are never the same as when you went to sleep.  That's a scary thought for most, but for me; it's a promise of a better tomorrow and the comfort that I have a chance to be better than I ever was :-)