Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Save your soul. . .

I first came across the musical stylings of Jamie Cullum as a suggestion from my friend +Anaru White.  I have written a previous blog post about this artist (see What a difference a day made).  I really loved his rendition of that jazz standard.  There are very few artists who can interpret the classics in a way that can put their own stamp on it.  There is an Abbey Road recording of this song, but I've chosen the Jools Holland recording because it is as close to the album version which I lack.  I find that the full arrangement gives more power to the song than an acoustic pulled back version.

Know this, it's a universal truth
People let you down
So reach out for the things that you can use
Buried in the ground

What could you possibly use that are buried in the ground?  Does he mean that we need to reach out and touch something more tangible, like the dirt on the ground because it's more reliable than unreliable people?  It's easy to get misunderstood though isn't it?  When you use the wrong tone, if someone misconstrues or misinterprets what you've said, caught the wrong end of the stick so to speak.

I  think I've been misunderstood
Not all my choices have been good
In the fading light
So we should put this one to bed
Before it bursts out of my head
Ready for the fight

Sometimes you don't know that your choices aren't good ones until the consequences of those choices come to its fruition.  I mean, you kind of have an inkling that you're on a sketchy path, but you take a punt anyway, you take the risk and hope for the best.  I think many of us have done this and either been pleasantly surprised, horribly disappointed or completely elated, pending the outcome of course!  I'm coming face to face with demons (mostly within myself) and it's a conscious effort to remember my purpose and why I am here, what I'm supposed to do in this life, rather than squander opportunities and avenues that have been prepared for me, pre-destine and pre-determined for me before I was even conceived.  

Inside of another tiny life
Full of big ideas
It strikes me with the baggage left behind
I could dry those tears

I've been drying a lot of tears lately, and they haven't been my own.  They are mostly tears of empathy intermingled with those internal tears cried by people I have met who have called out to me and shared their stories.  I completed that 16 personalities test by Myra Briggs, and you know that part that says intuition - guess how much percentage I got for that section?  100%.  Probably the only perfect score I've ever had in my entire life.  But this score says a lot about the person that I am.  It says a lot about why I live my life the way I live it and why I think the way I think.

All of my secrets they are free
Now watch them tumble out of me
Into better days
So save those homiletic tones
And conjure singing from the moans
And you'll hear me say

There's nothing worse than someone boring you to death with their homiletic tones.  IF you wanted a semon you would willingly go to a church and listen to it on a Sunday (or a Saturday if you're Seventh Day Adventist) and just subject yourself to hearing the word for the day.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that sermons are a bad idea, I'm just saying that getting unsolicited ones from people isn't too exciting - it's like getting unsolicited emails for something you didn't subscribe to.

So step away from castle walls
Those voices calling in the halls
They are moving on
So I'll keep my side of the street
Cleaner than where our pounding feet
Ever walked upon

There is absolutely no point in preaching to others and telling them what they need to do, when you haven't cleaned up your own side of the street, or your own backyard.  I've come across people who like to make a big song and dance about things and then when it came to the crunch, they didn't deliver.  The annoying thing is that you believed that they could deliver because they totally promised that they would, so you take them at their word - and then when it comes down to the wire, something happens like - they were being build ups and actually couldn't do the task.  I hate people who bluff their way through stuff, especially important stuff that we rely on their supposed specialised skills to deliver - and they deliver nothing.

So when it gets too late and I've found my place
Who will save your soul and love me here
When it gets too far well let down your guard
Who will save your soul and love me here

I don't think I was sent to save souls.  I think I was sent here to connect with them and share experiences and feelings with them.  I think it is during those times when you are at your most vulenrable that you find who your true friends are that think about what you're going through for a change, rather than calling on you all the time to help them.

I think this is why this song speaks to me right now, I mean, how are we meant to do it all, who can we be vulnerable with and for how long?  Who will save your soul and love me here?

 I hope that you have friends and acquaintance that know how to balance those expectations of you accordingly.

I honour my friend Nik Warrenson, who is going to be laid to rest later today.  I know that your soul is saved and I will think about who I choose to surround myself and love me here.  Thank you for loving me dear friend and comforting me when I lost Loma.  You will always hold a special place in my heart because of that.  But for so many more reasons that I won't write about here, other than to say, I'm still in shock and I can't imagine the world without you in it.  You always made me smile.  The Mount Eden Reflective Society has lost one of its most beloved members.  See you next lifetime my friend.

Manuia lou malaga Nik xxxx