Monday, 29 June 2015

Unbreakable smile. . .

This blog post is dedicated to you - yes you - with your unbreakable smile :-)

Somebody told me fame is a disease 
You start singing the blues when you start seeing the green
But I think it's all about what you choose
The way you live your life, depends on you
That's when I realised I wanna make a difference
Change other people's lives, give hope, even for a moment
Use my name for good, and change the game I could

When you've figured out what your mission or life purpose is, it can take a while for you to get there.  There are so many obstacles - things and people - that can threaten you being able to fulfil this because they are meant to be placed in your pathway to see how staunchly you stay close to your chosen path.  The choices you make, even those split-second, last minute, final hour decisions can be the difference between you realising your dream or the dream remaining a pipe one.
Because to make it you think I gotta act a certain way
Be a little insane, live a little, it's okay
I guess we have different definitions of living, but you'll twist my words anyway
You'll say that I'm naive, like I don't have a past
You're the one being deceived, I see right behind the mask
Tryna to stir me up and get me mad
I smile because happiness is all I have, so

The gay community in America is rejoicing at the moment with the marriage equality law allowing gay marriage to be recognised, as is the case in many other countries across the world, including Aotearoa New Zealand, where I live.  Being raised as a Christian, I have observed on Facebook from my friends the vehement disapproval of the bill being passed.  I still choose to support equal rights for gay marriage, because despite my religious upbringing, I have friends who are openly gay, so my thinking is that, if I deny them the opportunity to have the same rights that I have - that's not fair.

You see me hanging with my fam, but that don't mean I living in my bubble 
You'll find me at church, but that don't mean I can't cause trouble
Stir up a little scene 'cause isn't this what you want?
For me to mess up, so you can dress up some story
Saying, Tori, this'll sell more records
But I'd rather be a yawn, than a pawn in your chessboard
So call me boring, call me cookie cutter
Call me what you want
A matter of fact
Just say it loud and st-stutter

It can be irritating and extremely frustrating when people try to pigeonhole you or put you in a box or try to manipulate you and make you do things - so that they can have control over you because apparently you're to blame for their inadequacies and shortcomings in their own lives?  We live in a world that has become increasingly more difficult for us to just "be" - be ourselves, be whoever we want to be, be with whoever we want to be with - even if that means being alone.  I sometimes think people forget that being alone and being lonely are two very different things.

'Cause I know who I am, yeah I'm still the same
Just a California girl with big dreams
Thinking maybe they'll let me sing song about real things
And baby who knows maybe I can sell out shows without taking off my clothes
God made me sexy I don't care if only I know

La da da da dee, you're not breaking me
La de da da da, ain't got time for ya, singing
La da da da dee, you won't shatter me
La de da da da, got an unbreakable smile

I had a conversation with a fellow doctoral student about how when people in our indigenous communities reach a certain point in their education - that they start to adorn themselves with the cloak of condescension, choosing to pick away at people with the ornaments that they use to throw at people who are trying to give back to the same communities that they also come from.  I strongly believe that we are born the ethnic groups that we are in - because we are meant to be ambassadors to show other other ethnic groups the beauty of what makes us universal, but also the vulnerabilities that set us apart and makes us uniquely special.

And I'll just keep on smiling

Sometimes in the absence of words, all you can wear is a smile, when people persist in trying to break your unbreakable smile. 

I might be smiling, yes

But don't mistake kindness from weakness. . .